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Gay parenting: A guide to your options

There are still mixed messages in the mainstream media surrounding gay couples having children. Despite this, the fact remains that many gay couples do want children. Here, at least, there is good news. Gay couples who want to have children have many options available to them.

There are still mixed messages in the mainstream media surrounding gay couples having children. Despite this, the fact remains that many gay couples do want children. Here, at least, there is good news. Gay couples who want to have children have many options available to them. Some of those options were not viable only a short time ago. So it is a wonderful thing indeed that homosexuals can now find ways of having children to raise.

Any gay couple starting to think about having a baby might well be overwhelmed with the choices available. When it comes to thinking about something as big as this, it can be difficult or stressful.

Nonetheless, there are many options available – and that can only be a good thing. If you are in the position of thinking about kids at the moment, and you’re wondering what to do, look no further. In this post, we will guide you through the most common options that gay couples have for having a baby.

We will also look briefly at the pros and cons of each, to help you make your decision.

Without further ado, let’s take a look now.

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ADOPTION

Adoption has much to be said for it for any couple, straight or gay. One thing is for sure: it is popular, just about the most popular choice for homosexual couples wanting babies in the last few years. The process for adoption can be a long and tiresome one – but at the end of it, you are likely to be very happy. One great thing about adoption is that, as a process, you know you are relying on something with a long and successful history. Adoption is one of the oldest methods, and one of the most successful. There is also the obvious, and huge, benefit of taking in a child and ensuring that they have a happy home. Truly, this is one of the greatest gifts that anyone can give to anyone else. This alone is often enough for many couples to go for adoption as their first choice.

However, it’s not for everyone, and it does have its downsides. It is a notoriously long and drawn-out process, and you might well be waiting for a long time. If you are the patient type, then that is probably no great deal. However, if you and your partner are keen to get going, then adoption might not be the best choice.

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Regardless, adoption is a viable option for any gay couple. What’s more, there is plenty of support available. If you are interested in adoption, seek that help out to give you a boost.

INSEMINATION

This is the next most popular option, and it is particularly popular among gay couples in recent times. Insemination is the use of a donor’s sperm to bring about the pregnancy. For this reason, it is particularly popular among lesbian couples who wish to conceive. There are, additionally, many different variations on this, and therefore many options available. A lesbian couple might choose for one (or both) partners to be inseminated with donor sperm. Alternatively, they might decide upon an IVF option. There are many different possibilities here. For example, you could use the eggs of one partner, along with donated sperm, and implant it into the other partner. Or vice versa, of course.

On the other hand, you could use the eggs of one partner, and donor sperm, and implant into a surrogate. Or donor eggs and sperm could be implanted into one of the partners. There are many different possibilities, and that is great news for the couple. It means that, regardless of their situation, it is likely that some form of IVF is available and possible to fulfill their wishes. This makes IVF a great boon to lesbian couples who want to have a baby everywhere.

With the likes of the lesbian IVF program at HRC Fertility, lesbian couples can be sure that there is an option to suit their needs and biologies.

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SURROGACY

Surrogacy is quite possibly one of the first that people tend to think of. While in the past it has been used successfully for couples with infertility problems, its use has now increased. Now, it is just as useful for gay couples who want to have a baby. Surrogacy is a vital and useful way for gay couples to fulfill their dreams of parenthood. One of the great things about it is that it is well-established as a method. This means that finding a surrogate should not be too much hassle for most couples. There are plenty of trustworthy professionals to help you along the entire process. This certainly helps with maintaining some peace of mind throughout the process. Like adoption, the surrogacy process can take a while. But the results are normally pretty positive.

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Another great thing about surrogacy is that the medicine is so advanced that the pregnancy chances are now very high. What’s more, surrogate mothers are usually well-screened, so you can trust that everything is above board. Nonetheless, no method is perfect, and there are some potential downsides which you should consider well first.

For example, many couples find that the whole process can put a little bit of strain on things. This is simply because of the huge amount of emotions involved in a process such as this. This is something to be on guard for. What’s more, surrogacy is often quite expensive, so you might need to take that into consideration beforehand. There is also the issue of a lack of control. As you are not carrying the baby, you might feel that things are beyond you a little. This is a common feeling, and it should pass. But it can be quite a strong feeling to start with, so prepare yourself for it.

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Regardless of what method you decide to go for, here’s hoping that the process is as smooth and painless as possible. One thing is for sure: it will be worth it all at the end.

Written By

"If someone asked you about me, about what I do for a living, it's to 'weave words'," says Kiki Tan, who has been a writer "for as long as I care to remember." With this, this one writes about... anything and everything.

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