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5 Secrets of good communication with your ex-spouse if you have children

Getting divorced, the two people cease to be husband and wife for each other, but it must not be forgotten that for a child, they remain to be mom and dad. They remain to be parents forever.



With a divorce, in a family where there are children, often a change of roles occurs. In a conjugal family, there are specific, clear roles (i.e. mom, dad and child), but then after a divorce, the roles change, so that everybody could get confused. For instance, if dad starts living separately from everyone, mom may put him in the position of not the father, but the older brother – like: “Go, take a walk, look after the baby.” Then there’s the “weekend dad” who may entertain the child, but in the eyes of the mother, does not bear almost any responsibility for the kid; and that’s bad.

According to OnlineDivorce statistics, more often, such a change of roles is initiated by the women, who still are more often awarded primary custody than their ex-spouses. So, unfortunately, women often consciously provide unnecessarily tough conditions regarding father’s communication with children. They usually give their former husbands a child only for a particular time (an hour or two, only once or twice a week), and only for entertainment. Men are still quite often denied the right to continually take care of the children, to seriously engage in their education, or their moral and cultural development.

There are several reasons for this.

First, severe restrictions for communication between father and child sometimes act as a variant of the influence, even manipulation. That is, in some cases, such humiliation of the ex-husband, who is obliged to comply with some certain rules, satisfies the wife’s thirst for revenge.

But at the same time, the removal of the former spouse from close contact with the child may also be due to a far more reasonable cause. In cases where one of the parents is an abuser or addicted to alcohol, drugs, et cetera, it is clear that the other parent with whom the child remains loses confidence in such a person, and tries to protect the son or daughter.

However, in such cases, even the court claims that contact with this parent can be harmful and is not in the best interest of the child. These are cases when sole custody (both physical and legal) can be awarded.

In other situations, regardless of the personal issues of the former spouses, it is considered that communication with both parents is essential for the child, which means parents must learn to negotiate and cooperate even after the marriage is dissolved.

Parental Alliance: How to Minimize the Effects of Divorce on Children

Divorce is a sad phenomenon. When love, or that the husband and wife considered love, leaves, then for the spouses and their children, there comes a challenging time. Not a single child can be happy when his father and mother stop loving each other and break up. This must be realized always when you are on the verge of a divorce, and that you may want to consider to stop it.

But if the spouses have already split up, then it is essential to avoid the confusing concepts in thoughts, words and deeds. Getting divorced, the two people cease to be husband and wife for each other, but it must not be forgotten that for a child, they remain to be mom and dad. They remain to be parents forever.

Realizing this fact, not being spouses, the parents continue to be partners in matters of raising the child. And no matter who has physical custody of the child, the father and mother are equally responsible for the kid’s future.

Very often, parents are well aware that it is necessary for a child to communicate with both dad and mom. But they do not understand such an important thing for the healthy, full-fledged personal development of the child, it is equally important that the parents communicate with each other about the child. That is what can be called parental alliance.

Responsible divorced spouses with children, when building new relationships after breaking up, do not think about themselves, about their own ambitions, benefits, feelings, but about the welfare of their children. 

According to GoodTherapy, such a breakdown of the relationship between parents, when they refuse to cooperate and to create a joint parental strategy, is extremely harmful to the child’s mental health. The consequences may be reflected in his behavior, in the violation of mental functions, such as attention, memory, perception and communication skills.

So, whether there is an amicable relationship between you and your ex right now or not, you can learn step by step how to make things right for the sake of your child.

Tips For Good Communication

Realize, understand, remember: “I am in charge of the psyche and happy life of my child.” The way your child’s relationship with the other parent develops is also your will and responsibility. If your ex is not interested enough to maintain a healthy relationship and communication with the child, then you can also inspire and form this communication and relationship yourself. As for non-custodial fathers, not all dads know and understand how to behave with a child and ex-wife right after a divorce. The ex-husband himself may be shocked and do not know what to do.

So, whether there is an amicable relationship between you and your ex right now or not, you can learn step by step how to make things right for the sake of your child.

Here are a few tips of good communication which should help you.

1. Leave behind all your grudge against your ex, the words left unsaid, and self-absorption.

All communication with the former spouse after the divorce is only about your child, and nothing more. You can’t stop resenting your spouse? Go to a psychologist with this problem, just as you would go to the dentist with a toothache.

2. Decide how you see the future relationship of the child and another parent.

The child needs to feel that mom and dad do not blame him for divorce. Also, do not say bad things against your ex in front of the kid. Unfortunately, this is the most frequent parents’ mistake, but a child in no case should think that he must take sides.

3. Think of what is the purpose of your communication with the former spouse and stick to it clearly, acting within the borders.

For example, “I communicate with my ex-spouse because…

  • I want the child to know that he still has a father (mother) who loves him and has not disappeared, but has only changed his/her geographical position.
  • I want the ex and child to communicate at any time, and for this, we need to coordinate the schedule and trust each other.
  • I want the child’s dad (mom) to be well-informed about the kid’s life…” and so on.

4. Your ex should make sure that your communication is safe for him/her, and that your messages do not have a dirty trick in the form of a desire to control his/her life.

If the spouse does not call, start chatting via messenger about how the kid is. The short text may just be like: “The son is fine, he sends you regards. Call him later” is quite enough. Leave behind the rantings, do not blame, do not ask questions about how he is, or how can he even sleep, if he doesn’t even know what’s going on with the child, et cetera.

The purpose of these messages is “the child should know that the dad/mom is aware of his life,” and not a demonstration of your offense or an attempt to manipulate. You create a connection between the child and his parent, and that’s it.

Your ex should get used to the fact that the news about the child is exactly the news about the child; that the dialogue will not end with reproach or claim.

5. Make a well-detailed parenting plan and follow it.

Do not rush while preparing a parenting agreement in a divorce. Parenting plan is a necessary arrangement which may significantly ease your future life. Even if you prefer a DIY divorce or online divorce option, do not spare money for divorce mediator who can help to make a really working and mutually beneficial parenting agreement. In addition to custody issues and establishing of the visitation schedule, this arrangement may cover any subject you wish. Rather strict but a real method to avoid a lot of disputes and misunderstandings in the future.

Lifestyle & Culture

Self-care tips when you are too busy for self-care

Even if you don’t have time for self-care as you traditionally think about it, here are some ways that you can fit it into your already busy day.



We live in such a fast-paced world with so much pressure to never make a mistake and make everything look effortless that we feel like we do not have time for self-care even though it is more important now than ever. Mental health is vitally important if you are going to be successful anywhere else in your life, so it is time to take steps to prioritize it.

Photo by JD Mason from

Even if you don’t have time for self-care as you traditionally think about it, here are some ways that you can fit it into your already busy day. 


Whenever you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious, take a minute to think about how you are breathing. It will only take a few seconds, but it can drastically change the way you feel. Close your eyes if possible, and breathe in as deeply as you can. Feel the air fill up your lungs and stomach and lift your heart up towards the sky. As you breathe out, feel the warm air leave your body and relax your shoulders down with your breath. 

Doing this a couple of times will clear your mind and relieve tension in your body. As you develop a habit of doing this throughout the day, it will become a reflex, and you will become more aware of when you are holding stress in your body. 


It matters what you eat. Even if you are busy, you can eat well. It may seem easier to grab something that is unhealthy, but if you train yourself to look for the healthy, it can become just as easy to feed your body what it needs to stay strong. 

Even if you don’t want to change what you are eating, you can change how you are eating. Taking five extra minutes to take smaller bites and chew more mindfully can help you relax and will focus your body on digesting your food properly. 

Outsource Your Self-Care

You can also outsource some of your self-care to make it even easier. Subscription boxes like a smoking subscription box, candle subscription box, bath subscription box, or many others will take all the thought out of how to deal with your self-care. You can sign up for the subscription, and a box will show up at your house and instruct you on how to take a little time for yourself. 


We all know physical exercise is important to take care of your body, but sometimes there is not enough time to get in a really great workout. If you feel like you need to add some extra physical activity to your day, try adding in some stretches at regular intervals. Standing up from your computer and raising your arms above your head and then folding down to touch the ground can help you loosen up your body. You can also relieve tension by shrugging your shoulders, rotating your head to stretch your neck, and stretching out other areas of your body where you hold tension or stress. It only takes a couple of minutes and will help you feel so much better.

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5 Essential LGBT travel tips

While many global communities now support LGBT travelers, some places are lagging behind. It’s important to know the culture of the country you’re traveling to avoid awkwardness or worse.



The world may be shut down at the moment due to pandemic safety fears, but some places are still open for business. If you’re an LGBT person looking to travel in the near future, you might want to consider the travel safety tips listed below.


While many global communities now support LGBT travelers, some places are lagging behind. It’s important to know the culture of the country you’re traveling to avoid awkwardness or worse. 

Do your research 

Hopefully, you are living in a modern country that supports civil partnerships and LGBT rights. The world has come a long way in this respect, particularly within the last decade. However, not every country is as keen on progressive cultures, and it can still be dangerous to travel to certain places as an LGBT person or couple. Do your research before traveling and make sure homosexuality is not illegal or looked on with disdain. If you need help saving for a trip abroad, check out Pigly.Com for financial advice. 

Use discretion 

The world is not always as accommodating as the place you choose to live. In some countries, same-sex affection is looked down on and could be dangerous in some cases. You need to be aware of the prevailing cultural attitudes in the place you’re visiting and behave with discretion. While you may find this unfair and want to take a stand, you need to also be aware of the risks. Taking a stand in a culture, you’re familiar with is a whole lot safer. 

Know your rights 

In the USA and certain other western countries, there are laws that protect LGBT people. Transgender people, for instance, cannot be legally asked to remove prosthetics and binders. But this is not the case everywhere. In some places, even carrying condoms can be an offense. Knowing your rights for the country you’re traveling to allows you to act within the law and stand up for yourself where possible.

Support LGBT businesses 

Traveling can be awkward at times for LGBT people. Not everywhere is welcoming and set up to provide for LGBT couples. Furthermore, some places may be actively hostile. To avoid this, support hotels, airbnbs, and hostels who encourage LGBT visitors to stay. Thankfully there are a growing number of places that cater to LGBT travelers, such as EBAB and misterb&b. LGBT friendly accommodation will also provide tips and advice on the best local places to visit and how to navigate the city for LGBT people. 

Hook up with care 

If you are traveling single, you might want to hook up on holiday. There are many apps that allow you to do this with a relative degree of care and certainty. However, you must know the risks and take extra care. In some places, the apps are monitored by authorities and can land you in trouble. There are also instances of people using the apps to rob people or take advantage of them. Take extra care when on these apps and use your best judgment.

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Lifestyle & Culture

What to do when your company’s reputation is in the gutter

Whatever the case may be, saving your reputation is still possible. Here are just a few steps for rebuilding a damaged reputation.



A poor reputation isn’t good for business. Attracting customers could be a struggle (or you may find that you’re attracting the wrong sort of customer). You may have been publicly shamed on social media, you may have lots of negative reviews or you may have garnered a bad reputation locally simply through word of mouth. It might have been one big mistake that tanked your reputation, or it could have been a gradual process.


Whatever the case may be, saving your reputation is still possible. Here are just a few steps for rebuilding a damaged reputation.

Publicly apologize

If your reputation has been destroyed by a single event, it’s important that you own up to your mistakes and publicly apologize immediately. You could post something on social media or email all customers that have been affected. Clear up any misunderstandings so that there are no false rumours still in circulation and be honest about the things you have done wrong. A public apology may not be necessary if it’s been a gradual slip in reputation, although you may still benefit from responding to individual negative reviews with apologies. This guide at Entrepreneur offers more tips on publicly apologizing. 

Consider a rebrand

To get rid of your bad image problem, it could be essential that you rebrand yourself. This will help to show consumers that you’re reinventing yourself and could convince them that you’ve turned over a new leaf. Changing your company name isn’t necessary (and could be seen as an attempt to hide your past), however you may want to consider changing your logo, redesigning your website and potentially refurbishing your premises. 

Hire a PR company

A PR company may be able to help you establish positive media coverage that could help to rebuild your reputation. This could be important if you’ve developed bad press that is putting off customers. There are PR companies out there such as Elite Lawyer Management that caters to specialised industries. Choosing a specialist PR company could ensure that you get a service specialised to you.

Utilize your happy customers

Not all your customers are likely to be complaining. You may still have some loyal customers that have stuck with you through thick and thin. Reward these customers so that you don’t end up losing them too – this could involve giving them exclusive discounts or other privileges. You can also ask them to leave positive reviews to try and outweigh some of the negative reviews that you may have developed. 

Exercise philanthropy

Acts of philanthropy may be able to make up for some of the wrong you’ve committed. You could start donating proceeds to charity or you could try to make efforts to embrace fair trade and sustainable methods. This could help to paint your company in a more positive light. 

Be patient

You cannot rebuild a damaged reputation overnight. It could take months – and even years – before you’re able to fully leave behind your past reputation. Slowly but surely you will be able to win people over again, providing that you don’t let any bad behaviours from the past resurface.

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Lifestyle & Culture

What to do after you find out an attorney won’t take your personal injury case

You aren’t doomed if the first attorney you talk to won’t take your case. From finding one who will to your mental and physical health, there are plenty of things you can do to get over your injury as fast as possible.



One of the first things you should do if you are injured due to someone else’s negligence is to contact an attorney. They can help you get the money you deserve to pay bills and maintain your quality of life so you can recover without worry.

Unfortunately, there’s no guarantee that an attorney will take your case. You may discover that your attorney isn’t willing to work with you.

Don’t let their decision keep you from moving forward in your life. Here’s what you should do in the days and months after your case is declined by your attorney.

Talk to a Different Attorney

Don’t assume that because the first attorney you approach won’t take your case that no attorney will take your case. It’s true that they might turn you down because your case isn’t very strong, but it could also be possible that they don’t have the expertise that is required to win your case, they may feel like there’s a conflict of interest, or they may simply not have enough time. It’s worth your time to search for a different attorney.

Plan to schedule consultations with one or two more lawyers to discuss your case. Even if your case is difficult, you may find that there’s an attorney out there who is willing to take it on. With extra support from an attorney, you’ll be glad you didn’t give up the first time you were told no.

Apply for Disability Benefits

Applying for short- or long-term disability benefits is one of the first things you should do if you are injured and are unable to return to work. The sooner you apply, the sooner you’ll get the money you need to continue paying your bills, whether you’re waiting for a settlement or you simply can’t return to work.

If you’re waiting for your first payment or you’re struggling even after you receive disability benefits, look into other government programs that can help. From specific programs that help you pay bills to rental assistance and food programs, there is a lot of help out there if you and your family need it.

Go to Your Medical Appointments

If you’re struggling to find the assistance you need, whether from an attorney or the government, it’s easy to let your medical appointments slide. If you can’t afford to pay the bills, you may tell yourself that you can’t afford to go to your medical appointments either.

It is so important to prioritize your health if you want to recover from your injury. Keep your appointments to the best of your ability. Bring up your concerns with your doctor if costs are a concern. They may be able to safely reduce the number of your appointments, or they may be able to refer you to resources or other doctors who can help.

Take Time for Your Mental Health

It’s normal for your mental health to take a dip if you’re dealing with an injury. Scheduling appointments with a therapist is a great option, but if you don’t have the time, the money, or the interest, there are plenty of things you can do to get through a tough time.

A few ideas include:

  • Write about it
  • Set aside dedicated worry time every day, then move on
  • Talk to friends and family
  • Start a new hobby
  • Spend time outdoors
  • Get some exercise

Find a New Way to Make Money

There are a lot of things to worry and think about when you’re dealing with a personal injury, but for many who are injured, providing for their family is one of the biggest concerns. If you’re having a hard time sitting at home and worrying about your struggling family, you’ll feel a lot better if you find a new way to make money.

There are many things you can do to make a little extra cash, and the Social Security Administration may even be willing to help you. Some part time jobs won’t affect the money you receive from your disability benefits, you can find free training programs and grants that will help you go back to school, or you can simply find quick and easy ways to make a few extra bucks from home.

You aren’t doomed if the first attorney you talk to won’t take your case. From finding one who will to your mental and physical health, there are plenty of things you can do to get over your injury as fast as possible.

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Lifestyle & Culture

Ways to keep yourself fresh and active

There are different ways to overcome laziness and exhaustion despite the amount of extensive workload one faces. Keeping yourself upbeat and productive is very important, but people do not realize that giving time to yourself is just as essential to maintaining a healthy and happy lifestyle.



With so much work pressure and a challenging routine at school, staying fresh is very hard. Keeping fresh in this fast-paced world is easier said than done. There are different ways to overcome laziness and exhaustion despite the amount of extensive workload one faces. Keeping yourself upbeat and productive is very important, but people do not realize that giving time to yourself is just as essential to maintaining a healthy and happy lifestyle. In the process of getting things done and trying to earn a living, regardless of how we feel, we do very little to keep ourselves happy. 

Maintaining your energy levels throughout the day is very hard (we know). We try everything from coffee to energy drinks, but nothing seems to work out perfectly. Maybe it’s the method that’s not right, or perhaps it’s just not for us; we will never know. However, we can try out different ways and choose the best one for us that suits our body well.

8 Simple Tips To Feel Fresh & Stay Active

Let’s discuss a few methods and learn how to stay active all day.

1. Get Some Sleep

Sleep is essential for everyone. Let it be adults or kids. Although kids and adults both require different hours of sleep. Adults need about seven to eight hours of sleep every night. Also, keep in mind that sleep quality matters a lot; it’s not just about the quantity. First of all, turn off your cell phone before going to bed and draw your curtains to block out the light beaming in from the street as light can stub your sleep. The human body rests better in a dark and cold environment. Secondly, turn on that fan or air condition. 

Sleep is your key to staying fresh and energetic all day. Lack of sleep can cause dark circles, which can make you look exhausted. Furthermore, avoid heavy meals before going to bed as your body may consume energy while digesting, and you may end up waking up very tired.

2. Start Your Day Off With Exercise

Make sure you work out before carrying out any other activity. People mostly workout after they are done with their day, but that is not the right way to carry out your activities. Working out after your school or office has ended can legit drain out the remaining energy, and it can result in exhaustion. However, working out early in the morning can refresh your mind and help you stay active throughout the day. 

Exercise is not only good for keeping you active and fresh during the day, but it is also very good for your skin and digestive system.

3. Brush Your Teeth

Brushing your teeth twice a day can help you stay active. That minty splash of fresh in your mouth wakes you up instantly. Besides that, who likes the feeling of a dirty breath? No one! Having an unpleasant breath can make the ones around you uncomfortable and make you feel shabby. 

Furthermore, having bad breath can lower down your confidence levels which may lead to an exhausted-looking face.

4. Don’t Forget To Hydrate

All the heat and sweating dries your skin like flowers under the sun, all withered and brown. It is recommended to consume at least eight water glasses per day (more if you can). Water not only energizes you and helps keep you stay active but also clears your skin out of all the oxidants and gives a natural glow. Furthermore, water is also proven very good for weight loss.

5. Limit Your Caffeine Intake

Coffee, sodas, energy drinks, and other caffeinated drinks are very efficient in providing you with an instant jolt of energy. However, in the long run, you’ll be more tired throughout the day. Caffeine does not have long-lasting effects. Therefore, after the effect wears off, you may crave some more caffeine. Thus, creating dependency. This can lead you to ride a constant low-high of energy, tiring you out much faster. Secondly, caffeine increases your stress levels, causes headaches, gives you the effect of feeling jittery, increases blood pressure, and makes it harder to relax and fall asleep.

6. Avoid Smoking

Not only is smoking cancerous and horrible for your mental and physical health, but it also makes you feel more tired throughout the day. Nicotine is an infamous stimulant, known to increase the blood pressure and heart rate of its users. Furthermore, it can cause insomnia in some individuals. 

7. Take a shower

Take a shower after working out or in the middle of the day, whenever you feel like it. Although, make sure you take a cold shower and not a hot one as a hot shower can make you feel sleepy, while a cold shower helps you wake up and makes you feel energized. Also, using fragmented soaps can help you feel more energized and active.

If you have a swimming pool, just dive when you have time and get energized. I mean, who wouldn’t want to jump in a pool or, better, A LAKE.

Showers should be your go-to if you want to stay fresh and active during summers.

8. Use Natural Supplements

Our bodies try very hard to sustain themselves without much external influence. However, it is our duty to provide them with all the nutrients they require. Similar to eating clean and healthy food to fuel our bodies properly, we require some supplements, vitamins, and minerals that help your body run at an optimum level.

Here’s a list of some of the vital natural supplement that can help your body increase its energy levels:

  • Kratom
    Kratom is loved by its users worldwide. They praise kratom for its magical abilities. Kratom can not only boost up your energy levels, but certain strains can also help relieve pain and anxiety. There are the white strains that are the most potent, and then there are the red strains that are low. 
    White strains are used to boost energy. There are different types of white strains, such as White Thai kratom, white Borneo kratom, etc.
    Kratom can be consumed in the form of tea, pills, or powder. The method of tea and pills you obviously understand, but you might be wondering, “what is kratom powder?” obviously, you all know what powder means, but you may not be able to understand how to consume it exactly; it’s easy! Use the toss and wash method or add it to your shakes etc.
  • Vitamin B12
    Vitamin B12 helps change the food you ingest into energy. It assists in keeping your body’s nerves and blood cells healthy. It also prevents a specific type of anemia that can make you tired and weak. Vitamin B12 can be found in various animal proteins such as fish, meat, and dairy products. It can also be ingested in the form of B12 supplements.
  • Iron 
    Your body requires iron to create hemoglobin, a protein found in the red blood cells that supply oxygen from your lungs to your organs and tissues in the entire body. Inadequate levels of iron make it difficult for the red blood cells to carry oxygen to the body’s tissues effectively. This causes iron deficiency anemia, which can leave you feeling weak and fatigued. Iron can be found in meat and seafood. You could also take iron supplements.
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Lifestyle & Culture

We all make mistakes; don’t punish yourself forever

When it comes to the mistakes that you have made, you cannot punish yourself forever. You need to find a way to let go of what you have done and find a way to move forward.



Let’s be honest, at one point or another we will all make a mistake. Some mistakes are minimal, like forgetting to pick up your dry cleaning or accidentally banging someone else’s car, but other mistakes are a little larger and more difficult to shake. The fact is that after making a mistake it is not always easy to move past it, is it? This is especially true if the mistake that you have made is a rather significant one.


After making a sizeable mistake, be it a mistake at work that’s cost your boss thousands of dollars, an accident that led to your child getting hurt, or something that meant you broke the law, it’s important to remember that you can’t punish yourself forever. Admittedly, after making a mistake you’re going to feel bad about it, but you cannot keep constantly blaming yourself. The fact is that we all make mistakes, and forgiving yourself is part of the process of moving forward.

Wondering what it takes not to want to punish yourself forever? Below are a few tips and pieces of advice for ways in which you can move past a mistake that you’ve made. 

Forgive yourself 

If the mistake that you’ve made is one that you never wanted to make and has had a serious impact on your life or the lives of others, it can be exceedingly difficult to forgive yourself. However, if you have any chance of being able to move your life forward, first you need to start working towards forgiving yourself. You need to remember that everyone makes mistakes – granted some mistakes are larger than others, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t come back from them. However, if you’re going to come back from them, you need to start forgiving yourself. 

Fight for your future 

In order to be able to move on with your life after making a serious mistake, you need to think about how you are going to fight for your future. Say, for instance, you made a mistake that lead to a crime being committed, you might feel like you have no chance of a future. However, that is not necessarily the case. If you take the time to find a board certified criminal defense attorney who is willing to help defend your case, then you might have a chance of having the future that you want, after all. 

Move on 

When it comes to the mistakes that you have made, you cannot punish yourself forever. You need to find a way to let go of what you have done and find a way to move forward; otherwise, you will just be punishing yourself forever. When it comes to moving on, think about what you would like from your future – ask yourself, where you would like to be in five or ten years time. Just because things aren’t great right now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have the future that you want to have. 

The fact is that we all make mistakes, but it’s how you handle those mistakes that defines you. 

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