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Entering the new year alone? What single life will look like in 2021

Dating is definitely going to be different for a while to come, and even if things do go back to how they were before 2020, the shift towards online methods of socializing will probably have some lasting impact. With some adjustment though, you should still have no problem finding what you are looking for in the new year, whether it is a partner or just some fun.

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2020 has certainly been an unusual year and one that has been challenging for just about everybody. With the effects of things like lockdowns, social distancing, and quarantines as a result of efforts to curb the spread of the coronavirus, it has been especially difficult for people who were looking for love this year, making it harder than usual to meet new people or to spend time with people you are dating. 

If you are getting ready to enter 2021 as a single person, then you may be wondering how the dating landscape is going to be, and what kind of things to expect from dating online and in the real world in 2021.

Here, we make some predictions about how dating and single life are likely to be in the new year:

More Social Activity Taking Place Online Than Ever

As the pandemic took hold, online activities began to replace the things we would normally do in person for just about everything, from work and studying to exercise and socializing. Online dating had already become the way that most single people looked to find new potential partners, and during 2020, it was for many people just about the only way available to introduce yourself to new people. 

Whether things begin to return to normal in 2021 once the vaccine for the virus begins to be administered, or whether there are more potential problems waiting for us in the new year, it is likely that the shift towards online activity and away from going out as much will continue for a while until people begin to feel more secure about being in places with lots of other people. Because of this, it will almost certainly be the case that if you want to look for a new partner in 2021 and haven’t already experienced the online dating scene, you will need to be biting the bullet and creating a profile! 

That said, if you prefer to meet people more organically, there are still ways to meet new potential dates online without using dating sites. For instance, by joining groups for things you are interested in and meeting like-minded people that way, or doing online activities like gaming or fitness classes where you get to interact with other participants.

One thing many people may decide is that it isn’t a very good time to try to start a new relationship anyway, given how difficult it can be to meet and spend time with people, and of course, there are always single people who are single by choice and aren’t looking for romance anyway.

Expect A Longer Wait to Bring Things into the ‘Real World’ When Online Dating

If you are trying out online dating for the first time in 2021, or if this was already something you were using to meet people, then you may find that people are more prepared to take their time and get to know each other through chatting online before arranging to meet in person. Whereas before the pandemic it was very easy to just set up a casual date for drinks or coffee with someone who piqued your interest, now that people are generally avoiding going out and a lot of places you might usually consider going to are closed, the first in-person meeting is a lot more effort, and so many people are chilling out and talking online with no rush to meet until they are feeling fairly confident about compatibility. Online and phone chatting has also been the only way for a lot of people to stay in contact with people they had already begun seeing during the lockdown periods, and so it is something many people are just generally more used to than they were in the past.

Things May Be Easier for Those Happy to Stay Single

One thing many people may decide is that it isn’t a very good time to try to start a new relationship anyway, given how difficult it can be to meet and spend time with people, and of course, there are always single people who are single by choice and aren’t looking for romance anyway. It could well be that life gets a little bit easier in 2021 for people who are happy to be single, with fewer annoying engagements like weddings and family parties where people will bother you about your relationship status! 

Equally, there are more entertainment options than ever before, and so if you do find yourself feeling bored or sexually frustrated on your own, you have plenty of resources to cheer you up without leaving home, such as using cam girl sites. You can check out Babestation, which has a great choice of different cam girls of all different styles who can keep you company and help you find some relief! 

Dating is definitely going to be different for a while to come, and even if things do go back to how they were before 2020, the shift towards online methods of socializing will probably have some lasting impact. With some adjustment though, you should still have no problem finding what you are looking for in the new year, whether it is a partner or just some fun.

Love Affairs

Use of pronouns may show signs of an impending breakup

Whether someone was getting dumped or was doing the dumping, language markers of the imminent breakup were notable up to three months before the event. Their language became more personal and informal, indicating a drop in analytic thinking. They used the words “I” and “we” more and showed signs of increased cognitive processing.

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Evidence of an impending breakup may exist in the small words used in everyday conversations months before either partner realizes where their relationship is heading, according to new psychology research.

Researchers at The University of Texas at Austin analyzed more than one million posts by 6,800 Reddit users one year before and one year after they shared news about their breakups in the r/BreakUps subreddit. The researchers found that three months before the breakup, their language began to change and did not return to normal until about six months after.

The study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, is the first to examine breakups and how long they last using natural language data.

“It seems that even before people are aware that a breakup is going to happen, it starts to affect their lives,” said lead author Sarah Seraj, a doctoral candidate in psychology at UT Austin. “We don’t really notice how many times we are using prepositions, articles or pronouns, but these function words get altered in a way when you’re going through a personal upheaval that can tell us a lot about our emotional and psychological state.”

Whether someone was getting dumped or was doing the dumping, language markers of the imminent breakup were notable up to three months before the event. Their language became more personal and informal, indicating a drop in analytic thinking. They used the words “I” and “we” more and showed signs of increased cognitive processing.

“These are signs that someone is carrying a heavy cognitive load. They’re thinking or working through something and are becoming more self-focused,” Seraj said. “Sometimes the use of the word ‘I’ is correlated with depression and sadness. When people are depressed, they tend to focus on themselves and are not able to relate to others as much.”

These pronounced patterns peaked on the day of the breakup and remained up to six months later, even when people were discussing other topics in different subreddit communities.

However, the researchers found that some users’ language did not return to normal a year after the breakup. These users had a tendency to linger in the r/BreakUps subreddit for months, rehashing their breakup story, over and over, making it harder for them to heal, the researchers suggested.

The researchers also compared their findings with users going through divorce and other emotional upheavals, finding similar language patterns though they were more muted for non-relationship upheavals.

Implications for this research are far reaching, said the study’s co-author, Kate Blackburn, a research fellow in psychology at UT Austin. “At the most basic level, it gives you, me, and everyday people insight into how loved ones may respond over time to the end of a romantic relationship.”

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Love Affairs

Can colors influence relationships? Check the colors supposedly good for love

Couples with green bedrooms are the happiest in their marriage (89%), followed by beige (84%) and red (77%). Alternatively, couples with purple (31%), brown (33%) and white (38%) colored bedroom walls are the unhappiest in their marriages.

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Photo by Hà Nguyễn from Unsplash.com

When it comes to decorating our homes, little thought often goes into how our choices will impact our wellbeing versus how it will look (and cost). But studies have found that the color of your bedroom walls can affect how well you work from home, as well as your sexual activities. 

Exactly because it was interested in looking at the latter (i.e. how color choices affect sex life), PriceYourJob.co.uk devised a study to see if a bedroom wall color impacts a marriage. For this, 4,390 couples were surveyed. They were asked: about the current wall color of their bedrooms; and then their answers were analyzed to ascertain how happy they are in their marriages. 

CHOOSING WELL

As a side note: The bedroom is where most arguments stem from for couples (51%), followed by the kitchen (22%), bathroom (16%), living room (8%) and garden (3%).

To help those who find the bedroom to be the hub of their issues, if a happy marriage is what you are after, paint your bedroom green. According to the findings of PriceYourJob.co.uk, 89% of people with a green bedroom are happy in their marriage. The color green is said to create a sense of comfort as we’re constantly surrounded by it. It can represent growth, fertility, safety and endurance which could contribute to why so many couples with green rooms are happiest. 

Those with beige-colored bedrooms were found to be the second happiest in their marriage (84%). Beige is often associated with being dependable, calming and warm, so it’s no wonder this is reflected in people’s marriages. 

Sultry, romantic and considered the color of love in many cultures, red takes third place. 77% of couples with this color bedroom are content in their marriage. 

Blue, grey and yellow follow next on the list as 70%, 64% and 62% of couples with these paint colors in their bedroom report being happy in their marriage. 

Completing the list of top 10 bedroom colors that lead to happier marriages are:

7. Indigo – 57% of couples are happy in their marriage 
8. Black – 51% of couples are happy in their marriage
9. Maroon – 48% of couples are happy in their marriage
10. Silver – 45% of couples are happy in their marriage

AVOID…

On the other end of the spectrum, PriceYourJob.co.uk discovered that certain bedroom colors can be found more commonly among couples that aren’t happy in their marriages. 

Couples with a purple bedroom were found to be the least happy in their relationship with only 31% claiming so. Purple often creates a mood of mystery and can call to mind feelings of indifference or sadness. 

Brown was the second most common color among unhappy marriages (33%), and white third (38%). Brown is said to be a heavy color that can suppress your emotions and therefore be a significant factor to a couple’s unhappiness without them realizing it, as communication is key to marriage. White can also be attached to the feeling of isolation, coldness and starkness which couples are inviting into their environment.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash.com

According to environmental psychologist and wellbeing consultant Lee Chambers: “We don’t often consider how different colors can impact our emotions when looking for a shade for our bedroom. Research has shown that spending time surrounded by certain colors can affect our emotions, mood and behaviors Especially in the home, this can have an effect on how we feel on a daily basis.”

For Chambers, bedrooms should be a place of relaxation, serenity and peace, where we rest and recuperate, and occasionally show our passions. “Warm, bold colors, like red are great for getting us alert and stimulated in the morning and are certain to bring out our feisty side. Cooler pastel shades such as blues and greens convey a sense of peace and nature, and they tend to calm us down and make us feel safer and assured, promoting a restful state. White is clean and clinical, but without a significant splash of color can feel cold and uninviting, while too much black can induce a feeling of sadness.”

Chambers recommends introducing a color that has both warmer and cooler elements, “and don’t forget to be mindful of each other’s color preferences, as we also attach our own meaning to colors and your bedroom color should feel like an expression of anyone who relaxes there and be a place of safety

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Making an impression using pick-up lines

92% of people agreed that the wrong pick-up line can be enough to put them off someone and swipe left. This means there is a need to know what kinds actually work.

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Due to nationwide lockdowns, more singletons than ever have turned to dating apps to seek a partner, often resorting to dodgy pick-up lines and dreadful jokes in the hopes of scoring themselves a date.

But which one gives you the best chance of receiving a swipe right? 

ManySpins.com did a research on this.

In the hopes of digging deeper and finding out why some pick-up lines are more effective than others, Manyspins.com surveyed 4,320 users to uncover their views.

To start, when asked ‘Do you like pick-up lines?’, 86% of participants said that they do and only 14% disagreed.  This goes to show that your dating success is down to your choice of pick-up line.

Now, 92% of participants agreed that the wrong pick-up line can be enough to put them off someone and swipe left. This means there is a need to know what kinds actually work.

What kinds of pick-up lines are the surveyed users most likely to swipe right on? Consider the following response:

  1. Cheesy/corny (77%)
  2. Romantic (71%)
  3. Funny (62%)
  4. Straightforward (56%)
  5. Dirty (34%)

Taking a range of pickup lines that fit into these different categories, Manyspins.com then took to Tinder to see which is most likely to get a response.

As stated, if you’re looking for a new pick-up line for your dating app bio, Manyspins.com found that old cheesy classics work best. The pickup line that receives the most matches is “I’d say God bless you, but it looks like he already did maintaining an impressive response rate of 80.4%.

With more people taking their search for love more seriously, using the classic “I think I’ve seen you before. You look a lot like my next boyfriend/girlfriendappears to work a treat as this pick-up line leads to a respectable 79.4% success rate. 

It seems that pick-up lines hinting of a potential future, are a hit when it comes to securing those right swipes, the profiles that used the pickup lines “So, when our friends ask how we met, what are we going to tell them?” and “You don’t know how many swipes it took to finally find you” had a 77% and 70.6% success rate, respectively. 

Not all pick-up lines work, obviously.

It’s clear to see that pick-up lines hinting towards sex are off-putting. The pickup line most likely to hinder success is “Let’s have a who’s better in bed contest. I’m hoping to be a sore loser”. With a success rate of just 20.6%, it may be too early to speak about the bedroom.

The pick-up line “If you were a booger, I’d pick you first” is another you may want to avoid. According to Manyspins.com’s findings, it had a beatable success rate of 32.8%. This could be due to the idea of being compared to a booger or the picture it paints of a lack of hygiene, but we’ll leave that up to those using it to find out. 

Another popular pick-up line that didn’t bode well with users was “Your parents will love me, but your neighbors won’t”. With a success rate of 34.2% it’s clear to see that once again laying it on thick may not be the way to go. 

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Importance of a pre-nup for high net worth individuals

To reduce any ambiguity and the risk of someone secretly ‘marrying for money,’ a prenuptial agreement puts down on record what was agreed to before the marriage. This establishes the thinking at the time of the marriage, which is useful in and of itself.

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For people who are just beginning their business journey but have already gained millionaire status, with the prospect of growing wealthier over time, there’s a need to protect themselves. Marriage being a legally binding contract, it opens up the potential for a loss of business control in a contentious and poorly managed divorce proceeding and subsequent settlement. 

To reduce any ambiguity and the risk of someone secretly ‘marrying for money,’ a prenuptial agreement puts down on record what was agreed to before the marriage. This establishes the thinking at the time of the marriage, which is useful in and of itself. 

Why are pre-nups vital for wealthy people?

Where Does the Money Originate?

Some men and women are independently wealthy before they marry. They may have inherited money from family or built a successful business early in life. Either way, they probably want to protect their money in the event the marriage breaks down in later years. 

Divorce Proceedings? Let the Mud Slinging Begin

Divorce proceedings tend to bring out the worst in people. Dividing the assets is not romantic and when there is bad feeling on both sides, it can soon get ugly. Previously friendly communications can quickly degenerate into false accusations as a negotiating tactic to force a higher settlement.

A negotiated prenuptial agreement for high-net-worth individuals should be a priority. Whether as a businesswoman or a businessman, it’s important to preserve the business interests by avoiding a necessary breakup of the corporation. Also, it’s preferable to have any children become the eventual beneficiaries rather than someone leaving the matrimonial union. This is often best achieved by limiting the financial exposure of a potential divorce through a negotiated prenuptial agreement. 

The Validity of a Negotiated Pre-Nup

As a will gladly tell you, it’s become increasingly common for people to attempt to get out of a pre-nup they signed. The most common reason cited is that they were “coerced into signing it” in an attempt to invalidate it. The situation occurs far less often when the person bootstrapped a business or was self-made. In which case, there’s far less of a wealth disparity between the divorcing couple. Yet when marriage was the main wealth creator for one of the parties, their divorce can become extremely difficult to resolve. 

A good resource to find a lawyer is using a directory like lawyers.findlaw.com. However, if you are looking for Lawyer in Salt Lake City, you might want to consider Hepworth & Associates Law Firm as they have considerable experience drafting legally binding prenuptial agreements. It makes it likelier that any pre-nup will be litigation-proof and far less likely that spurious claims used as a negotiation tactic will be taken seriously. 

For anyone who is already wealthy or even expects that they might become so, it’s worth getting a pre-nup before walking down the aisle. Otherwise, they’re literally putting it all on the line with a contract that has a 50/50 success rate, at best. If that were an investment, they’d surely pass. Yet marriage is a special case, so special protections are required to do it right. 

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What makes a happy couple, a happy family?

Being mindful and emotionally flexible in tough and challenging situations not only improves the lives of individuals, it might also strengthen and enrich their close relationships.

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Photo by Maico Pereira from Unsplash.com

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” Leo Tolstoy wrote famously in 1878 in the opening lines of Anna Karenina. Turns out the Russian author was onto something.

Cohesive families, indeed, seem to share a few critical traits – psychologists agree. Being emotionally flexible may be one of the most important factors when it comes to longevity and overall health of your romantic and familial relationships.

That’s the finding of a new University of Rochester meta-analysis, published in the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, which statistically combined the results of 174 separate studies that had looked at acceptance and commitment therapy, mindfulness, and emotion regulation.

The researchers’ aim was to clarify how mindful flexibility – on one hand – and inattentive, mindless, and rigid inflexibility on the other – were linked to the dynamics within families and romantic relationships.

“Put simply,” says coauthor Ronald Rogge, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, “this meta-analysis underscores that being mindful and emotionally flexible in tough and challenging situations not only improves the lives of individuals, it might also strengthen and enrich their close relationships.”

Psychological flexibility versus inflexibility

Psychological flexibility is defined as a set of skills that people use when they’re presented with difficult or challenging thoughts, feelings, emotions, or experiences. Such skills encompass:

  • Being open to experiences–both good and bad–and accepting them no matter how challenging or difficult they might be
  • Having a mindful attentive awareness of the present moment throughout day-to-day life
  • Experiencing thoughts and feelings without obsessively clinging to them
  • Maintaining a broader perspective even in the midst of difficult thoughts and feelings
  • Learning to actively maintain contact with our deeper values, no matter how stressful or chaotic each day is
  • Continuing to take steps toward a goal, even in the face of difficult experiences and setbacks

The opposite – psychological inflexibility – describes six specific behaviors, including:

  • Actively avoiding difficult thoughts, feelings, and experiences
  • Going through daily life in a distracted and inattentive manner
  • Getting stuck in difficult thoughts and feelings
  • Seeing difficult thoughts and feelings as a personal reflection and feeling judged or shameful for having them
  • Losing track of deeper priorities within the stress and chaos of day-to-day life
  • Getting derailed easily by setbacks or difficult experiences, resulting in being unable to take steps toward deeper goals.

Psychologists consider the rigid and inflexible responses to difficult or challenging experiences dysfunctional, ultimately contributing to and exacerbating a person’s psychopathology.

Photo by @suzylee from Unsplash.com

How flexibility shapes interactions

Through their analysis, coauthor Jennifer Daks, a PhD candidate in the Rochester Department of Psychology, and Rogge discovered that within families, higher levels of various forms of parental psychological flexibility were linked to:

  • Greater use of adaptive parenting strategies
  • Fewer incidents of lax, harsh, and negative parenting strategies
  • Lower perceived parenting stress or burden
  • Greater family cohesion <
  • Lower child distress

Within romantic relationships, higher levels of various forms of psychological inflexibility were linked to:

  • Lower relationship satisfaction for themselves and their partners
  • Lower sexual satisfaction
  • Lower emotional supportiveness
  • Greater negative conflict, physical aggression, attachment anxiety, and attachment avoidance

The results suggest that psychological flexibility and inflexibility may play key roles in both couples and families in shaping how individuals interact with the people closest to them, the researchers write.

The meta-analysis, also commonly referred to as a “study of studies,” cements and adds to the findings of Rogge’s earlier work in which he and a team tested the effects of couples’ watching movies together and talking about the films afterward. In that work, Rogge and his colleagues demonstrated that couples could bring mindful awareness, compassion, and flexibility back into their relationships by using movies to spark meaningful relationship discussions, leading to both immediate and long-term benefits.

That study, conducted in 2013, found that an inexpensive, fun, and relatively simple watch-and-talk approach can be just as effective as other more intensive therapist-led methods–more than halving the divorce or separation rate from 24 to 11 percent after the first three years of marriage.

Being mindful and emotionally flexible in tough and challenging situations not only improves the lives of individuals, it might also strengthen and enrich their close relationships.

“The results suggest that husbands and wives have a pretty good sense of what they might be doing right and wrong in their relationships,” Rogge said about the earlier study. “You might not need to teach them a whole lot of skills to cut the divorce rate. You might just need to get them to think about how they are currently behaving. And for five movies to give us a benefit over three years–that is awesome.”

Watching and discussing movies with your partner that feature onscreen couples can have a positive effect on your relationship, Rogge recently told People magazine. It’s an easy exercise that “could be a lifesaver during quarantine,” he says.

Which movies work? As Good as It GetsFunny GirlGone with the WindLove StoryIndecent ProposalThe Devil Wears Prada, and Father of the Bride are a few of the films Rogge and his fellow researchers used in their 2013 study of couples.

Looking for some LGBTQ recommendations? Rogge suggests The Kids Are AlrightThe Wedding BanquetThe Birdcage, and episodes of Grace and Frankie.

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Love Affairs

Problems in your relationship? What can you do about them?

Understanding how to tackle a problem is just as important as the problem itself, so if you don’t know how to approach this issue, keep reading.

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Relationships aren’t always rainbows and butterflies. At some point, something is going to go wrong. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, meaning that there will be a problem at some point that you’re just going to have to deal with. But do you know how to do this?

IMAGE SOURCE: PEXELS.COM

Understanding how to tackle a problem is just as important as the problem itself, so if you don’t know how to approach this issue, keep reading down below. Here, you are going to find some of our advice as to what you can do when there’s problems in your relationship. 

Talk About Them

The first thing that you’re going to need to do is talk about them. When there is an issue, encouraging open and honest communication is the very best thing that you can do to tackle whatever it is. If you think about it, how is the other person supposed to know that there is an issue if you’re not willing to talk about it? You know that if your partner has a problem, you want them to discuss it with you so that you can work on it. Without this communication, you’re never going to get very far in a relationship.

You need to trust that you can have an honest conversation about your feelings. If you think that you can’t, then you’re not in the right relationship.

Seek Help

If you feel as though talking isn’t solving the issue and you’re unable to fix the problem yourself, then you can always seek help. There are professionals out there that deal with this kind of thing for a reason, and it’s because it isn’t always easy to see certain things when you’re the one in the situation. So, you might want to think about something such as sex therapy counselling if you think that this is where the issue is. Or, if you’re married and having multiple problems, general marriage counselling might work out better for you. Just remember that there are professionals to help should you need them.

Find A Solution

The final thing that you need to do is find a solution. We know that it isn’t always this simple, but it becomes far easier when you change your outlook on a situation. You need to remember that it is you and your partner vs. the problem, not you vs. your partner. Once you realize this, it becomes far easier to come up with a solution that suits everyone because you view the problem from both sides. A relationship will only work for as long as you are both trying, so keep this in mind and give it everything that you’ve got.

We hope that you have found this article helpful and now have a better understanding as to some of the things that you can do when there is a problem in your relationship. Do at least one of these things, and we’re sure that you will find a way to get past whatever the problem is right now. We wish you all the best.

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