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Op-Ed

The gayest moment of my life… so far

Ronel Angeles: “People have often asked me: ‘Why do you feel the need to come out?’ For me, it’s simple. It is to see past the pretentions, and have a clearer view of what my role is in this universe.”

At the age of 12, I came out to my parents. I didn’t know what to expect. But I did anyway because it felt right. Coming out was a liberating moment for me particularly because even at a very young age, I already had the courage to be who I am.

That moment – when my parents accepted me for who I am – was, for a while, the gayest moment of my life.

But fast forward numerous years later, when I was traveling kilometers away from home (in Angeles City) to attend a gathering of LGBT people in Metro Manila. It wasn’t a party per se; but a night of spoken words with LGBT participants expressing themselves about their being LGBT. They did not seem to care about the dictates of society.

It was a first for me – to be with lots of people like me. And it felt like coming out again. I was anxious, not knowing what to expect. But I was willing to have the experience, willing to listen.

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The night passed swiftly, and realization really only dawned on me much, much later.

At 2:30AM, I was seated at a bus station, waiting for the next trip back to Angeles. I started thinking that having come out, I have felt alone. Every day, I have been asking myself why I felt like I was sitting in a cold room, hearing nothing but the beating of my heart, feeling numbness envelop my hands. I always had this anxiety even when I was young, this fear of being alone all the time.

But now I realized that I was never alone. By putting myself in that room full of LGBT people, I came out again.

I was with people like me.

People have often asked me: “Why do you feel the need to come out?”

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For me, it’s simple. It is to see past the pretentions, and have a clearer view of what my role is in this universe.

And that coming out may be done on a one-on-one basis (as I did with my parents), or simply by finding your LGBT self while surrounded by others like you.

Would I recommend coming out? Yes, come out. It’s a way for you to be the best that you can be.

I now consider April 9 as the date when I came out – again. I was not sweating it out on the dance floor, or kissing a guy as our hearts beat in rhythm. I was listening to words about being LGBT; words that –when uttered- made those who said them feel safe while owning up their identities. It made them feel safe; and I felt safe, too.

Watching the stars while waiting for my ride home, I felt happy experiencing the gayest moment of my life… so far.

Written By

Ronel C. Angeles - who is taking up Bachelor of Arts in Communication at Holy Angel University in Angeles City - prides himself of his willingness to learn to be really, really good at what he does (and, oh, he’s also a consistent dean’s lister - Ed). He is now trying to do this, exactly, as Outrage Magazine’s Pampangueño correspondent, as he masters his craft even as he also learns more about the LGBT community and the best ways he can help promote equal rights for all. Expect to see more of him around…

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