And so I had to walk a few blocks for Pride.
I boarded a bus at Ayala Triangle, heading to Dian Street corner Gil Puyat Ave. But we have yet to reach my destination – we were still at the corner of Chino Roces Ave. (formerly Pasong Tamo) and Gil Puyat Avenue, some four blocks away – when two young passengers alighted. They were flamboyantly gay; loud both figuratively (in their presentation of themselves/the way they carried themselves) and literally (they were yakking about this or that guy).
And just as they got off the bus, the konduktor (i.e. the person who collects the fares) said quite loudly: “Hoy, magpakalalaki na kayo (Hey, start acting like/being men)!”
An older guy (seated behind the driver) snickered before adding: “Babakla-bakla, nakakahiya (Acting gay, it’s embarrassing)!”
At least two other (younger) guys chuckled.
That’s when I sorta snapped.
“Kuya,” I said, “walang ginawa sa inyo ‘yung mga bata pero inaaway nyo (those kids didn’t do you any harm yet you’re picking a fight with them).”
The konduktor looked surprise. BUT – annoyingly – he didn’t seem apologetic.
“Bakla kasi eh (Because they’re gay),” was all he said, looking me over.
“Ay, bakla din po ako (Oh yeah, I’m also gay),” I said, as a matter of fact. “Ano naman hong kinalaman ng kasarian ng tao sa puwede nang bastusin (What does one’s sexual orientation have to do with the claim that one can already be harassed)?”
He went quiet, even avoiding my eyes. But he still had that half smile on his lips, like he knew better than me. “Sorry na,” he begrudgingly mumbled.
The older man who earlier snickered suddenly found something interesting outside the bus; he didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with the conversation, and instead started to keep to himself. The two younger guys who chuckled started murmuring to each other; but like the older man, they didn’t seem to want to have any part in the conversation, too.
“Para na po (Stop the bus),” I said; I was sorta annoyed. Then – just as I got off the bus – added: “Sa susunod ho, huwag kayong mambabastos ng tao – kahit na anong kasarian. Hindi ho sila ang nagmumukhang gago; kayo po (Don’t disrespect people no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity. It isn’t them who end up looking stupid; it’s you).”
The konduktor didn’t say anything anymore; perhaps just gladly anticipating my getting off the bus (before they all could start talking again, and this time with me as the subject).
But – very small that move may have been – I was glad I did it.
Because we all should speak out when we see abuses. No matter how seemingly “trivial” this abuse may be. This, for me, is the essence of (and how we can start showing) being #HereTogether…
Having been to various parts of the Philippines for the LGBT advocacy, I have encountered more “extreme” abuses.
In Iligan City, for instance, I met numerous members of the LGBT community who repeatedly shared the story of a gay boy from Marawi City whose father allegedly picked his teeth one by one, using nothing but pliers. Every time a tooth is removed, the father supposedly asked the son: “Lalaki ka na (Are you now a straight man)?” The son would say: “Bakla po (I’m gay).” And so this father (if he can be called that) continued picking teeth. By the time the father picked most of his son’s teeth, the boy was (obviously) still gay. So this father supposedly then stuffed his son in a rice sack, tied this close, and the hanged this sack in some river until “magising siya na lalaki na siya (he realized he’s straight).”
My biggest question was: “Did anyone say anything to stop the father?”
“Wala (None),” I was told. “Iwas-gulo (To avoid skirmish).”
There’s the profiteering in HIV “advocacy” – that is, those who get the bulk of the money/budget from donor agencies do nothing but have parties/travel the world/hold photoshoots/et cetera, while the very people they claim to be serving are dying in treatment hubs (or get lost to follow up, so they just disappear completely).
I asked grassroots NGO (that raised this issue with me) if they’ve made their complaints about the profiteering official. I was told “No”. There’s the fear of being ostracized; of funding being kept from them if they complained.
And so this very abuse (for they can’t be called anything but) committed by the very people who are supposed to serve continues to happen.
I know a gay guy who – while in a hospital – was allegedly forced by a doctor (who also happens to be married to a former high-ranking government official) to have HIV test. Her supposed reasons: he’s a young gay guy, and he works for a call center.
I brought up this issue with the head of one of the biggest HIV-centric NGOs in the Philippines. And to my surprise, he recommended NOT pursuing the issue by NOT lodging a complaint against the erring doctor.
“Huwag na palakihin ang isyu (Don’t make matters worse),” he said.
That gay guy was – eventually – allowed to leave the hospital after he threatened them he’d jump out of the window if they kept haranguing him. That suicidal ideation all because he was told to just shut up.
I know of transwomen who weren’t allowed to graduate (e.g in Cebu City and in Dapitan) unless they started presenting themselves in a masculine way. In Dapitan, the school head involved is even gay; and he allegedly told the trans students he’d sign their clearances if they had their breast implants removed.
I asked: “Was a complaint filed?”
I was told: “No. Kung puwede kasi mag-comply, comply na lang para matapos na ang issue (If we can comply, we may as well comply just to end the issue).”
I can go on and on and on with examples of abuses I’ve (so far) encountered, but the point remains the same: So many of these abuses happen because those involved opt to stay silent.
Note that a lot of the abuses start small.
At homes, verbal abuses that are taken as “just normal” do not only live emotional and psychological scars, but even lead to physical abuses. As a kid, I saw a father hit his gay son with metal chain. He said he’s been telling the son for years to “straighten up”, but that this was not heeded. So the “next step” was to physically hit the son. No one – not the mom, not the school officials who noted the son’s scars, not the barangay officials – said a thing; instead, it was taken as “just normal” way for a father to discipline an erring son not for doing anything wrong/bad but just for being gay.
In communities, treatment of LGBT people as “not normal” at times eventually end up being used as reasons for hate crimes. A transwoman from Malay, Aklan once shared the story of a trans sister being stoned because she was seen as “different”. The victim did not – will not – even complain…
Again, we can go on and on and on with cases…
There’s no going around this: Our silence is emboldening our abusers.
And it’s time we stop tiptoeing as if we’re more concerned with the feelings of those who abuse us than with the abuse they did/are doing to us.
It always starts with at least one word. So speak up.
It’s not always comfy, I admit. There’s always price to be paid.
Looking inwards, it’s also not always comfy because it could mean we extend a hand to those who even we (members of the LGBT community) hold biases against (e.g. pamhinta versus pa-ghirl and trans community members). But we need to back each other because no one else will.
We ought to be willing to pay this price (LET ME STATE THIS: unless our lives are at stake; though there’d be those who’d be willing to die for the cause). Our (rainbow) freedom is always worth that price.
Sounds like some motherhood statement, yes.
But no, we all don’t need to make grand gestures. Not everyone can, or even ought to.
But we can all always start small. Like opening your mouth as needed… and walking a few blocks for Pride…
3 Terms you need to know in HIV advocacy in the Philippines
HIV advocacy in the Philippines has evolved – and in many ways, devolved – to highlight erroneous practices. Here are at least three terms in use locally that highlight how BROKEN HIV advocacy is in the Philippines.
I was in Northern Mindanao when I first heard of a term used to refer to a service “provider” who – in a word (and there really is no going around this) – ALLEGEDLY “molested” masseurs who had to be tested for HIV as required by their line of work.
When interviewed, some of these masseurs alleged that a certain medical practitioner who – during testing – would “dulaan ang among itlog ug utin (fondle our testicles and our penises).” And then – as if to show them who’s the boss – “mu-ngisi pa jud siya, unya mu-schedule sa uban sa amo-a ug booking (this person would smirk at us, and would even schedule trysts with some of us).”
That was the first time I heard of a term that is apparently used to refer to people like this person: “advoKATI”, a play on “advocacy” and “makati (literally, itchy; and contextually, a slut)”, because they supposedly use advocacy as a cover for their itch/desire to pick up or sleep around.
Through the years, other terms being used related to HIV advocacy also came to my attention. And here are at least three of them; all of them highlighting how BROKEN HIV advocacy is in the Philippines.
n. Refers to a person who uses the advocacy as a front to get sexual partners.
The medical practitioner mentioned above is an example; though – by no means – is his case unique. Other examples include: giving (donated) vacc in exchange for sex with a PLHIV; providing after-testing services only to good-looking newly-diagnosed persons with HIV, while the not-so-good-looking are left to fend for themselves; and “counselors” using the confused state of mind of newly-diagnosed PLHIVs to sleep with them.
n. Profiting from HIV advocacy; or people who profit from the same.
Let’s get this straight: Profiting from HIV is not exactly new; nor is this exclusive to the Philippines.
Globally – and perhaps even more apparent – is the profiteering done by pharma companies that produce the life-saving ARVs for PLHIVs. There is also the issue with accessing “good” drugs by developed countries (e.g. PrEP) versus “dumping” of those not already used by the developed countries in the poorer countries (e.g. phase out of Nevirapine and Efavirenz).
Perhaps Peter Mugyenyi said it best when he tackled in “Genocide by Denial: How Profiteering from HIV/AIDS Killed Millions” the “incredible self-indulgence of the pharmaceutical companies and the cold-heartedness of the rich world that turned a blind eye until it was far too late, and then responded too slowly with too little.”
Now not just the big “bodies”, but even the other players in responding to HIV are mimicking this. And yes, this includes HIV “advocacy” in the Philippines, which is emulating this, too.
Here, we continue hearing that “there is no money in advocacy”, much more for those affected by HIV. This is supposedly why it’s difficult accessing existing treatment, care and support (TCS) – because, as always stressed – “there just isn’t enough money to go around”.
And then you hear about HIV “advocates” who can afford to buy numerous stuff (from a number of cars to a number of properties to luxury items to high-end gadgets to getting cosmetic surgery, and so on) from their “small” salary as NGO workers.
Or “advocates” who have drivers. WITH UNIFORM.
Or “advocates” who can tour the world using only their “meager” earnings from their “small” salary.
This is NOT to begrudge people their salaries.
BUT when you couple these with:
- Inability of newly-diagnosed PLHIVs to go to treatment hubs because they don’t have money to pay for their fare.
- Complaints from PLHIVs about inability to access to treatment because they can’t pay PhilHealth.
- Non-access to other meds for opportunistic infections (or the need to beg the likes of DSWD or PCSO to fund these meds).
I am starting to sound like a “sirang plaka (broken record)”, repeatedly writing about issues I’ve already written about.
BUT there’s this disconnect that is too painful to just ignore.
All because there are “advocates” who see HIV as a cash cow.
v. The use of HIV advocacy for social climbing. “Katkat” is a Bisayan word meaning “to climb”. This is often related to advoCASHy as it emphasizes only the glam in “helping” even sans the actual helping.
There are NGOs paying PR firms to promote HIV “advocacy”. Ask them how many people got tested because of the “campaigns”, and they’d tell you: Our indicator is the number of Facebook likes. “Likes” derived from the money paid to celebs, bars, photographers/videographers, alcohol consumed, et cetera. Partying in the guise of advocating.
There’s an “award” for people who “helped” HIV advocacy in the Philippines – even if grassroots HIV workers question the “winners” (e.g. who these people are, how they were chosen, what they’ve really done for the HIV community). What’s seemingly important is the hype created; particularly since celebs “joined” the “cause”. More photo ops mean more exposure means more (possible) funds.
There’s the funding of a photo campaign because the one disbursing the fund are “models” in the campaign, themselves.
There’s a well-funded beauty pageant even if we have (often denied) ARV shortage (not to mention hubs that still do not offer all tests included in the OHAT package, from CD4 count to viral load count).
As already noted in the past, there’s this focus on the glam/social climbing (e.g. get celebs to promote testing), perhaps forgetting that real advocacy goes beyond that.
And so here we are now, with 31 new HIV cases reported every month in the Philippines. Ten years ago, we only had one case EVERY DAY.
We are fucked. But we’re not only fucked because of lack of sex education, non-promotion of condom use, antiquated practices (e.g. we have yet to teach U=U in the country, or make PrEP and PEP widely accessible), and so on.
We’re also in deep shit because the people who should be serving us want us to be there so they can benefit from it.
This is the new(er) world of “advocacy”…
It’s called advoCASHy to promote advoKATI and advoKATKAT.
Back in Northern Mindanao, I asked those who alleged to have been victimized if they complained – officially.
I was told: “Na, kinsa ra ba mi (Yeah, right! Who do we think we are)? Kolboy kontra sa medical practitioner, paminawun ba mi (Sex workers versus a medical practitioner, who would listen to us)?”
Despite recognizing power structures and all that, I admit I still initially found the “excuse” inexcusable. Lodging a complaint against an abusive service “provider” seems like a good first step to remedy this situation. Letting things as they are only allows the erroneous system to continue.
And then – much later – the person they alleged did them harm formed a new NGO, and this NGO was funded by a bigger NGO based in Metro Manila. I mentioned the allegations to one of the heads of the Metro Manila-based NGO, hoping – perhaps – for them to closely look at the allegations since, and after all, they were “enabling” the person involved by funding this person.
Let me get this straight: These are all allegations, of course, and they need to be investigated to be validated/invalidated. Everyone involved ought to be heard – from those who accused, and the accused. But that they exist at all should already be cause for concern.
Alas, the allegations were ignored.
So this “provider” continues to be coddled – and enabled – so long as this person’s NGO churns out reports that the bigger NGO can use to get even more big bucks.
All too apparent, people choose to turn the blind eye so long as money keeps flowing in…
No wonder HIV advocacy is in the Philippines remains broken…
3 Reasons why TasP and U=U won’t happen soon in the Philippines…
Treatment is available for people with HIV. And if a PLHIV gets treatment, he does not need to die from AIDS-related complications, and he’ll reduce his viral load so he can’t transmit HIV to others. But in the Philippines, among the common reasons why TasP is NOT working is because of the failures of the service providers themselves.
Fact: Treatment is available for people living with HIV.
And if someone with HIV gets treatment, he/she does not need to die from AIDS-related complications.
And if someone also gets treatment, the antiretroviral treatment (ART) he/she uses reduces the HIV viral load in his/her blood, semen, vaginal fluid and rectal fluid to “undetectable level”. And get this: Evidence shows that individuals on effective antiretroviral treatment (ART) with an undetectable viral load cannot transmit HIV to others.
This is why treatment as prevention (TasP) is important.
So important, in fact, that the World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines call for “test and treat” strategies to “initiate all people diagnosed with HIV on ART as soon as possible after diagnosis as a way to decrease community viral load and reduce the rate of new HIV infections”.
But in the Philippines, among the common reasons why TasP is NOT working is because of the failures of the service providers themselves.
Testing is picking up, yes. But even now, not even half of PLHIVs access ART.
But so many of the after-test services continue to be lacking.
Here are three (of the many) reasons why I think TasP and U=U won’t happen soon in the Philippines:
1. After people get tested, no one really knows what to do next.
In the past three days, I have been speaking with three people whose HIV rapid test results were “reactive”. Soon after the tests, they were basically “dumped” by their “counselors”/service providers. These three were basically left on their own – and, as two of them said, “ni walang flyer na binigay para sana alam ko man lang ano na ang gagawin ko (no flyer was even given so I would at least be guided on what to do next).”
You’d expect more from the center where they got tested, too – both are satellite treatment hubs of one of the country’s major treatment hubs; and one is (in)famous for its extremely well-funded “efforts” to supposedly stop the spread of HIV in the Philippines.
The way I see it: Centers without after-testing support should NOT exist.
Because I said this before, and let me say this again: “You can’t just test people and then – after finding out they’re reactive/positive – ‘dump’ them to become somebody else’s problem. Because if/when you do, your concept of service provision is too limited, and as such, you’re actually part of the problem you claim to be dealing with…”
2. Baseline tests are NOT covered by PhilHealth.
In the Philippines, the treatment, care and support (TCS) received by most people living with HIV (PLHIVs) are covered by the Philippine Health Insurance Corporation’s (PhilHealth) Outpatient HIV/AIDS Treatment (OHAT) Package. Specifically, to those who are enrolled in PhilHealth, P30,000 is allocated per PLHIV per year, or P7,500 every quarter.
The 2010 circular that guided the implementation of the OHAT specifically stated that “covered items under this benefit are drugs and medicines, laboratory examinations including Cluster Difference 4 (CD4) level determination test and test for monitoring of anti-retroviral drugs (ARV) toxicity and professional fees of providers.”
The revised OHAT Package released last June 2015 stated that “covered items under this benefit are drugs and medications, laboratory examinations based on the specific treatment guideline including Cluster of Differentiation 4 (CD4) level determination test, viral load (if warranted), and test for monitoring anti-retroviral (ARV) drugs toxicity and professional fees of providers.”
Meaning: baseline tests are NOT covered by the OHAT package.
In 2015, Outrage Magazine interviewed Dr. Rosanna Ditangco, research chief at The Research Institute for Tropical-AIDS Research Group (RITM-ARG), a treatment hub located in Alabang. She lamented that management issues come to play in the delivery of treatment, care and support (TCS) services to PLHIVs.
For instance, “the OHAT Package does NOT cover baseline tests yet”, including such baseline laboratory tests as CBC, chest x-ray, PPD and blood chemistry (i.e. lipid profile, BUN, Creatinine, FBS), and CD4 count.
Let’s call this out already: This policy is – in a word – idiotic.
You need ARVs to treat HIV. You can ONLY get ARVs if you get your baseline tests done. If you have no money to pay for these baseline tests, then say goodbye to ARVs. Sans ARVs, you’re as good as dead.
3. Many medical practitioners in HIV advocacy continue to not know much about… HIV. Or even if they do, they continue to be sources of HIV-related discrimination.
One of the (aforementioned) guys who only recently got tested for HIV told me that – when the attending doctor was informed that his CD4 count is 60 – he was sarcastically told: “Ha, good luck!”.
I saw for myself how one nurse told a PLHIV “not to have sex anymore, ever. Para di na kayo dumami (So your number won’t grow).”
Try bringing up U=U in the country, and among the staunchest deniers are those working in HIV advocacy. I remember one of them tell me before: “Magkakalat pa (You’re giving them excuse to spread HIV)!”.
I also know of doctors who won’t even touch people they suspect to have HIV – due to disgust or fear or whatever, I can only surmise…
And so here’s another fact: Unless these are dealt with, expect for the worst to come.
On doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result…
The anti-discrimination bill has been pending in Congress for 19 years now. There are anti-LGBTQI politicians hindering the bill’s passage; but it may also be time to REALISTICALLY look at the current handling of the ADB to ascertain what needs to be changed from within the LGBTQI community so we don’t wait for another 19 (or more) years…
Insanity: Doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.
This witticism has been attributed to, among others, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain (though when Rita Mae Brown used it, she attributed it to the Narcotics Anonymous “Basic Text” released in November 1981). But no matter the “origin”, the thought remains – i.e. it’s silly (perhaps even idiotic) doing the same thing over and over and over again when we already know what the result will be.
This thought kept nagging at me in the way the anti-discrimination bill (ADB) is being handled – particularly why, after 19 years, it continues to languish in Congress (in either the Lower or Upper House, or in both – depending on the year being discussed).
Let’s state the “givens” first.
1. There will always be haters IN Congress.
In the past, in the House of Representatives, it was Rep. Bienvenido Abante (6th District, Manila City) who – this one is the most ironic of all – chaired the Committee on Human Rights; as well as the likes of Rep. Lito Atienza (of Buhay Partylist). Currently, and in the Senate, we have the likes of Sens. Tito Sotto, Manny Pacquiao and Joel Villanueva.
2. Numerous politicians use the LGBTQI community to advance personal interests.
For instance, Sotto’s “Eat Bulaga” earns a lot of money by parading members of the population he refuses to grant human rights (i.e. Super SiReyna and Suffer SiReyna). And Villanueva USED TO support LGBTQI human rights, back when he needed the votes; but when he already got that, the narrative changed…
3. The haters can be “persuaded” to side with what’s right.
Even the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (somewhat) changed it’s tune: it is now anti-discrimination of LGBTQI human rights (as long as it will still be able to discriminate, of course).
Some forms of “persuasion” can be harder/harsher – e.g. take the moolah away from Pacquiao, and he starts “reaching out” to the people he considered “masahol pa sa hayop (worse than animals)”. Some efforts are done behind closed doors – e.g. trans Rep. Geraldine Roman reaching out to Atienza to allay his fears that the SOGIE Equality Bill has nothing to do with marriage equality (and discuss the “toilet issue”), so that he ended up supporting this.
Now here’s where the “argument” of this article enters the picture.
Largely, it seems that the current approaches to promote the ADB (seem to just) continue to be the same.
And so we continue to be failing.
1. The ADB development continues to be “exclusive”.
Even when the ADB was comprehensive and mentioned other minority sectors (like PWDs, seniors, Indigenous Peoples, religious minorities, people living with HIV, et cetera), no representatives of these sectors were invited in the development of the same ADB.
Forgive me for saying this, but this is typical of a “top-to-bottom” effort – i.e. when someone basically dictates what’s good for… everyone (without hearing from the supposed beneficiaries).
2. The constant “othering”. And this happens outside and inside the LGBTQI community.
“They” are the “enemies”; only “we” are the “heroes” (there were even pro-ADB factions who wanted to discredit Roman who helped pass the ADB in the Lower House in 2017 after only a year).
“They” don’t know what’s good for the people; only “we” know better what’s good for them.
“We” don’t have to engage “others”; “they” do nothing but complain and complicate the ADB.
“We” can’t support any other form of ADB; we just want “our” version to pass.
This is “our” ADB because we’ve backed this for so long.
3. Efforts related to ADB tend to be elitist.
The “handlers” of ADB continue to not see that – yes – online presence is good, but if the people supposed to benefit from it do not even know of it, of what good it could do to them, then the “noise” created is just that, exactly: noise.
I say: Try going to some beauty parlor in Valenzuela, or Quiapo, or Tondo, or… just about everywhere in the Philippines. Ask the parlorista if he or she knows of the ADB. If he or she does, that’s GREAT; but if he or she doesn’t, then reconfigure plans to make sure that these people know of it.
I remember during the Pacquiao debacle, when Luzon-centric activists/“activists” were flown to Mindanao to meet with the boxer. The local LGBTQI community there were – basically – ignored, treated as inconsequential to the cause they’re supposed to be part of.
4. We can’t show the numbers.
Last June, “we” were so proud to have held a “Pride” event in Marikina that was attended by approximately 25,000 people (the claim).
But – get this – when a “unified political rally” was held to push for the ADB, we couldn’t even get 1/4 (or even 1/8!) of that number. And then another more recent “rally” was held in the Senate, again to push for the ADB, and the attendees did not even reach 50. We’re not “25,000 strong”; instead, it seems, and in a few words, we are “25,000 weak”.
One of the continuing “sore” issue re ADB is its association with marriage equality. The truth is, many people – including politicians – continue to think it advocates marriage equality. If – after 19 years! – the ADB continues to be misunderstood even by people who are supposed to have access to copies of the ADB, then – let’s admit this much – the messaging is failing…
Nineteen years is far too long a time to wait for the passage of a law that will protect us from discrimination because of our SOGIE.
So yes, we thank everyone – from Etta Rosales to Kaka Bag-ao to Roman to Sen. Rosa Hontiveros, and so on and so forth – who are pushing the ADB (no matter the version) in Congress.
But we also have to REALISTICALLY look at ourselves (and those handling the ADB) and check why we continue to fail. Again, we have “enemies” on the outside, yes. But unless we see (and admit, and start doing something about it) that some of what needs to be changed are from within the LGBTQI community, then we may have to wait for another 19 (or more) years…
Start with that wo/man in the mirror…
With revisionism, credit-hogging, co-opting/hijacking of causes, et cetera happening even within the LGBTQIA community, Michael David C. Tan says “we need to look at ourselves closely and see if we have become the very people/systems we seek out to destroy/dismantle.”
“…I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It’s time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that they’re not alone?
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change…”
Man in the Mirror, 2008
This is going to be short; and yet I hope… crisp.
But – to start – considering Michael Jackson’s tattered past, let me apologize for starting this article with portions from his “Man in the Mirror” hit. Not to lift him up (he doesn’t need me for that) or attack him for his flaws (and he sure had many – e.g. child molestation charges), but his words sort of easily sum up a key message so many of us want to forget. That is, that for change to happen, we need to start with us. It’s a hackneyed statement/cliché, I know; but – guess what? – the stock statement has not gone stale.
Here’s the thing: So many of the (now out-to-the-world) flaws from within the LGBTQIA community merely reflect what we sought out to change. And so many of these same flaws are there because of our refusal to see that, in so many ways, we have become mini versions (some are actually exact replicas) of those we attack.
Off my head, check:
Yes, LGBTQIA people (like non-LGBTQIA people) claim that the Marcoses – and by extent, the role played by the likes of Pres. Rodrigo Roa Duterte here – seem to be busy amending our Martial Law history. By all means, we should be mindful of all forms of revisionism; we should not forget our past (the good and the bad) because we can only move forward if we know our history.
But – this is what’s unnerving! – there are also LGBTQIA community members (many of them the most loud in criticizing the revisionism that is happening) who are revising the LGBTQIA history in the Philippines – e.g. who should be credited for starting “Pride”, who we should thank/adore/praise/treat as gods for starting (not even for getting pass) an anti-discrimination law, et cetera. When we criticize what we, ourselves, are doing, that’s called (in a word) hypocrisy.
We go back to former strongman Ferdinand E. Marcos; and we now have Pres. Duterte, both we attack for their (what we refer to as) “wanton desire to cling on to power”. Rightfully, it should be said.
But then we look inside our LGBTQIA community, and we have:
A) Metro Manila-centric “leaders” who would go to LGUs to ask/dictate/tell them to develop ADOs sans community consultation of the LGBTQIA people there;
B) So-called “networks of LGBTQIA organizations” with “leaders” who are there as forever heads (with no mechanisms for passing of power); and
C) “Leaders” who help dictate where funds go, and yet only give the same to their inner circles.
3. Idya-idya/Sila-sila/Nepotism/Special groups.
That the supporters (no matter how evil they may be) end up dividing the spoils of war is an oft-cited observation. In the past, the term we used was “cronies”. The terms may have changed, but the concept remains the same – i.e. that a small circle of people end up benefiting from those in power.
Yes, this is wrong; and yes, this has to be criticized (and changed).
But looking inside the LGBTQIA community, it’s not like we’re “exempted” from this practice.
A) The non-inclusive approach to developing the anti-discrimination bill (ADB) (I have said this in the past, and I am saying it again and again and again);
B) As noted in point #2, the giving of available funds ONLY to inner circles; and
C) The continuing Metro Manila-centric-controlled discourse re “LGBTQIA movement in the Philippines” (there are those who’d deny this, of course; that’s their right. But that these same people are based in Metro Manila or are even overseas bely their very denial).
We often hear – as reasoning or as excuse, depending on how this is interpreted – that it’s because our LGBTQIA movement is “still young” And yes, this may be true. But the fact remains that when we’re no better than the very people we attack; when the systems we say are wrong/erroneous are the same inside our movement, then who are we kidding, really?
8 Ways to know we’ve sold ‘Pride’
The moment the sponsors get to decide who “leads” the event because they gave so much money, then we’re double fucked. Because this is the sure sign we’re willing to eat our pride to accept any shit given by the moneyed.
June’s done, and – sadly – for so many members of the LGBTQIA community, “Pride” is also done for the year, as they await next year’s hopefully bigger “Pride”. So – with this limited way of looking at “Pride” (i.e. that it’s a one-day, or even one-month “party” with realistic – though at times also only pretend – calls to support those who can’t join the party) – the end of the so-called “Pride month”/start of July is also a good time to assess how we’ve been marking “Pride” in the past years.
Yes, I’ve attended numerous “Pride” celebrations from all over the world – some of them full-blown festivals, some of them one-day gatherings, though all of them topped by “marches” or “parades”. In a gist, they’ve all been celebratory, yes (and who doesn’t like to party now and then, right?). But their approaches are often very different/defined because of their intent. The way I see it, the overarching distinction is when “Pride” ceases to be about… “us”, and more about “them”; when it can be said that we’ve been (in a word) bought.
So in my assessment (and yes, knowing that this won’t be to everyone’s liking), here are eight ways to know when we’ve sold “Pride”.
1. When sponsors outnumber the LGBTQIA people.
I’ve witnessed “Pride” events with contingents from sponsors easily outnumbering LGBTQIA participants. Or – to qualify that – participants who were only able to join the parade because they paid to be in that parade. I’m not sure this is Pride; more like co-opting (or even hi-jacking) it.
2. When sponsors get to decide the form of “Pride”.
Yeah, money matters in this world. But when earning the same becomes the sole driver of holding an event, then we’re fucked. In the case of “Pride”, the moment the sponsors get to decide who “leads” the event because they gave so much money, then we’re double fucked. Because this is the sure sign we’re willing to eat our so-called pride and accept any shit given to us as long as we get money for it.
3. When organizers speak of minorities in the LGBTQIA community, but then you don’t see these minorities in the “Pride” celebration.
Yes, bringing up the interconnected issues is admirable; but if you stop there, then that inaction speaks more about the real intent. This could well be co-opting/hi-jacking of another minority group’s struggle.
4. Related to #3, when organizers claim to be “inclusive” of minorities in the LGBTQIA community, but then won’t allow these minorities to speak about their own issues during “Pride”.
I’ve attended a “Pride” event where sex workers (among others) were not allowed to speak during a program because, according to the organizers, of “time constraints”. However, politicians were allowed to use that “Pride” to campaign because they gave financial support and, well, they’re allegedly/supposedly politically aligned with these organizers or were popular. Then there are other “Pride” events where organizers spoke on behalf of/for minorities even with ACTUAL minority LGBTQIA people right there only watching their community being discussed seemingly in spite of them. For me: Just give them the mike. Else it reeks of co-opting/hi-jacking.
5. When organizers enable the abusers because they’re popular/useful as “partners”/et cetera.
There are actually “partners” whose alleged dirts are ignored by “Pride” organizers – e.g. biz owners with members of the LGBTQIA community accusing them of abusing them. In the era of #MeToo, they – therefore – become enablers.
6. When organizers use speakers no matter their wrong notions on LGBTQIA so long as they’re popular/known/cheap/et cetera.
In Metro Manila’s latest “Pride” gathering, a trans host actually said that she’s a “real woman” because she now has a vagina. I don’t know if she even considered her insinuation that post-op (or non-op) trans people are therefore not “real”. There were also hosts who kept calling trans men “tibo” (i.e. lesbian) and “tomboy”; just as they kept referring to lesbian women as “tomboy”. SOGIE 101 lessons can easily remedy this, yes; but those in “power” ought to teach these people before giving them the mike (!).
7. When “Pride” accountability flies out of the window.
All over the world, I’ve seen LGBTQIA community infighting because of handling of “Pride” profit – e.g. where’s the money earned, who handles it, how the extra is handled, and so on. Heck, New York has a number of counter-Pride events because of the commercialization of Manhattan’s “Pride”!
Considering that, in 2013, a Pride event was held in the City of Manila with approximately only P5,000, so this money talk nowadays highlights points 1 and 2…
8. When the organizers claim that “‘Pride’ is not a one-day event” and then you don’t see them at all the entire year (to help gather the ranks to fight for the LGBTQIA community’s other needs, from legislation protecting our human rights to joining the picket lines of LGBTQIA people dismissed from their work due to illegal employment practices) as they’d only really surface again in June next year, and in June again the year after that.
While attending L.A. Pride! last June, I was “warned” to lower my “political expectation”; it’s really just one big party there. I suppose this “honesty” is – well – refreshing because then, we know what to expect when going there. This “approach” also “broke” the “Pride” in Toronto, with the “big” parade separated from the “Dyke March” and the “trans march”. And sans these delineations, our expectation re “Pride” becomes idealistic – i.e. that it’s one “fight for equality”, when really, it always isn’t. Because – let’s be blunt about this; and considering the number and iterations of “Pride” celebrations all over the world now – for some, “Pride” can be and is being sold…
How L.A Pride! made me ask ‘Whose Pride?’…
In L.A., I’d say, yes, come to party. In fact, as far as partying goes, this one ROCKS… big time. Particularly if you have the budget. But just as I was told, temper your expectations/idealism. Because if you don’t, you’d end up just seeing the cracks in the rainbow…
This is a very, very tricky “position”.
On the one hand, it highlights a truth – i.e. that the way we observe “Pride” is very personal. It isn’t the same for everyone (and it shouldn’t be); and no matter the way we observe it, all our ways of celebrating are “valid”.
But on the other hand, this also sounds… like an excuse. Like a (lame) justification of what “Pride” has become; no longer a struggle, but as just a (mere) party. We’re not talking of the merging of the two; just the dominance of the latter (i.e. party part). And we explain this not necessarily by reconsidering the roots of “Pride”; but by excusing what it has become.
And so welcome to LA Pride!, one of the “shining” beacons of what “Pride” all over the world has become…
THE OFFICIAL ‘POSITION’
LA Pride!’s organizers are upfront about the annual gathering’s raison d’être: “Pride means different things to different people. It’s about being proud to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community; standing up for equality and human rights; being role models for younger generations; and, for many, it’s about simply looking forward to an annual celebration where we put our differences aside and stand together as one community…
“It’s not our role to tell you how to feel or how to act or how to believe during Pride. Your experience of Pride is completely up to you – and that’s a beautiful thing. However, we want you to feel empowered. We want to encourage you to find, embody, share, express, and celebrate what Pride authentically means to you. All in your own unique way.”
Yes… that is fair enough…
BUT WHERE’S THE STRUGGLE?
I am as pro-party as the next gay guy, don’t get me wrong. But if partying is – inadvertently – the end goal of the LGBTQIA struggle, are we really on the same boat here?
“It’s not exactly political,” a Filipino friend who is now based in L.A. told me weeks before L.A. Pride! “It’s just one big party, really.”
I had to – I was told – “temper your (political) expectations.” This was the “only way I can appreciate it… by seeing it using the ‘party lens’.”
And so – on June 10, we headed to West Hollywood, L.A.’s largely accepted “gay area” (a day after the “Pride festival” officially started).
Yep, the dykes on bikes still led the parade. This is good representation, yes; though – let’s cut the crap here – really just a token (if not symbolic) role given to lesbians/women to “lead” the annual parade because of their continuing invisibility even within the LGBTQIA community.
Yep, there are “political” groups/messages – e.g. #BlackLivesMatter, and those highlighting how LGBTQI youth are largely affected by homelessness. But that many had to (also) strip for their causes to be listened to doesn’t reflect well on our lookism society…
Yep, many of the “regulars” that helped strengthen the LGBTQIA community were there – e.g. progressive faith-based organizations, HIV and AIDS groups, and so on. But almost always sandwiched between the plethora of the the privileged White, middle-class and/or rich, able-bodied, cisgender gay men, I’d say discussions on “representation versus tokenism” really have to be revisited…
And then there were the sponsors – i.e. them who supposedly “make Pride happen” because they fund it (e.g. banks, alcoholic beverages), easily equating “Pride” with “money”…
“Turn around,” the Filipino friend who accompanied me said, pointing me to the people on the street parallel to where the parade was happening. There, more of what makes our community “diverse” can be found – e.g. a gay man with his elderly mother who’s on a wheelchair, queer people proudly expressing their queerness, LGBTQIA couples, et cetera. “Mas interesting pa sa likod (Watching these people is more interesting),” the friend laughed.
In L.A. Pride!, there is no program held after the parade. Instead, most of the festival revelers “gather” in an enclosed area (access is from $30, reaching to over $200 if you want backstage pass). And inside this area, the partying continues…
There are four stages (with DJs) inside; all of these stages were paid for by sponsors (e.g. MAC). In spots all over the enclosed area, there are stalls selling drinks – e.g. if a glass of beer can be bought for less than $5 outside, here, it’s well over $10. Let’s cut the crap and call this for what it is: Money-making dressed in the rainbow…
Perhaps I’m just… grumpy?
Maybe I’m just growing old(er)?
Or I’m really just out-of touch?
Call me those, I honestly don’t care.
Because I suppose I am not ‘there’ yet. That is: I am not yet fully sold to this “new(er)” concept of what “Pride” has become/is fast becoming…
We have this grand idea of the “movement” that was started in the West (US in particular); and how we should “emulate”/work towards following their footsteps; et cetera…
And this (apparently wanton) over-emphasis on “celebrate” versus “struggle” is becoming a “norm” almost everywhere. Fuck the pretenses, we seem to be told, it really is just one big ball/party…
Get this: Last year, in Marikina City for Metro Manila’s Pride parade, two sponsors actually bickered on who should lead the parade, citing the amount given as reason on the “right” to do so. The actual LGBTQIA groups that were there had to wait for their turn to join the parade until the moneyed could decide who deserved more to be in that parade…
And for years now, we’ve been able to raise over half a million pesos every year for a one-day parade (give or take a handful of events promoting this parade, and then for the after-parade parties of the organizers); but we can’t even raise 10% of that amount to, among others: 1. help homeless senior LGBTQIA people find (more permanent) housing; 2. help feed LGBTQIA people also affected by contractualization in the picket lines after they were illegally removed from their jobs by opportunistic corporations; 3. establish a legal service to help particularly LGBTQIA people inadvertently affected by Duterte’s anti-tambay policy; et cetera.
We used to say “no Pride until all of us have Pride” and/or “none of us is free until all of us are free”. Well, this new(er) and more individualistic “idea” seems to be saying: Fuck your Pride; I already have mine.
If this is the future of “Pride”, then really, hindi na dugo at pawis ang puhunan ng Pride ngayon, pera na.
And I’m not sure this is the Pride we all really want to be part of…
Back in L.A., I’d say, yes, come to party.
In fact, as far as partying goes, this one ROCKS… big time. Particularly if you have the budget.
But just as I was told, temper your expectations/idealism. Because if you don’t, you’d end up just seeing the cracks in the rainbow…
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