Connect with us

Love Affairs

Drew Haya and Rorie Ann: One love, one journey

Drew Haya and Rorie Ann first met each other in 2012, when they were still both in self-described complicated relationships. But as soon as they became an item, they found happiness in each other’s arms. With what they have, Drew now says that “the key to have a happy life and happy relationship is to be true. No one will accept you except ‘you’. Just live a life that you love and be with the person who loves you and accepts you for who you are.”

Published

on

Drew Haya and Rorie Ann first met each other at one of the branches of Bo’s Coffee Shop. That was on March 26, 2012.

That wasn’t the first time they chatted, though.

“I love morning walks at Valero in Makati City,” Drew recalled. “I (was at that time) staying with a family friend in one hotel there for a month. I posted on She Planet’s Facebook page that I will go for a walk, and she commented. Magkikita sana kami (We were supposed to see each other), but I can’t remember why hindi natuloy (it didn’t push through). Malapit lang ang building kung saan siya na nag-wo-work sa tinutuluyan namin (The place where she worked was near where I stayed at).”

“I just saw one of her posts on Facebook, that she was in Valero walking along the street, and so I commented that my office is just around the area. I said maybe we could meet,” Rorie recalled.

And then one day, “nag-meet kami sa isang coffee shop sa Ayala. I (talk a lot), and I do love to share my life and lessons in life to other people. I am not sure kung ano nasa isip niya (I don’t know what she was thinking of me then). Promise, ang daldal ko (I swear, I was so talkative that time),” Drew shared.

“She was sharing all stories about her life and I was like, ‘Okay, so why is she sharing all these?’,” Rorie laughed.

At that time, however, they were both in relationships with others. “I can say ‘unhappy relationships’,” Drew admitted.

And then they saw each other again on April 14 of that year, when Drew invited Rorie to her place in Laguna. Then, “we both gave each other time para ayusin ang dapat ayusin (to fix what we had to fix).” By April 26, they became an item.

“I never wanted to be in an unhappy relationship again. Rorie makes me happy when she smiles and laughs… kahit simpleng bagay lang na sinabi ko, tumatawa siya (even if I say the simplest things, she already laughs). She is a very honest person. I love everything she hates about herself. And I’m in love because she’s always there when I need her the most. My family loves her and I love her so much.”

Rorie does not know when, exactly, she knew she was in love with Drew. But “I just found myself happy with her company. She is the reason I fell in love again for the right reason. Before her, I was in a complicated lesbian relationship, where I was the other woman. She was there to comfort me, made me laugh, and made me feel that I’m worthy to be loved.”

There are challenges to be faced, of course.

“I grew up in a religious family. Most of them are priests and nuns in Canada and here in the Philippines. It’s pretty hard because I know no one will accept our relationship, particularly in my family,” Drew said. Apparently, it is also like this with Rorie’s family.

For Rorie, “the biggest challenge in our society being a lesbian is being in a closet. Other people still don’t accept us for who we are, and for who we love. Specially for my family, it is hard to open up this kind of topic and admit that the one I love is also a girl. I’m afraid that they will hate me or reject me,” she said. “But as for me, as long as I’m still there for them to help and I don’t do any harm to others, then I am still being a good person.”

Nonetheless, “I think the key to have a happy life and happy relationship is to be true. No one will accept you except ‘you’. Just live a life that you love and be with the person who loves you and accepts you for who you are,” Drew said.

For Drew, “the best thing for me in this relationship is you can be whoever you want to be. Just be you and be happy with the person who makes you really happy. Just love whatever life has to offer. My girlfriend is with me in this journey.”

“I’m just happy to be with someone that I love and I’m comfortable with,” Rorie ended.

"If someone asked you about me, about what I do for a living, it's to 'weave words'," says Kiki Tan, who has been a writer "for as long as I care to remember." With this, this one writes about... anything and everything.

Love Affairs

LGBTQIA people think domestic violence is a cis-straight issue – study

A study found that domestic and family violence (DFV) and intimate partner violence (IPV) were perceived by community members and professional stakeholders to be a “heterosexual issue that did not easily apply to LGBTQIA relationships.”

Published

on

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels.com

Members of the LGBTQIA community think domestic violence is a cis-straight issue. This is according to a study conducted by Relationships Australia New South Wales (RANSW) and ACON (formerly the AIDS Council of NSW), and was published by Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety.

As stated in “Developing LGBTQ programs for perpetrators and victims/survivors of domestic and family violence”, many LGBTQIA people think domestic violence is an issue only faced by people who are both cisgender and straight.

The study found that domestic and family violence (DFV) and intimate partner violence (IPV) were perceived by community members and professional stakeholders to be a “heterosexual issue that did not easily apply to LGBTQIA relationships.”

“In particular, many community members held the view that relationships between (LGBTQIA) people could avoid the inherent sexism and patriarchal values of heterosexual, cisgender relationships, and, by implication, avoid DFV/IPV.”

In a way, this doesn’t come as a complete surprise, considering the language and framework used when discussing DFV and IPV.

The study noted that “although DFV and IPV have received increased attention in recent years, the focus has been on addressing intimate abuse between cisgender, heterosexual people with greater attention paid to male perpetrators.”

Also, “clients and potential clients did not have a full understanding of what constitutes domestic violence and felt this term related only to physical forms of abuse.”

And so “although (LGBTQIA) perpetrator interventions, and research around them, are emergent at best, the scant literature does provide a little information which can be used
to inform program developers and clinical practice.”

The researchers also noted particular kinds of abuse not seen among cis-straight people.

For instance, there are “identity-based tactics of abuse” where the fear of exposure or outing is used as a weapon within queer relationships.

After an individual has appraised that he/she may be experiencing abuse, seeking appropriate intervention may also be challenging because of non-inclusive services currently available.

The researchers recommended the following:

  • Make LGBTQIA inclusivity training required learning for all DFV/IPV sector staff, particularly those employed in specialized DFV/IPV roles.
  • Advocate that inclusivity training be made mandatory within clinical organizations, and among police and legal professionals.
  • Develop referral pathways into LGBTQIA-friendly DFV/IPV programs for key professionals, such as court support workers and magistrates.
  • Increase representation of LGBTQIA people in promotional material about DFV/IPV.
  • Use social media platforms to increase DFV/IPV awareness in LGBTQIA communities and use these channels to engage clients for future programs.
  • Provide ongoing funding to develop, trial and implement tailored programs. Short funding cycles do not provide adequate time to populate groups within an underdeveloped community area.
  • Ensure programs respond to diverse needs within mixed LGBTQIA groups and manage transphobia and biphobia.

This isn’t the first time DFV and IPV within the LGBTQIA community was tackled – even if it remains to be under-researched, and not widely tackled within the LGBTQIA community. In 2018, for instance, a study found that nearly half of men in same-sex couples suffered some form of abuse at the hands of their partner, according to a study that surveyed 320 men (160 male couples) in Atlanta, Boston and Chicago in the US to measure emotional abuse, controlling behaviors, monitoring of partners, and HIV-related abuse.

Continue Reading

Love Affairs

When is reading your partner’s emotions beneficial, and when harmful?

Expressing and perceiving emotions is, of course, important for making connections and deriving satisfaction in a relationship. But in order to really propel your partner to change, you may need to use more direct communication about exactly what kind of change you are hoping for.

Published

on

Photo by @rdslav from Unsplash.com

Are you good at reading your partner’s emotions? Your perceptiveness may very well strengthen your relationship. Yet when anger or contempt enter the fray, little is to be gained and the quality of your relationship tanks, researchers find.

new study by a team of psychologists from the University of Rochester and the University of Toronto tried to figure out under what circumstances the ability to read another person’s emotions–what psychologists call “empathic accuracy”–is beneficial for a relationship and when it could be harmful. The study examined whether the accurate perception of a romantic partner’s emotions has any bearing on the quality of a relationship and a person’s motivation to change when a romantic partner asks for a change in behavior or attitude.

While prior research on empathic accuracy had yielded mixed findings, the new study shows that couples who accurately perceive appeasement emotions, such as embarrassment, have better relationships than those accurately perceiving dominance emotions, such as anger or contempt. The perception may be on the part of the person requesting the change, or the person receiving the request.

Lead author Bonnie Le, an assistant professor in the University of Rochester’s Department of Psychology, says the team zeroed in on how accurately deciphering different types of emotions affects relationship quality.

“If you accurately perceive threatening displays from your partner, it can shake your confidence in a relationship,” says Le, who conducted the research while a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management.

Key findings

  • Couples who accurately perceive appeasement emotions–either as the person requesting the change or the person receiving the request–have better relationships.
  • Couples where either partner feels negative emotions, regardless of whether those emotions are accurately perceived by the partner, have poorer relationships.
  • Accuracy in reading another person’s emotions does not increase the motivation to heed a partner’s request for change.

Why is the ability to change important for a partnership?

Even in the best relationships, partners invariably experience conflict. One way to tackle conflict, researchers argue, is to ask a partner to change by, for example, spending less money, losing weight, making changes to a couple’s sex life, or resetting life goals. Yet, requesting such personal (and sometimes threatening) change can elicit negative emotions and put a strain on a relationship. That’s why figuring out how best to navigate emotionally charged situations is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship.

“If you are appeasing with your partner–or feel embarrassed or bashful–and your partner accurately picks up on this, it can signal to your partner that you care about their feelings and recognize a change request might be hurtful,” Le says. “Or if your partner is angry or contemptuous–what we call dominance emotions–that signals very different, negative information that may hurt a partner if they accurately perceive it.”

The team–besides Rochester’s Le–is made up of Stéphane Côté of the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management; and Jennifer Stellar and Emily Impett, both from the University of Toronto Mississauga. They discovered that the type of negative emotion detected matters: if you read in your partner’s expression softer emotions–such as sadness, shame, or embarrassment–you generally enjoy a strong relationship. One possible reason is that these so-called “appeasement emotions” are read as signals of concern for the partner’s feelings.

In contrast, and contrary to the researchers’ original hypothesis, simply feeling anger or contempt–emotions that signal blame and defensiveness–rather than accurately reading those emotions in your partner, may be socially destructive for a relationship. The team found that if even just one partner felt angry, or displayed contempt, the quality of the relationship tanked, regardless of whether the other partner’s ability to read emotions was spot on, or completely missed the mark.

Coauthor Côté says the team doesn’t exactly know why anger functions in this way. “We think reading emotions allows partners to coordinate what they do and say to each other, and perhaps that is helpful when appeasement emotions are read, but not when anger emotions are read. Anger seems to overpower any effect of reading emotions, which is consistent with lots of research findings on how anger harms relationships.”

Yet, regardless of how well a person was able to decipher a partner’s emotions, accuracy did not increase motivation to heed the partner’s request for change.

Expressing and perceiving emotions is, of course, important for making connections and deriving satisfaction in a relationship. But in order to really propel your partner to change, you may need to use more direct communication about exactly what kind of change you are hoping for.
Photo by Diego Rezende from Unsplash.com

Direct communication is key

For the study, the researchers asked 111 couples who had been dating for an average of three years to discuss in a lab setting an aspect that they wanted their partner to change, such as particular behaviors, personal characteristics, or how they controlled their temper. The research team then switched the roles of those making the request and those who were asked to change. Afterward, the participants rated their own emotions and perceptions of their partner’s emotions, their relationship quality, and their motivation to heed those change requests.

“Expressing and perceiving emotions is, of course, important for making connections and deriving satisfaction in a relationship,” says Le. “But in order to really propel your partner to change, you may need to use more direct communication about exactly what kind of change you are hoping for.”

Research has shown that direct communication, whether positive or negative, is more likely to lead to change in the long run. That said, the emotional tone you take when you ask your partner for a change is important, notes Le:

“It’s not bad to feel a little bashful or embarrassed when raising these issues because it signals to the partner that you care and it’s valuable for your partner to see that. You acknowledge that what you raise may hurt their feelings. It shows that you are invested, that you are committed to having this conversation, and committed to not hurting them. And the extent to which this is noted by your partner may foster a more positive relationship.”

Continue Reading

Love Affairs

Non-sexual intimate touches build stronger relationship

Go ahead: Give your partner a hug or cuddle while you catch some Netflix. According to a research from Binghamton University, State University of New York, it just might build a stronger relationship.

Published

on

Not all about sex.

Go ahead: Give your partner a hug or cuddle while you catch some Netflix. According to a research from Binghamton University, State University of New York, it just might build a stronger relationship.

The study, led by Binghamton University doctoral student in psychology Samantha Wagner, particularly looks at the effects of non-sexual intimate touch – for example, hugging, holding hands or cuddling on the couch, rather than actions intended to lead to sex. Attachment style refers to human social bonds and exists on a spectrum; avoidant individuals prefer more interpersonal distance, while anxious individuals seek greater closeness. This style develops in childhood, but can change over time and vary with the individual in question.

“It all depends on how open, close and secure you feel with that person, which is impacted by many, many factors,” Wagner said.

To determine the connection of attachment style, touch satisfaction and marital satisfaction, researchers used a sample of 184 couples over the age of 18, consisting of husbands and wives; same-sex couples were excluded. Because the study protocol included hormonal sampling, individuals on hormonal therapy were also excluded, as well as postmenopausal, pregnant or breastfeeding women. They were interviewed separately on their attachment tendencies, the amount of touch and routine affection in their relationships, and their relationship satisfaction.

Researchers expected to find that avoidant individuals preferred less touch, while anxious people prefer more. What they found was more nuanced.

The more routine affection that couples experienced, the more they felt satisfied with their partners’ touch, even if they had avoidant attachment styles. With low levels of physical affection, anxious husbands were less satisfied with the touch they received, but not anxious wives, who may instead choose to solicit the missing affection.

For men, higher levels of routine affection are associated with relationship satisfaction; in other words, touch is a positive, the icing on the marriage cake. For women, lower levels of routine affection correlated with relationship dissatisfaction, meaning that touch is an essential ingredient and its absence is a negative. It’s a subtle distinction.

“There’s something specific about touch satisfaction that interplays with relationship satisfaction but not dissatisfaction for wives,” said Wagner, who noted that further research studies may be able to clarify the distinction.

Whatever a couple’s attachment insecurities, the perception of how their partner touches them has the greatest association with “touch satisfaction.” In other words, more is better because they can more easily see that their partner is trying to engage with them.

Overall, the study shows an association between non-sexual physical affection and solid marriages, although the current data can’t establish cause and effect.

“Interestingly, there’s some evidence that holding your partner’s hand while you’re arguing de-escalates the argument and makes it more productive,” said Wagner, who has used the technique with clients.

However, Wagner emphasized that the study focused only on healthy, consensual touch — not manipulation or abuse. Touch holds different meanings for people, she pointed out; someone with autism spectrum disorder may be overwhelmed by tactile sensitivity, and someone with a history of trauma may experience touch as averse.

Wagner is, by her own admission, a hugger and has long been fascinated by the healing possibilities of touch; she wrote her senior thesis as a qualitative review of the uses and benefit of touch across the lifespan. But questions continued to arise: Why do some people enjoy touch more than others? And do they benefit more as a result?

As the coronavirus pandemic continues, couples may want to consider adding more affection to decrease stress — as long as their partners are receptive and willing.

“Feel free to give some extra snugs on the couch. There’s plenty of evidence that suggests touch as a way to decrease stress,” she said.

But she notes that the coronavirus pandemic also may lead to touch deprivation, as social distancing keeps us physically apart from one another. Consider, for example, healthcare workers who are quarantining themselves from their own families when they return home, to keep the virus from spreading to their loved ones.

“I think we should all hold the loved ones we can a little closer and be thoughtful of the struggles that others might be having because they can’t do just that,” she said. “If anything is true for me, a hug has become even more precious than it was before.”

Co-authors include Binghamton University Associate Professor Richard Mattson, Stony Brook University Professor Joanne Davila, Binghamton University Psychology Chair and Professor Matthew Johnson and Binghamton University Associate Professor Nicole Cameron.

The paper, “Touch me just enough: The intersection of adult attachment, intimate touch and marital satisfaction,” was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

“I think we should all hold the loved ones we can a little closer and be thoughtful of the struggles that others might be having because they can’t do just that.”

Continue Reading

Love Affairs

How to speak with your partner about your sexual fantasies

The strangest thing is that, in most cases, two people who feel absolutely free to take off their clothes in front of each other are afraid to talk about their feelings and fantasies.

Published

on

At the moments when love and desire mix into one boiling substance, we rarely feel uncomfortable to undress in front of our partners. We feel as if we were the closest people on earth. The strangest thing is that, in most cases, two people who feel absolutely free to take off their clothes in front of each other are afraid to talk about their feelings and fantasies.

What is the reason for this? Why is it much easier to denude one’s body but not the soul? There might be many reasons that prevent us from speaking up about sexual fantasies with our partners. In this article, you will learn how to start doing it.

First and foremost, why?

Indeed, why should you talk about your fantasies? Many sexologists and psychologists (including father Freud, of course) say how important it is not only to talk but to make the fantasies real. Sex is a very important part of human life. But no partners are born 100% sexually compatible with each other.

Both of you build compatibility step-by-step. Talking is one of the most important building materials for it. Telepathy does not exist, and your partner will never guess what you want unless you tell them. Be honest about every fantasy you have. What do you want: to get some toys, to buy sex dolls, or maybe to try a new place? You are the only person who knows it. Talk about it.

Maybe if you start talking about your fantasies, the partner you have will feel that they can speak up to? Make sure you not only talk but also listen. And never judge.

With the topic of judging, we are moving forward to one of the reasons why most people are so afraid to tell about what they truly want in sex. For many years the society has told us how bad and shameful sexual relationships are. Then, while becoming adults, we started to think that the desires we have are also bad, and they should be kept uncovered.

If you really think so, you are mistaken. The fact that your friends or family members don’t talk about sex doesn’t mean that they don’t have it. Many people are doing things in bed that would seem unusual for you, but not so many of them talk about it in public.

The fantasies you have are normal. Once you admit it, it will be much easier to share them with your partner. Also, you might have the thoughts that the person you love can judge you for what you want to do in bed. You might think that they will stop loving you after you share your secrets.

Most likely, they will only appreciate that you are opening up and telling them about the very intimate thoughts you have. It will also help your partner feel comfortable with sharing their fantasies. You’re not the only one who has them, right?

Once you learn to talk about what you want in sex, your relationships will be brought on a completely new level. It might take some time and even courage, but it’s worth your while.

Another very important step is to make the person you love to understand the fact that you want to try something more in sex doesn’t mean that you don’t like it the way you have. Make them be confident that your wishes for the experiments in bed don’t stem from the fact that you are bored with your sexual life.

If the person you love wants to try something new, don’t take it as an offense too. You should also understand that he or she having fantasies doesn’t mean that you don’t give them enough pleasure in bed. 

If, in the beginning, it’s challenging to start talking about new things you want to try in bed, there are still many ways to share your fantasies. For instance, you can play a couple of games such as writing the things you desire on the pieces of paper and then reading what your partner has written can be very interesting.

Also, there are many apps created for couples who want to open up for each other and talk about the most intimate thoughts they have. Indeed, sometimes you need someone or something to help you start talking about sex.

The most important and, probably, difficult is the beginning. Once you start talking about your sexual fantasies, it will become easier and easier to speak up. Both you and your partner should understand the importance of being honest about your desires and not keep them secret.

So, it always takes some courage to start talking about your sexual fantasies with a partner. What if he/she will not understand it? What if they will not like it? What if my fantasies are wrong and shameful? These thoughts probably come to anyone who has a dichotomy whether to share their intimate thoughts or not.

But telling the partner about what you want is very important for your happiness as a couple. Just remember to abandon the idea that you will be judged and never judge your beloved one, be willing to open up, and never assume that what if the person you love wants something new in bed is the sign that you don’t satisfy them anymore.

Be honest with your partner and yourself. Don’t be afraid to talk about things you want in sex and make the person you love to feel comfortable while speaking up. Build compatibility by yourself, and don’t expect the miracle to happen.

Continue Reading

Love Affairs

Unique gifts for the man in your life that you can both enjoy

Ultimately, the most important thing to remember when shopping for a gift for your partner is to be thoughtful. Try to find a gift that is personal and unique, so that they feel supported and valued.

Published

on

Finding the perfect gift can be hard, particularly when you’re buying for a man who already has a lot of gadgetry and an independent income.

Often, they tend to buy themselves the gadgets and garments they want, leaving you with limited options when it comes to finding them a present they’ll love. 

Don’t despair, because there are still loads of ways to surprise them and give them an unforgettable treat. If you’re trying to find a gift, be it for a birthday, holiday or special occasion, then read on to find a selection of ideas that you can share with them. 

An Experience Voucher

One of the best ways to give a unique, unforgettable gift to the man in your life is to buy him an experience voucher. There are many options to choose from, ranging from supercar track days and hot air balloon rides through to cooking lessons and cocktail masterclasses, meaning there’s something for everyone. You can choose an experience that you will both love and book it for them so that they have something to look forward to in the future. 

You can choose an experience that you will both love and book it for them.

A Sex Toy

If the love of your life is a fan of spicing things up in the bedroom, then there are these options here for sex toys that will entice and engage them. You can use them on your partner, or allow them to use them on you, to create intimate experiences that neither of you will forget. A sex toy is also a great way to start experimenting in the bedroom, so buying one as a gift way to start your journey towards a fulfilling and exciting sex life. Just make sure he doesn’t open it in front of his family! 

A sex toy is a great way to start experimenting in the bedroom.

Designer Underwear

Many men wear the same old underwear for years, but this can be uncomfortable for them, as well as unappealing for you. Try to find them some new underwear made by a designer brand, so that they can look good and you can feel even better. Try to buy them in a style that suits their body and a color that will set off their skin tone, so that their underwear will look good and well as keeping your partner snug and comfortable. 

Try to find them some new underwear made by a designer brand, so that they can look good and you can feel even better.

A High-End Electric Guitar 

If your partner is an avid guitar player, but you want to enjoy some respite from the sound of their favorite songs coming through the walls during their late-night jam sessions, then consider buying them a luxury electric guitar. When played without an amp, they are almost entirely silent, meaning that they can practice to their heart’s content while you sleep soundly in another room. Check out the high-end electric guitars on offer from some of the world’s most respected instrument makers to find one that your man will love. 

When played without an amp, they are almost entirely silent, meaning that they can practice to their heart’s content while you sleep soundly in another room.

A Couple’s Massage

Massages are a relaxing spa treatment that almost everyone enjoys, so if your partner is a fan of being pampered, then consider getting them a voucher for a couple’s massage or spa day. You can both indulge in a relaxing massage and spend a relaxing day together. Many spas also offer you the chance to try out other treatments with your partner, so check out the menu and see if there’s anything that you will both enjoy. Afterwards, you can cool off in the pool or the hot tub, bringing your relaxing, rejuvenating day to a close and leaving you both refreshed and ready to face whatever the future brings.

You can both indulge in a relaxing massage and spend a relaxing day together.

A Pet

Buying a pet as a surprise gift is not advisable, but if you and your partner have been considering taking the leap and becoming a pet parent for some time, then paying for it could be a great gift. Make sure that you both choose the animal together so that you find one that fits perfectly into your little family. You might not be able to surprise them, but you will be able to buy a gift that you will both love and which will be a major part of your lives for many years to come. 

If you and your partner have been considering taking the leap and becoming a pet parent for some time, then paying for it could be a great gift.

A Trendy Kitchen Accessory 

Gourmet cooking has become fashionable over recent years, thanks to celebrity chefs. As a result, many men love to spend their time in the kitchen, whipping up their favorite dishes. Search for a quality kitchen accessory that will enhance their cooking experience and help them to create even more tasty treats, which you, of course, will be more than happy to sample to check that they taste as good as they look.

Gourmet cooking has become fashionable over recent years, thanks to celebrity chefs.

Ultimately, the most important thing to remember when shopping for a gift for your partner is to be thoughtful. Try to find a gift that is personal and unique, so that they feel supported and valued. Use this list to find inspiration and share the joy with your loved one. 

Continue Reading

Love Affairs

Top strategies that will make your partner never want to cheat

If one day, a person we truly love has a new flame and decides to leave us, it might become one of our most traumatic experiences in life. But how to prevent this? If there is no guarantee that two people will always be loyal to each other, how do we make our partners never think about cheating on us?

Published

on

By Michelle Miller

‘I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health’ – sounds great. Great, but very unrealistic… 

If all the people abided by the promises they gave to their partners at the beginning of relationships, almost 50% of married couples would not get divorced. But they do.

Why does your partner have to be loyal to you? Is there any written consent where you promise to love only one person till the end of your days? In reality, everyone is free to develop intimate feelings to anyone they want. 

But if one day, a person we truly love has a new flame and decides to leave us, it might become one of our most traumatic experiences in life. But how to prevent this? If there is no guarantee that two people will always be loyal to each other, how do we make our partners never think about cheating on us? 

The question is very complex and versatile, but there is an answer.

Bring Something New To The Relationship

To not get bored with each other, try to always bring something fresh into your relationships. Travel together. Discover new places on Earth and explore each other. Go to a new restaurant. Maybe, you’ll both realize that this new Asian dish is something you won’t be able to live without. 

Try new things in sex. What makes your relationships different from the ones you have with friends or family members is the fact that only both of you know how to bring each other a lot of pleasure. Your sexual relationship is the most private and intimate part of life that only two of you share.

Don’t be afraid to go to an Adult Toy Shop and buy something that will heat up your sex life. Don’t be afraid to talk about your fantasies and turn them into reality. Trying something new in sex is one of the most important strategies to fall in love with each other every day.

Don’t Chase Your Loved One

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
Nathaniel Hawthorne

One of the most common mistakes of many partners is that they see a potential hazard everywhere. They feel that the person they love can cheat on them with their best friend, with a colleague at work or with a hairdresser who makes eyes at them.

Being worried about a partner’s fidelity, many people become overcontrolling. They are not aware that it only exacerbates the problem and makes the relationship unpleasant for their loved ones.

Why did you come later from work? Why did you start following this person’s Instagram account? With whom were you talking on the phone for so long? -all these questions make your partner feel that they are forced to stay with you, and this is not their voluntary decision.

A prohibited fruit tastes sweeter. If you don’t let the person you love to communicate with the people they want to, they are much more likely to cheat on you. Show them that you have nothing to be afraid of and you know your value. 

Focus On Yourself

You may ask why, to make our partners want to stay with us, we need to focus on ourselves instead of giving all the love and attention to them? The answer is simple; you have to be an interesting person in order to attract your loved one all over again.

While spending all your energy on pleasing the partner, you risk losing your individuality. It makes you a convenient person who is very easy to manipulate. 

Make room for yourself. Don’t let your loved one become your whole universe, even if you want so. Have some time for hobbies, career, or personal growth. Don’t make your partner the only friend you have. Communicate with many people. 

The person who is happy with their life and can enjoy it both alone or in a relationship is valued by their partner. The charming sparkles in the eyes in the midst of doing something you really love is something that is impossible not to fall in love with. 

Also, your willingness to grow personally will always make your beloved one want to catch up with you. Being eager to develop, your partner will be less likely to have enough time for affairs with other people. You will be the person that they are going to be afraid to lose, not the other way around.

Remember that even if you feel that your love for another person is the most powerful and strong feeling you’ve ever experienced, you should never neglect yourself. Self-love attracts the right partners in life and makes you less weak and lonely when a relationship shatters. The only person who for 100% will ‘be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health’ is only you. 

Michelle Miller is a Florida-based writer and graduate of UF College of Journalism and Communications, Gainesville, FL. She writes in various niches like sex-relationships, cannabis, health-wellness, etc. When not writing, she enjoys hiking to new places and playing guitar.
Contact: MichelleMillerOfficial@outlook.com

Continue Reading
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

Most Popular