This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Anet Alim, now 32, was 16 when she got a glimpse of the LGBTQIA community (particularly the lesbian community). “I had a boyfriend then. (But) I befriended a lesbian woman… who took me with her to a party. She introduced me to the LGBTQIA community. I felt happier there than when I was with my boyfriend,” Anet recalled. “ That’s when it started. When my eyes were opened that I’m attracted to women.”
Looking back, “I don’t know how I survived the discrimination I encountered. When I told my parents I broke up with my boyfriend because I liked a girl, my mother slapped me. But I stood my ground. After many years… 2-3 years, I think, they eventually accepted me. They didn’t have a choice.”
IN SEARCH OF REAL FRIENDS
The second of five kids also had issues with (former) friends.
“When I told my friends I’m part of the LGBTQIA community, at first they couldn’t accept this since I had a boyfriend. They said I was just influenced by my environment. And that I was just influenced by my lesbian friend. They said I should return to what I was before. For them, what I am is not permanent,” Anet said.
Nonetheless, “I said I’ll just follow what’s in my heart. As long as I don’t hurt anyone. I dropped these friends because I felt they didn’t support me in my happiness.”
She added: “As a lesbian woman in CDO, I think 50% of the time it’s hard. But 50% of the time it’s easy. The community still doesn’t fully accept LGBTQIA people. But even if it’s hard, we still push for our happiness. It doesn’t matter if the community can’t accept us. As long as we’re real to ourselves.”
FINDING LOVE
After finishing BS in Information Technology at USTP (University of Science and Information Technology of Southern Philippines), Anet now works as a freelance graphic designer.
Anet has a girlfriend now, and they’ve been together for almost three years now. “I met her online, in Facebook. She was the first to chat with me… of course! We met somewhere in Divisoria and eventually became friends. That’s the start of our ‘Getting to know each other’ stage. I think we were friends for three months before we officially became an item.”
For Anet, “it isn’t hard to look for a lesbian girlfriend in Cagayan de Oro. Cagayan de Oro is the ‘City of Golden Friendship’. It’s easy to find a lot of friends here, who you can be with. Lesbian women here are also outgoing.”
CONFRONTING LESBIAN ISSUES IN C.D.O.
“There are issues faced by lesbians here in our place. First is discrimination. And second is the lack of HIV awareness,” Anet said.
On discrimination, “some are physically abused by their parents. I think we need to give attention to their human rights.”
Meanwhile, on HIV, “HIV is also an issue among lesbians here in my community. This is because some of our hard butch friends have sex with partners who work in bars and similar venues. They also need to be aware of what to do. This already touches on the health issues of people like us.”
WORKING AS ONE
But for Anet, it helps to have LGBTQIA organizations.
“It can help others understand what we are. And so it can help change how people perceive us. That even if we’re different, even if we’re LGBTQIA, at least we’re still human. We can also do what heterosexual people do. We all eat. We will all die in the end. So why judge a person?”
Anet wants younger lesbian women to be more loving of themselves.
“To young lesbian women who have not yet fully developed their identity/ies, and yet have an inkling of what they are, just accept what you are. Just be true to yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Just love yourself more.”
And to those who may still not accept LGBTQIA people, particularly parents with LGBTQIA kids: “My message to parents with kids who are LGBTQIA is, even if you still haven’t accepted they’re LGBTQIA, at least respect them. Guide them. Don’t judge them because of the path they chose. That’s where they’re happy. So hopefully you’d support them where they’re happy.”
