Despite the mainstream media suggesting that the Filipino society has accepted gay people, homophobia remains a real issue faced by queer Filipinos. The church endorses it, though it denies it does. Some say they have good intentions. Others are blatant gay haters. And so let’s look at the different faces of homophobia in one of the most “gay-friendly” countries in the world.
- The loud and proud gay hater. We all know this one. And we all hate him. Yes, he is usually a guy, that annoying straight-ish bully who picks on every queer fella he sees. Sometimes he’s with equally annoying turds who mock quiet, innocent gay teens on the streets. They yell slurs like “bayot,” “bakla,” or “mga bayot ilansang sa krus.” Do I have to explain why these slurs are homophobic?
- The irksome mimic. If you’re gay, you probably know a guy who mocks you in the corridors. He attempts to imitate the flicking of your hands or the swaying of your hips. He imitates your flamboyant speech. And he’s just downright annoying. You want him to stay away, but he pursues you and taunts all along until he realizes you’re just ignoring him.
- The delusional prey wannabe. So you have this guy who thinks he’s hot enough for gay men. He thinks every gay guy who looks at him is out to unzip his fly and play with his prick. You wonder whether his paranoia exists so because he thinks gay guys are looking at him the same way he leers at girls. Of course, if he’s ugly, his delusions of being preyed on are twice cringe worthy.
- The avoidant. Now there’s also a guy who you’re not sure whether he’s shy or scared of you. He looks at you like you’re a gargantuan mumps virus, if he looks at you at all, but the disdain may be subdued, controlled, or understated. He doesn’t talk too much, if he talks to you at all. He makes you feel like you have a contagious disease or you’re the contagion. Next thing you know, perhaps after 3 or so years, he’s on Grindr or some other place of that sort.
- The femmephobe. This could also be the previous, but this one is more specific. Basically, he’s a discreet gay guy who thinks he can pass for a straight guy. He hates flamboyant and feminine queer guys. He doesn’t hang out with them because he’s scared he’d be identified as one of them. As much as we dislike this one, we also dislike the next.
- The bitchy femme. Now this one is the enemy of the previous. He’s the out and proud finger flicker, the boisterous sista who calls out and picks on gay lads who they deem aren’t queer enough. They want every gay guy to be as feminine as they are. They don’t value diversity within our queer community, and they like every gay boy to subscribe to their stereotype.
Yeah, you can be gay and homophobic. The fifth and sixth types of homophobes are those that eat into the queer community and widen the gap between micro-communities that are supposed to come together and appreciate each other’s differences.
- The religious freak. You know that Leviticus fanatic who insists that God will burn you in the fiery pit because you’re swooning over Brad Pitt? They’re everywhere. They’re proud of their convictions. To them condemning homosexuality is a lifelong commitment to their homophobic version of God. They take pride in pointing out that the gay lifestyle is immoral. Who knows what the gay lifestyle is?
He may be that acerbic guy who brandishes his religion in front of gay men. He gives unsolicited religious advice. He preaches without being asked to. He’s obnoxious. And when you call him out for his anti-gay rants, you become the bigot.
- The naturalist. They claim their aversion to homosexuality isn’t religion-based. They claim that everyone was born straight, so they’re supposed to be straight. Men are supposed to be with women for purposes of mating. Or so they maintain. They don’t like you being gay because you’re supposed to be getting laid with a woman and making kids. To them you’re a breeding machine designed to help spawn the future breeding progeny.
- The liar. She says she’s friends with gay guys and that she likes them, but her homophobia becomes quite obvious during certain occasions. She doesn’t like them to date guys or have sex with guys. She’s against same sex unions. So while she and her boyfriend can sleep on the same bed, she doesn’t want her gay pals to enjoy the same benefit. You can’t claim you’re friends with your gay stylist and swear that his identity is a lie from the devil.
- The hypocrite. This may well be number 7 guy, but the thing is, he can’t practice what he preaches. He talks about morality and calls out gay people for being immoral, but you know, he has illicit affairs. An equally funny thing is that he forgets or maybe doesn’t know that God doesn’t like fornicators. Unlike the prudish number 7, this one is known for screwing his girlfriends or having extra-marital affairs. So his anti-gay rants make him sound ridiculous.
- The converter. This one is most likely a religious pundit who insists that gay men can be cured by prayers or by any other means they claim to be effective. Their source of reliable information? FRC! Enough said.
- The pervert. This lewd guy can’t help but think of gay sex every time he sees gay couples. You wonder how he knew much about fellatio or anal intercourse. He says everyone talks about it. You can’t help but think maybe he watches gay porn. But supposing we give him the benefit of the doubt, why then should we allow him to reduce gay relationships to mere gay sex? This guy demonizes same-sex relationships as if they revolve around anal and oral sex.
- The petty whiner. The whiner plays the victim and reports they were once assaulted or ridiculed by queer folks and so their aversion is valid. And because a few gay blokes wronged them before thus invalidates the gay rights advocacy. These punks forgot that while they might have fallen victim to such misbehavior, the bullying and injustice suffered by queer and transgender folks from their side are much more severe.
I once argued with a whiner who implied that the LGBT advocacy was a whole bunch of crap because his lesbian mom had abandoned them for a woman. Though his frustration towards his mom’s irresponsibility might have been valid, his general hatred towards the queer community was not.
- The denier. This may be any of the above as well, may be the same person as the liar, except that they may not like queer folks. But they maintain they’re no homophobe because they’re not scared of gay people. They just don’t like them. They love the sinner but hate the sin. They like queer folks but don’t like their queerness. They like them but don’t want them to have “special” rights. The idiocy and dishonesty are hilarious.
- The ignorant “know-it-all”. Occasionally, you come across an expert in queer studies. He claims that gay men secretly want to be women because they want to take peckers up their asses. They are men who want to have vaginas. Or so this type of homophobe misconceives. This is the same moron who thinks transgender girls are gays. You can’t reason with them because they’re self-proclaimed experts in biology and genetics.
Are you a homophobe? You can be any of the above or a combination of two or more.