Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

#KaraniwangLGBT

Looking for love and acceptance in Balayan

#Gay man Eddie boy Soriano used to experience beating from family members who wanted him to turn #straight. He continues to look for love from #heterosexual men, and belongingness in the #LGBTQIA community, as he wants people to remember “to never think we are a plague on society.”

This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

“I hope we don’t judge people who belong to the LGBTQIA community because we’re also humans that should be accepted. Just because we’re gays or lesbians from the LGBTQIA community …you can already discriminate against us. Never think we are a plague on society. Don’t think that since we also do things.”

So said Eddie boy Soriano, 29 years old from Balayan, Batangas.

Eddie boy was around 13 when he knew he’s gay. “I knew this because I preferred playing ‘Chinese garter’, and I already had male crushes.”

The third of four kids (he’s also the youngest son), Eddie boy’s parents were not accepting of his sexual orientation at first. “Initially, they forced me to be more masculine. They used to beat me, hit me with various things. I also experienced being hit with a chair to force me to show them I am a masculine person.”

This is based on the erroneous assumption, of course, that one’s gender expression reflects one’s sexual orientation – i.e. a heterosexual man is supposed to be masculine, and a heterosexual woman is supposed to be feminine; while gay men act feminine, and a lesbian women act masculine.

“Initially I tried showing to them I can be masculine. I even tried playing basketball,” Eddie boy said. “But I really couldn’t force myself to be a heterosexual man. In my heart I felt feminine.”

HATE IN THE COMMUNITY

“I experienced a lot of discrimination at school. Like when I passed people, they taunted me with ‘Faggot! Faggot! Faggot!’ In the male comfort room, the others avoided me. Maybe they thought I’d take a peek at them while there,” he recalled.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Eddie boy also recalled that a teacher told him not to mind the haters.

“’Use them as inspiration to better yourself, and show them you’re not a lowly gay person’,” she said to him.

It helped, of course, that “they also told the other students not to discriminate gay men like me.”

In hindsight, “Yes it’s difficult to be part of the LGBTQIA community in Batangas. People still discriminate against you. They throw a lot of nasty words at you; that you’re a faggot. Words like that.”

“Initially I tried showing to them I can be masculine. I even tried playing basketball,” Eddie boy said. “But I really couldn’t force myself to be a heterosexual man. In my heart I felt feminine.”

MAKING A CAREER

Eddie boy didn’t finish school, ending up working in salons and catering companies. Both industries – i.e. beauty industry and food industry – suffered due to COVID-19. “But I moonlight in beauty parlors, offering hair rebond service, for example,” he said.

His father already passed away, while his mother now has another family.

But – while living with a sister – “they now accept me.” Nonetheless, “for them to accept me, I showed them I won’t be a burden to them. I showed them that just because I’m gay, it doesn’t mean I’m useless. I continue showing them I work hard.”

There is, nonetheless, this pressure to help out in the expenses at home. “There’s also pressure to help out because our youngest is now a fourth year college student. Sometimes I also think that when this sibling needs something, then I should be able to help this sibling.

In hindsight, “Yes it’s difficult to be part of the LGBTQIA community in Batangas. People still discriminate against you. They throw a lot of nasty words at you; that you’re a faggot. Words like that.”

LOVING STRAIGHT MEN

“I just came from a break-up,” he smiled.

In retrospect, “For me, it’s hard to find love in Batangas. Because we know that a gay man’s love is short-lived,” Eddie boy said.

He anchors his observation on gay-heterosexual men relationships.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

“A lot of straight men only look for quick gratification from gay men. Just because a gay guy’s kind, they abuse him,” he said, so that “out of 100, only one, two or three heterosexual men will truly love us. I remain hopeful; I continue searching.”

To date, he already had five straight-identifying boyfriends.

“I don’t think I can love another gay person. But people told me that when you love another gay guy, the relationship lasts longer. But I have no plans to try being in a relationship with another gay man,” he said.

Still, “for me, as a gay man, I give in when my partner already has a girlfriend. You know you can’t win as a gay man because a straight man will look for a woman. This has been my mindset.”

Also, all the same, “I’m looking for one who’ll truly love me. Because it’s painful when people always hurt you.”

RAINBOW FAMILY

Eddie boy has learned some lessons from older LGBTQIA people.

“A lesson I learned from older LGBTQIA people is not to just cave in to what men want. They also taught me that… before others can respect me, I need to respect myself first,” he said.

This engagement with other members of the LGBTQIA community highlighted for him the relevance of having a more formalized organization for LGBTQIA people wherever they may be.

“The relevance of having LGBTQIA organizations in any place is it allows us to show people we still have the capacity to be happy,” he said.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

For Eddie boy, “an issue the LGBTQIA community needs to focus on is the discrimination done by many against us. Like when we pass them, and they yell: ‘Faggot! Faggot!’ Just because they’re gay, you can call them ‘Faggot!’ As humans, we also get hurt,” he said.

“I don’t think I can love another gay person. But people told me that when you love another gay guy, the relationship lasts longer. But I have no plans to try being in a relationship with another gay man,” he said.

WORDS TO LIVE BY

Eddie boy’s message to younger LGBTQIA people is to “show them that even if we are LGBTQIA, we have use in society. We need to show what we really are so they don’t discriminate against us. And don’t do anything that will ruin our image.”

And to mothers and fathers who don’t accept LGBTQIA people, “we need to gradually accept that our kid may be LGBTQIA. This way, your kid won’t lose his/her/their way. We need to accept them so we can straighten the path they’re taking,” Eddie boy ended.

“We need to gradually accept that our kid may be LGBTQIA. This way, your kid won’t lose his/her/their way. We need to accept them so we can straighten the path they’re taking,” Eddie boy ended.

Advertisement
Advertisement

Like Us On Facebook

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE

NEWSMAKERS

Football fans in Mexico could be given five-year bans from stadiums if they are found to have made anti-gay chants. This was announced by...

NEWSMAKERS

LGBTQ-supportive school policies and practices are significantly associated with improved psychosocial health outcomes among both LGB and heterosexual students.

NEWSMAKERS

COVID-19 has disproportionately impacted employment for minority populations resulting in higher unemployment rates and healthcare concerns.

NEWSMAKERS

White Castle Whisky is deviating from using someone assigned female at birth for its "calendar girl" with 2020 White Castle Whisky “gurl” TikTok personality...

Advertisement