Tam Maguad and AR Arcon: Love knows no limits

The first time transwoman Tam Maguad and transman AR Arcon saw each other was in February 2012, in one of the events organized by STRAP. For Tam, “basically, it was just a meeting between the two groups, nothing more than that. I didn't even remember him then after the event,” she laughed. For AR, though, “the memory is still as vivid as the moment it was made. She entered the door, late, simply gorgeous in shorts and plain white shirt.” The two eventually became an item.

Tam and AR

The first time transwoman Tam Maguad and transman AR Arcon saw each other was in February 2012, in one of the events organized by the Society of Transsexual Women of the Philippines (STRAP). Tam is a STRAP member, while AR is part of PinoyFTM, which was invited by STRAP

For Tam, “basically, it was just a meeting between the two groups, nothing more than that. I didn’t even remember him then after the event since they had lots of members,” she laughed.

For AR, though, “the memory is still as vivid as the moment it was made. She entered the door, late, simply gorgeous in shorts and plain white shirt.” But AR said that “I didn’t get to actually meet her there (STRAP’s event). She was introduced as she came in, but that whole evening, we never got the chance to talk, me and her. Or I didn’t took the chance to even say hi (torpe problems).”

The two met each other again on various occasions a few months after that, but it was always in a group setting. And in those instances, when they managed to chat, all we talked about (were) trans stuff.”

And then in November 2012, Tam invited AR to watch Twilight – it was a random invite, with Tam having a ticket to spare.

“I am no Twilight fan. I got myself a copy of the book which I didn’t even finish reading. I have also seen the first movie. The novel was a big hit to the world, but not that much to me,” said AR, who – not surprisingly – initially had to say no because of a prior planned activity. “Then I realized: ‘Did i just turn down a woman? Ang kapal ng mukha ko. Baka isumpa na ako ng Tadhana at maging single habambuhay.’ So I told her, I would go.”

Life changed after that.

“We decided to see the finale of this vampire love story, not knowing it would be the beginning of ours,” Tam said.

“After that night, I’m still not a Twilight fan, but my life was never the same again,” AR said..

In November 2012, Tam invited AR to watch Twilight – it was a random invite, with Tam having a ticket to spare. “I am no Twilight fan. I got myself a copy of the book which i didn't even finish reading. I have also seen the first movie. The novel was a big hit to the world, but not that much to me,” said AR, who – not surprisingly – initially had to say no because of a prior planned activity. “Then I realized: ‘Did i just turn down a woman? Ang kapal ng mukha ko. Baka isumpa na ako ng Tadhana at maging single habambuhay.’ So I told her, I would go.”

In November 2012, Tam invited AR to watch Twilight – it was a random invite, with Tam having a ticket to spare. “I am no Twilight fan. I got myself a copy of the book which i didn’t even finish reading. I have also seen the first movie. The novel was a big hit to the world, but not that much to me,” said AR, who – not surprisingly – initially had to say no because of a prior planned activity. “Then I realized: ‘Did i just turn down a woman? Ang kapal ng mukha ko. Baka isumpa na ako ng Tadhana at maging single habambuhay.’ So I told her, I would go.”

FALLING IN LOVE

The going out became a weekly habit for the two. “From the movie night to the 2012 Pride March, to an out-of-town trip with common friends, then Christmas, then New Year,” AR said. At that point, “our friends started asking, and so did I: What are we?”

But Tam made it clear then, that they were just friends who were hanging out. “And that if feelings begin to sprout, we will stop seeing each other. So yeah, the whole of January 2013, became exactly like that,” AR continued. “I know it was impossible for me not to develop a thing for her since I already liked her the first time I saw her; plus the fact that we were seeing each other every single weekend. So when I felt ‘it’, I hid it because i didn’t want to stop seeing her.”

By February 2013, “we were riding this Ferris wheel in a town fiesta in Bulacan, and as I sat beside this woman whom everyone thinks of as suplada, mataray and masungit, I knew I have already fallen.”

AR’s Facebook status for Valentine’s Day said as much.

“Falling in love with a transwoman was one thing I never thought of. I was caught off guard. Inevitable in my case for she is so wonderful. This has defied all of my standards in a relationship. Falling in love with a transwoman has opened my eyes much wider to the other side of the spectrum. It has taught me more of things that fueled my call for advocacy. And has gained me back my old romantic self. I am thankful. My only hope is that she falls for me too.”

Tam eventually recapitulated, “saying the ‘L word’ around the last week of March,” she smiled.

TWO-GETHERNESS

Being in a “gender non-conforming relationship” may be challenging, but Tam said that “I haven’t really encountered any challenges because of us being ‘gender non-conforming’ to be honest. The main challenges I have would probably be personal ones that don’t have anything to do with that,” she said.

For AR, an obstacle is his being “in a religion that does not allow this kind of relationship. Ideally, I would opt to have a win-win situation; that is what I’m working on.”

There are no concrete plans for the future just yet, said Tam (though AR said that in March 2013, “I asked her if she would wanna marry me one day, and she said yes,” he beamed), but “I think that as time goes by, we’ll have more plans together,” Tam said.

For now, they’re working on what they have.

“The best thing for me in this relationship? I guess it’s finding someone my parents seem to be okay with,” Tam said. .

As for AR, “she is totally the opposite of myself. Not because I’m a man and she’s a woman, but because she has the qualities that complement what I have. One time, we took a compass personality test, she resulted to a North West, and I, a south East. She told me, ‘See, we are completely different, we ‘re not a match’. I told her: ‘That is the reason why they call it the better half’.”

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

HELP US BY HELPING YOU

April 2007 marked the launching of Outrage Magazine, the only Webzine made for, and by members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in the Philippines.

The LGBTzine remains loyal to the reasons of its existence (i.e. to be a relevant source of info on everything LGBT-related in the Philippines), and we are proud to say that year-on-year since we were established, Outrage Magazine’s scope has broadened. Aside from the coverage we provide, we actually have programs effecting changes to better the plight of LGBT Filipinos.

No surprise that our reach continues to grow, too, with our Website alone now getting well over 1.3 MILLION hits per month on average (with approximately 15,000 of them unique hits), while our Facebook page (not counting our other online presence) getting over hundreds of thousands of unique visits per week.

Yes, there is a need for information; and yes, we’re more than willing to provide.

THERE ARE TWO WAYS YOU CAN HELP US HELP THE LGBT COMMUNITY.

On the one hand, WE OFFER AD SPACES.

And just in time, too, as pink lifestyle long invading mainstream living – think Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, or IKEA, or gay speak, or disco, or brunch, or My Husband's Lover, or... you get the point.

This makes the LGBT market, and those it affects, a goldmine for advertisers.

Consider these:
• 81% of LGBTs are more likely to use the Internet to obtain information about goods and services (Witeck-Combs)
• 72% to 94% of LGBTs prefer to buy brands that market directly to them (Harris/Witeck-Combs &Greenfield Online)
• 89% of LGBTs are brand-affiliated, this means that it is “most likely or highly likely to actively seek out brands that had advertised in gay media” (Simmons)
• LGBTs spend an average of 30 minutes per day, 12 times per month online (Nielsen NetRatings)
• LGBTs are twice as likely to be in management positions, twice as likely to have purchased online using a credit card, 79% are willing to pay a premium of quality products and services, 94% of gays and lesbians go out of their way to purchase products and services marketed directly to them in gay media, and 79% of LGBTs are highly likely to indulge themselves (@Plan, Simmons, Greenfield Online & Witeck-Combs)

It is time to target this market, we say.

So use us.

Abuse us, even.

This is the only time we will gladly let you.

Contact: advertise@outragemag.com.

On the other hand, HELP US HELP OTHERS. DONATE.

Because with your help, we can make a change.