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23.9% believe that love is blind; 38.1% would only date if sex is on the table – survey

23.9% of people believe that love is blind, saying they also don’t need sex to be romantically involved with someone. But 38.1% say they would not date someone without having sex with them.

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‘Love Is Blind’ and ‘Married at First Sight’ are popular TV shows that have dominated viewing schedules throughout 2023 with people obsessed with watching these experiments unfold, wanting to know if they really work. But beyond this, according to JOYclub, an online adult community with over five million members, these popular series “actually highlight a number of thought-provoking questions surrounding love, sex, and intimacy.”

JOYclub conducted a survey among its members to get insights into how people “genuinely feel about blind love, intimacy, and sexual attraction.” And some of the findings include:

  • 23.9% of people believe that love is blind, saying they also don’t need sex to be romantically involved with someone.
    “Some people do prioritise things other than sex when forming a spousal or romantic bond. There might be many reasons why this is the case, including the possibility of people identifying as being on the ace/aro spectrum of sexuality,” said Lara – also known as Divine Theratrix – a kink facilitator and qualified counsellor from JOYclub. “What’s important is that you find someone who shares your priorities. If you both place more significance on other things, this will lay great foundations for a relationship. It’s crucial that you’re on the same page.”
  • 38.1% say they would not date someone without having sex with them.
    When watching ‘Married at First Sight’, contestants who walk down the aisle may be heard saying: “I want there to be a spark, I hope I fancy them!”. In truth, “they haven’t met yet, let alone had sex, so there’s no guarantee partners will have a strong intimate connection. While some people can fall in love without having sex, this begs one question; would you marry someone you’d never had sex with?” JOYclub asked.
  • 11.5% of respondents would propose to someone they hadn’t had sex with. However, only 7.1% would marry someone in this circumstance. Meaning, “the vast majority of people clearly want to get intimate before tying the knot,” JOYclub stated.
  • 68.1% would have sex with someone in a dark room, having never seen them. “Seemingly, when it comes to spontaneous nights of fun between the sheets, physical attraction isn’t always our top priority,” JOYclub stated. “Per this data, we are much more willing, on average, to have sex blindly than fall in love blindly.”

For Lara, sex remains important to most people. “It’s so important, in fact, that 68.1% of people say they would have sex with someone they’d met in a dark room and therefore never seen. This shows that for many, sex is an activity we can enjoy without being emotionally involved or having an opinion on the likeability of the person we’re having sex with.”

“This data also suggests that we’re more willing to have sex blindly than fall in love blindly. For many people, sex isn’t a commitment, so there’s less to lose. Again, this all comes down to your priorities and values. So long as you and your partner(s) are on the same page, you’ll be fine.”


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