This is part of “More than a Number”, which Outrage Magazine launched on March 1, 2013 to give a human face to those infected and affected by the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) in the Philippines, what it considers as “an attempt to tell the stories of those whose lives have been touched by HIV and AIDS”.
More information about (or – for that matter – to be included in) “More than a Number”, email firstname.lastname@example.org, or call (+63) 9287854244 and (+63) 9157972229.
Like others who test HIV-positive, Ron, 36, was “shocked” when he found out his HIV-positive status in April 2018. But he admitted that he was only “a little bit shocked” because he sort of anticipated testing positive because he knew he engaged in risky sexual behaviors in the past. He still couldn’t help but feel some “lungkot (sadness)” because “I let it happen.”
Interestingly, “my family found out about my HIV status before I did,” he recalled. This was because his sister knew the medical practitioners in the hospital where he was tested; and they disclosed his status to her.
Ron said he didn’t want to “break down” in front of family members, particularly since he’s the only boy in the family (and following the stereotypical male expectation that males shouldn’t show weakness by crying/breaking down). However, he realized that his family’s members were apparently also showing the same “strength”, not wanting to show their sadness and even disappointment with him.
Ron was, therefore, “lucky” that his family showed him “good things; and support”.
When he tested HIV-positive, Ron’s CD4 count was 202, at “the brink of AIDS stage”, he said. And so he had to immediately start his antiretroviral treatment (ART). Immediately becoming healthier was one of the more immediate effects of testing HIV-positive. Another was “turning my life around”, he said – i.e. he rediscovered his faith, which he said he “lost” a few years back, and which may have led to him getting infected with HIV. “I shifted to following the right path,” he said.
Though he is still not open/out about his HIV status, Ron believes that – eventually – one should not hide one’s status. “Being HIV-positive is not an issue,” he said, “so long as you’re focusing on your treatment. You’re just like everybody else; nadagdagan ka lang ng isang pill, or two (you just happen to need to take a pill or two).”
For those afraid to get tested for HIV, Ron said that “if you love yourself and your family, undergo testing. Being HIV-positive isn’t a death sentence; and you may even find your purpose.”
In the end, Ron believes there is a need to deal with stigma. “People are scared about the virus. They just link this mostly with sex, so they look down on this. But if they find out that there’s life – and love – after diagnosis, then it may change their minds.” – WITH STEPHEN CHRISTIAN QUILACIO