This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Jela Mae Santos, 18, recalled already being effeminate even when she was just five years old. “By the time I was eight, I was already wearing dresses, panties, stuff like that,” she said. “I eventually started using lipstick, putting on make-up when I went to school.”
But Jela Mae – the youngest of nine kids – didn’t have it easy. “Family members asked why I used lipstick. I said it’s not lipstick; just the stain of lollipop. I also used to go with my female friends. A neighbor reported me to my parents, saying: ‘Your child is a fag.’ My elder brothers couldn’t accept that I’m gay. They wanted me to have my own kids, my own family. If I went out, they used to hit me, told me I just looked for men. I used to tell them I was just in a neighbor’s place, where I slept. Or tinkered with my cell phone. They never believed me. The boys in the neighborhood also reported to them. ‘Your gay sibling was wandering.’”
Jela Mae said she remained true to herself. “I didn’t listen to them because in my heart I’m really like this.”
Besides, they eventually accepted her. “Because I now also help provide for the needs of the family.”
Jela Mae said she remained true to herself. “I didn’t listen to them because in my heart I’m really like this.”
Jela Mae studied high school, but then stopped at Grade 10. “I didn’t complete Grade 12. My family really has nothing.”
No matter the not-that-easy path she encountered while growing up, Jela Mae still thinks “it’s fine to be gay in Cebu. I’m also used to it.”
Now, as she does odd jobs, the goal is for her to self-actualize. “I also want to be a woman, to have my male appendage removed. This is why I came to Cebu to look for money to take care of myself. I am amazed by my trans friends who already modified their bodies. I get insecure as I want to be a woman. But I don’t have enough money yet. I also need money because I have a family to support.”
Jela Mae is somewhat pessimistic when it comes to love. “Guys will stay with you when you have money. If you have nothing, they won’t do anything with you.”
Finding love is hard for a transgender person in Cebu, said Jela Mae. In her experience, “I don’t have a BF now since the guy just used me for money. He turned me into his source of money. He was a womanizer. We took a loan to buy a motorcycle. I stopped that. Because he was just getting money from me. He was just there when I had money.”
And so – because of this experience – Jela Mae is somewhat pessimistic when it comes to love. “Guys will stay with you when you have money. If you have nothing, they won’t do anything with you.”
For younger LGBTQIA – particularly transgender – people, Jela Mae said “I hope your family is okay with you being effeminate. Whatever you want, such as if you want to be manly, continue with that. I also wasn’t accepted in the past. They will eventually realize, ‘Our child is really LGBTQIA. We’ll just accept this child because he already lives as LGBTQIA. This child already wears dresses, and so on.’”
“I don’t care if people judge me for being LGBTQIA. You just ignore people who taunt you. Because we didn’t do anything wrong.”
She added: “I don’t care if people judge me for being LGBTQIA. You just ignore people who taunt you. Because we didn’t do anything wrong. If LGBTQIA people aren’t on Earth, there’d be no enjoyment. Gay people… some trans people, this also makes them happy. They do things to make others happy.”
And to people who may continue to frown upon LGBTQIA community members, “if they can’t accept us, then they just shouldn’t hurt LGBTQIA people. Us gays, we really help. We want to help our families. This is why we need to earn; why we enter these jobs,” Jela Mae ended.
