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Brenda (Read if you know her)

Gee Cruz finds a friend in Brenda – that lesbian phone application which she said she enjoys not only because it keeps her company when having dull moment, but also because it allows her to see different sides of lesbian social life.

During those dull moments when I had to wait for the plane, bus or ferry to arrive or depart; whenever I felt so alone in a place where I was so lost in translation I found a companion in Brenda. It is that lesbian phone application which I actually installed last August during a trip to Boracay.

I do not have to date anyone from Brenda, for that matter. I simply enjoy its given features and other add-ons. You see, I moved from using a free online ad website to Brenda because the quality of people I meet through the ad website has been downgraded since I started using it April of this year. Most people there would be looking for a threesome or would just want to get paid. Lesbians, as far as I have known them, are not like that.

Given my restricted social life due to graduate studies and unemployment gap, I have been meeting some people in Brenda and I realized some things.

Lesbian world is really small. Madame, a character in my earlier article (8 Lesbians You Will Meet in Craigslist), chatted with someone in Brenda. When they decided to meet, both of them were surprised. The girl recognized her – Madame used to date the girl’s girlfriend’s cousin (male).

It is that small you will encounter your ex two-night stand. Yes, you read that – two-night stand because I do not even know how to classify what we had. We met through Craigslist and then decided to stay in a hotel for one night, but extended our stay. I was the baby lesbian, she was the notorious one who was suffering from ex girlfriend hang ups. To my surprise, I found out she is also in Brenda.

People will talk about you. To continue the story about the ex two-night stand, I was just surprised when someone told me about a surreal encounter with someone and sent me a photo. Voila. There she was. Nightmare all over again.

You can never hide. They are the equivalent of the stalker in my other article, but they refuse to be called stalkers. They prefer “researchers” or “dataminers.” They will creep you by sending you a message very early in the morning saying “can I scare you a little?” followed by information about yourself. You will think you are the only person who experienced this. No. You will encounter another soul who will totally relate to you. The “researchers” are harmless. They are just too discreet and too careful.

There are decent people in Brenda. No matter how creepy people are or how far they could be from my current location, Brenda feels like a small community of people who could understand lesbian woes, i.e. recovering from a recent break up, getting a new girl, meeting like-minded people, etc. There are times these people you meet through Brenda are the ones who would make you feel secured because you do not have to worry about hiding your secrets.

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Lately I have been meeting Brenda people based in Manila. We started as a group of three and realized we are now growing the network. Having this kind of network really helps – to prevent bumping in to your ex, to learn about a prospect, to find out about the latest news or sometimes just to get a different perspective in life.


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