Recently engaged? Congratulations. Now you can start making headway on the plans that will allow you to celebrate your big day in a way that encompasses everything you stand for and that makes you happy. Planning a wedding can be all-consuming if you take care of all the details yourself sans wedding planner. After all, this is your day to celebrate the love you have for each other and your nearest and dearest family and friends.
The big question is, does a same-sex wedding need to be the same as a traditional one, and if so how? Honestly, your wedding, your rules but there are some similarities to planning your big day you should bear in mind.
Save the Date
In the first instance, once your proposal has been accepted, you need to discuss how you are both willing to wait before you say, “I do”. Some prefer a longer engagement to take their time to make sure everything is right, and the decision to get married is the right one. Others see no need in waiting and want to rush into the heady days of wedding planning. However, this looks for them.
Once you have decided on the length of your engagement, you can throw around some dates as a provisional idea of when you are likely to get married. Be sure to check with venues and suppliers before sending out states to ensure you won’t be disappointed. Wedding venues can book out years in advance, and even if you are planning long engagements, you might need to book in asap to snap up the perfect wedding venue for your big day.
Then, you can start the planning and send out save the date invites to those you wish to celebrate with you. No longer are you limited to boring cards or even impersonal e-vites; you can tie your choice of stationery to your quirky wedding ideas such as custom save the date magnets from MagnetStreet to add some flair and personality to your planning.
Once you have saved the date, you can then adapt this design from your magnets to the rest of your wedding stationery to help you create a theme and style and represent your wedding.
Make it Legal
While more and more countries are legalizing same-sex marriages, not all are equal to heterosexual marriages. Ensure you know exactly what paperwork you will be getting and your marital status; for example, Australia allows same-sex couples to ‘marry’ via a civil commitment ceremony.
Whereas in the UK, in 2013, Parliament enacted the Marriage (Same-Sex Couples) Act, allowing same-sex couples in England and Wales to marry civilly. The law permitted religious organizations to opt in to marry same-sex couples if they so desired while also protecting religious organizations and their officials from successful legal challenges if they did not. Civil partners might transform their civil partnerships into marriages, and transgender people could alter their legal gender without breaking their current marriages.
Making sure you know the legalities of your wedding in the location you choose to marry can help you make the right plans; for example, if you wish to have a destination wedding that doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages, you might need to have the legal ceremony before you leave for your destination and have an officiant who can bless the union on the big day if applicable.
A Religious Wedding
These days, there are plenty of options for same-sex marriages within different religions. While the Roman Catholic Church does not condone same-sex relationships, several Catholic denominations do not report to the Vatican and thus adopt a more liberal stance, holding same-sex weddings. Other religions are paving the way to spread the love is love message and are opening their doors to more weddings within the LGBTQ communities.
You can even choose a person of religion to officiate at your wedding outside of a church or speak at your wedding for that religious touch without having to marry in a church.
Traditional or Not?
One of the best things about same-sex weddings is that you can throw the rule book out of the window if you want to? While many people love the grandeur of a traditional wedding, others prefer to celebrate the newness of marriage and make up their own rules.
This is a big decision and should be made by both parties, or at least compromised upon if you have differing opinions. Blend the new with the old and create a fusion of the best elements of traditional wedding days with something that makes you happy.
Source Inclusive Vendors
Sadly homophobia is still an ever-present threat to same-sex couples, and for some, they may find it difficult to find vendors who will cater to your wedding. Find a vendor who is happy to celebrate with you and is inclusive of your relationship so you can sit back and enjoy your day. While this may be few and far between, it is worth being upfront when booking services for your big day to ensure that you don’t lose a deposit and be left without an important component come your wedding day.
If you want to book popular vendors, you might need to do so in advance. Thanks to the current pandemic, wedding vendors are finding they are working to increase booking times where people are rebooking weddings that were previously postponed. Be prepared to wait for the suppliers you prefer or ask for their recommendations for similar companies who can help you plan your big day.
Choosing Wedding Jewellery
Many men aren’t interested in wearing engagement rings and opt for wearing wedding bands only. When considering your wedding bands or engagement rings, if you are choosing them too, it can be preferable to shop together so you can choose rings you are both happy with depending on your individual tastes.
There is no need to conform to traditional ideas of which finger to wear a wedding band on or what your wedding band looks like if you don’t want to. A ring symbolizes your love, so you can choose to wear this symbol in whatever way makes you happy. Throw the rule book out of the window and do what feels right for you.
Plan Your Outfits
Bride and bride, groom and groom or even bride and groom, you can be whatever you choose to be and dress however you see fit. Both in tuxes or both in dresses, the choice is yours. Jumpsuits resembling wedding dresses are popular for weddings for both gay and straight couples.
Whatever you choose to wear, it might be an idea to shop at the same place, especially if you want to keep the element of surprise until you are both walking down the aisle. This way, the staff can allow you to choose outfits that work well together and compliment each other and your theme.
Don’t forget, you can apply the same rules to the rest of your wedding party too. Have all the bridesmaids in white tuxedos indeed of dresses or allow your guests to choose their own outfits to stand with you based on the theme of your wedding.
Wedding roles
In a traditional wedding, you have gender-assigned roles. Bridesmaids, best man, usher, maid of honor, etc., you need to decide if these roles are important to you or if you want to eschew gender-based roles in favor of one wedding party or certain people having main roles.
Ask yourself if you want your parents to walk you down the aisle or for someone to give you away. And if so, will one of you be waiting at the altar for the other person to arrive. How about getting rid of the aisle altogether or walking up to it side by side? These are the small details you need to look at to make sure you are both On the same page and know what to expect.
There are no rules when it comes to what makes your wedding day perfect for you. So mix it up, play around with some ideas and find the options that work best for you.
Bachelor or Bachelorette Parties
This is a momentous occasion for every couple, so it is only right you want to celebrate. However you choose to celebrate your big day, you want to have that pre-wedding day blow out with your nearest and dearest. Throw one big joint party, meet up throughout the night, or even plan a destination trip away to mark the occasion with your wedding party before the big day.
Conclusion
While planning a same-sex wedding may be different from a traditional male and female wedding, it allows you to redefine what marriage and love means to you and create a unique experience that blends the best of both of you and allow you to celebrate fittingly.
Your wedding day should be celebrated in the best way possible. However, you need to make sure you plan all the details to allow for a seamless wedding day with everyone knowing exactly what to expect and what will happen.
