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I discovered my BF’s partee-mates, and I have this burning desire to publicly name them

My partner of over four years has been trying to stop using drugs for weeks, when – at least he said to me – a partee-mate, one who allegedly provided him meth for free so long as he gets fucked for two to three nights nonstop, allegedly sent a message. It was the usual come-on: “Come over for free meth; just fuck.”

So the relapse happened.

He disappeared for three days and two nights again. As it was in the past, in those days, he was completely silent. The silence, I know, was because the parter-mate kept him too occupied (and too high) to even think of people worrying about him. Those days when he was completely under the partee-mate’s control, to be used and abused, and then spit out after the partee-mate tired of his body.

And then he came home. Full of remorse. Again.

Though this time, stressing that he’s really serious about quitting, he gave details about his alleged partee-mates. A move, he said, emphasizing his need for help to deal with these people. One, he said, allegedly contacted him in Telegram, and another allegedly incessantly contacted him in Viber (though the guy also has a Telegram account). Both are actually members of a bigger meth-using group organizing partees (gay and bi orgies with the participants using drugs) via gay dating apps Grindr and Romeo, and messaging apps Telegram and Viber.

And so I have the details about the alleged partee-mates.

And aside from the numbers… I now have faces of these people who I abhor to say have not been helping a person wanting to stay away from meth. People who, instead, use this same meth to keep this same person hooked so that he’s under their control.

And I am angry, and yet in a quandary.

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I have choices to consider.

  1. I can report them to authorities. But a former addicted friend told me, somewhat bluntly, that meth is a favored drug by these people because signs of it disappear from the body in just a few days. So unless I have them captured during or right after a session, this then becomes a he-said versus he-said occurrence.

    This is apparently an issue particularly since their partee-mates won’t squeal on them (I conversed with some partee-goers to unmask these people, and as expected, they protected fellow addicts; it’s a tight knit drug addicted community, see…) so finding witnesses could be tricky (unless I get rid of this component by having them caught in the act of using… which I could, perhaps, do too).

  2. I could just publicly share info about them. I started investigating, and I now know personal details about these people – e.g. their full names, socmed accounts, where they work, family members, personal photographs, et cetera. I can just… put all these out in public.

    There’s no malicious intention here, just a call for investigation, really, to ascertain what these people are doing, REALLY DOING. Because they actually also openly flaunt their drug use, so… why hasn’t anything been done about them yet or at all?

  3. Perhaps try to appeal to their good sides… if there’s any? Stress that their decision to use drugs is their personal choice, particularly knowing of the consequences of their drug use. But dragging people with you in that destructive path you’re taking is a no-no. So please… stop dragging my partner with you.

Any and all of these choices have consequences. Not just to me and my partner, but even to these alleged partee-goers. In two of these choices, I could even ruin lives, and it’s not something – as angry as I am now with them – that I aim to do. A life’s a life, no matter how fucked up it may be (and even if it’s being lived to ruin other lives), so… yeah… Blame the stupid “Christian” upbringing…

And so I am at a loss on what I’d choose to do.

I just know I want to help my partner. This one, at least, is very clear to me. This is what’s of utmost importance to me.

And so I dilly dally (hopefully not too long) as I live through this impact of drug addiction, a colossal issue that’s truly gravely affecting the gay and bi communities even if the LGBTQIA community (particularly in the Philippines) may not talk about this (even if we really should).

I’ll revisit this. Perhaps even unmask these alleged drug addicts ruining another person’s life. And join me when I do as this living-through-drug-addiction continues for me…

Written By

Frolic Lopez - a pen name, quite apparently - used to be (predominantly) sapiosexual (that is, he used to predominantly find intelligence sexually attractive/arousing). But then... life happened, and he discovered that he should be more 'trysexual', more open to possibilities to experience everything life can offer. He now writes - and shares - about everything life throws his way.


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