My name is Jake.
I am 26 years old.
I am a registered nurse.
And I am a person living with HIV.
It all started when I left my hometown, Iloilo City, to go to Metro Manila to look for a job related to my profession. I didn’t get job offers in spite of the dozens of applications that I submitted to the different hospitals all over Manila and its neighboring districts, so I eventually gave up applying to a hospital, deciding to apply instead for a job in a BPO company. It was, for me, the easiest job to have; I worked there for almost nine months.
During my stay in Manila was also when I was very sexually active. I tried a lot of things – one on one sex, threesomes, orgies, et cetera. I was aware that HIV is here in the Philippines, but I was very confident that I won’t get infected since I’m a nurse and thus equipped with knowledge on how not to get infected. In truth, though, I was driven by my sexual urges, with all that knowledge set aside/thrown away in exchange of LUST.
I got tested for HIV by accident. Prior to the test, I had a sexually transmitted infection that I kept to myself for nearly six months until I couldn’t take it anymore as it caused some minor discomforts that prompted me to finally see a doctor. After a consultation in a private hospital, the attending doctor immediately asked me to get tested for HIV. I followed his request and took the test the same day.
Without the STI, I think that until now I would still have been unaware of my HIV status.
Within a week, the medical technologist informed me that the initial screening turned out positive, and she told me that they will be forwarding it to another hospital ( San Lazaro) for the confirmatory/Western Blot test. I waited for two to three weeks before the result was released.
I can still remember the day when the medical technologist sent me an SMS, saying that I can pick up my HIV result. Hearing her say that made me nervous, but I managed to stay calm and composed as I fixed myself to go and pick-up my test result. I arrived in the place and she greeted me with a smile – one that seemed to assure me that everything is going to be okay. She asked me something before she handed me the result, sealed in an envelope.
“What would your reaction be if it turns out positive?” she asked.
“I seriously don’t know,” I answered.
She discussed several things before she handed me the envelope.
I took hold of it and opened it….
It said REACTIVE for HIV.
I looked at her and handed the result back to her. She explained the test result further. I tried to listen, but I wasn’t, couldn’t. I was just looking at her, nodding but hardly understanding what she was saying. She asked me what I am feeling then. I replied that I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. She patted me on my back, telling me it’s not too late for me yet. She informed me of support groups and also stressed out my need to see an infectious disease doctor for my health evaluation. I told her I’ll do it, and said my goodbye.
On my way out of the hospital I called my best friend. He was anxiously waiting for my result, and as soon as he answered my call, he asked me right away what the result was. I said, “yes, it is POSITIVE; I am HIV positive”. Upon hearing that, he burst into tears, and just as suddenly, tears started to fall from my eyes. Hearing him cry made me so emotional. I was walking along PGH around 2.00PM and I was crying, but I tried to just bend my head to conceal what I was going through from the people around me. I took the MRT to go home, standing there lost to myself, and I was talking to myself that this thing couldn’t be happening, that this could not be possible. Tears started to fall again, but I tried to stop them and just plugged in my earphones to listen to some lively music. It did help a little, I was relieved but still random thoughts about what’s going to happen still run in my head. When I entered my uncle’s house, I went straight to my room and just laid down. I didn’t notice the time even if I was awake, with my mind stuck somewhere else. I wasn’t able to sleep that night and went straight to work. IT WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Even though I was still not emotionally stable at that time, I was able to send an SMS to the guys that I slept with and informed them of my HIV Status. Then, I had two fuck buddies with whom I didn’t use any protection, but there were other guys I slept with, though with protection used. I focused on the two guys, informing them of my status, which put my conscience at ease. Sad to say, that I didn’t get any response from them – if they got themselves tested, or if they have it already, they just didn’t tell me. But for me, what was important was me informing them about my status. HIV testing in the Philippines is voluntary, so I couldn’t force them to take the test.
My family found out about my status several weeks after I was diagnosed. My mother is fond of doing random inspections with my things (she even caught me one time keeping condoms, and she was shocked), and when she inspected my belongings, she saw my confirmatory test result. She then cornered me, asking me to explain what she saw. So I disclosed my status, at the same time that I disclosed to my parents that I am a homosexual.
They had a lot of questions, and I was able to answer them as honestly as I could. They were, I supposed, shocked by my answers.
My mother was the most affected. I saw her cry several times for a week. It was too much for her to take, which may be why she really couldn’t contain her feelings and vented her emotions out to some of my relatives who also knew of my HIV status. With my father, there was not really much of a reaction; I think my dad was very understanding and he knew that there was no place for giving me sermons, so he just kept quiet. Yet, even though I haven’t heard a thing from him, he still showed compassion and his love of me, since he was the only one who accompanied me during weekends at my apartment.
With regards to stigma and discrimination, I did have several experiences. There was a time when my mother bought me my own plate, spoon and fork, and glass. There was a time when it was suggested that I use the restroom of the maid’s quarters. Also, by the time my relatives knew that I tested positive, they were afraid that I might pass the infection to their children, and so they decided to transfer me to an apartment. I stayed there for two months all by myself, with my dad sleeping over on weekends (it became our bonding time, watching movie and also stroll around the malls together).
At first I was angry at them because I thought I didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. But acceptance is a process and you can’t expect everyone to accept you right away knowing your status and the stigma that is attached with it.
Eventually they were able to accept me.
My experiences as a person living with HIV was very challenging because there were a lot of things running in my head, and there were times when I couldn’t sleep and so sometimes just cry because I don’t know what to do.
It took a while before I realized that I have to accept my condition and move on with my life. And ever since then, I became very optimistic in life.
I also started to disclose my status with friends whom I know I can trust, and so far I haven’t got any negative feedback from them. They accepted my condition wholeheartedly, and ever since we became closer.
With the community, I am starting to disclose my status through testimonials. But before that, I make sure that an HIV 101 lecture was done and they were provided with the right information. And right after I tell my story, I entertain their questions and answer them direct to the point and with the facts. I do receive a lot of commendations for speaking out and telling my story, and I feel the warmth of them accepting me for who I am as a person living with HIV.
With regards to disclosing to the community, I believe that through my testimonials, people will be aware that HIV is here and it’s not going anywhere unless we do our part. Education is the most powerful weapon that we have; it’s just not been used properly. With education, we could correct the common misconceptions that contribute to the rise of stigma and discrimination. With consistent advocacy accompanied with people stepping out to share their stories, people will be influenced to create change to themselves and to their communities.
It has been very hard and the pain may have been incomparable at times. But depression is normal; what is important is we have someone who we can hang on to, to share how/what we feel and to just vent out all the emotions that we keep and stored for a long time. You are never alone, there are support groups and people who offer the care and support that we need the most.
Life goes on; we must not dwell long in our past because it would restrain us from reaching our goals in life. It is never too late to achieve those goals, and the impossible are still possible if we have trust in ourselves.
Denying or pretending that nothing is wrong would only lead to complications and even death. Treatment is available, accessible, and most services are free and they help prolong your life. Paired with healthy lifestyle, frequent visits to your doctor, and a positive outlook, you can live a normal life and will even live long.
Disclosure still depends on the person. We should not rush them; instead we give them time to think. Also we can refer them to a licensed HIV counselor that could help them out in disclosing to their parents and other significant people if they want to.
Acceptance starts within you. Learn to accept yourself first before disclosing your HIV status. You should always be strong and full of optimism.
I may be HIV+ but that still doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with you
This is something every PLHIV needs to learn. That we are still “worth it”. Forget these notions of you being a “damaged good” or a “dirty person” or banalities given us along those lines. Because my HIV status is just one facet of my outrageous (and fabulous) personality; it does not define me.
That was the short sentence I remember telling this guy I used to date.
Okay – to backtrack – I met a guy while I was in Northern Mindanao. We dated for a while, and – at least I thought – things between us went smoothly for a while. I’d say he wasn’t bad-looking even if he looked somewhat common. He had one of those “if you stay long enough, I can teach myself to maybe even like you” face.
And then one night, we became more intimate than the usual. So I had to stop what we were doing (before we progressed further). And then – after prepping him up by first discussing with him his views about HIV and people living with HIV – I told him I had something important to tell him (if we were to advance what we had).
Thus that short sentence.
His face immediately changed; from what I saw was longing to… shocked. He couldn’t even say a word. And when he was finally able to utter a word, it was just to tell me that “I forgot I had to be elsewhere.”
The alibi was lame. But what made it more insulting was that I wasn’t even that into him to begin with; he was just a possible lay (if it came to that)
But that moment taught me two important things.
On one hand, how the sexuality of so many PLHIVs are tempered by their status.
I have frequently heard of medical practitioners who tell PLHIVs to “already stop having sex now that you’re HIV-positive; dadami pa kayo (you’d abet in increasing the number of PLHIVs)” – all too obviously unaware of safer sexual practices and U=U, among others. Worse, this sentiment is shared by a lot of PLHIVs themselves, who see their status as a “punishment”, and the only “cure” is to stop having sex altogether. Oh, please!
On the other hand, recognizing that being sexual doesn’t disappear (and doesn’t need to vanish) with being HIV-positive, there seems to be this supposition of PLHIVs being “desperate”.
That guy I dated, for instance, had every right NOT to have sex with me (it’s called power over one’s body); but that he had to lie just to get away from me was – to admit the truth – not only discourteous but even insulting. I suppose particularly because… I wasn’t even that into him.
Here’s the thing: Me living with HIV means just that – that I have HIV. But it doesn’t mean that I’ve lost my (yes!) sexual appetite and (for that matter) taste/preferences/standards on who to do it with.
And I believe this is something every PLHIV needs to learn. That we are still “worth it”. Forget these notions of you being a “damaged good” or a “dirty person” or banalities given us along those lines. Because my HIV status is just one facet of my outrageous (and fabulous) personality; it does not define me. And if (some) guys can’t see that, well…
Because remember dearie, just because I am HIV-positive still doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with you.
Women are not ‘disgusting’; gay men are just not into them…
Why the need to demean women, or express disgust over their body parts, when we can just say, “No, we’re not into women”; or “I’m a man; but I’m (also) into men”?
Time to unlearn sub-/unconscious misogyny.
Here’s the thing: With the demise of Christine Dacera, and with predominantly gay (and perhaps bi) men considered as suspects by the error-filled PNP (Philippine National Police), many members of the LGBTQIA community surfaced to defend members of the rainbow family.
Background info: Christine Dacera, a flight attendant, celebrated her New Year’s Eve with gay/bi friends in a hotel in Makati City. On New Year’s Day, her body was found lifeless. The PNP (pre-empting everything) pushed for questionable narratives – e.g. that she was “raped” (even if the autopsy report couldn’t validate this), and then committed inept acts – e.g. announcing the case to be “solved” when it really wasn’t, jailing three of the people who claimed to have helped Christine that night (with a judge ordering them to release the three; and then basically telling them to, yes, do their job properly), embalming the body before another (independent) autopsy can be done, etc.
It didn’t help PNP at all when one of its top brass stated that “gay men are still men” (Yes, sir, they are; DUH!) and insinuated that gayness can, basically, be cured by alcohol (that is, they’d start having sex with, or even rape women when they’re drunk).
Going online, among the statements of “support” for the gay/bi suspects, however, you’d find statements like “yuck”, gross ang vagina”, “babae, yuck”, “kadiri“, and so on. All these supposedly refer to what gay men “feel” when with women.
And let’s stop spewing these misogynistic statements.
Misogyny – that hatred of, aversion to, or prejudice against women (Merriam-Webster, 2021) – can be blatant. But it can also be “invisible”. And get this, even members of minority sectors – such as those from the LGBTQIA community – can be misogynistic.
This seeming disdain for women – or their body parts – is actually misogynistic.
If you think this I am making a big “leap” with this claim, consider that in Psychology Today, Dr. Berit Brogaard wrote that “in most cases, misogynists do not even know that they hate women.”
After all, why the need to demean women, or express disgust over their body parts, when we can just say, “No, we’re not into women”; or “I’m a man; but I’m (also) into men”?
The antiquated – and, well, fatuous – macho culture in PNP has been harming members of the LGBTQIA community. Let’s not become part of the problem by becoming just as antiquated and, yes, just as fatuous.
To stand united, we also need to watch our tongues…
Our bigger enemy here is injustice… to everyone involved (i.e. Christine; her loved ones; and her friends, many of them treated – even without proof – with prejudice). And how this injustice can be perpetuated even by those in positions of power. But just as important is for us to stay… united against these abuses. And part of this is not to become sources of, well, discrimination ourselves.
I was 28 the first time I was told I’m old. We were in a bar in Malate (the former gay capital of the City of Manila); and then – while partying with friends – this 21-year-old gay guy who was with a friend said: “You’re too old to be in a bar; yuck!”.
Ageism – which refers to prejudice or discrimination on the basis of age – is an issue in the LGBTQIA community. It is an issue that has been tackled repeatedly in the past; though, admittedly, perhaps not as much in the Philippines.
In 2009, for instance, Malcolm Sargeant published “Age discrimination, sexual orientation and gender identity: UK/US perspectives” in Equal Opportunities International”, which noted that LGBTQIA elders suffer from particular discrimination when compared to that suffered by elders in general, and heterosexual elders in particular.
It is, therefore, not surprising that elders have been calling for inclusion; something that Michael Adams, CEO of SAGE (an American organization dedicated to LGBTQ+ elders), said that should be tackled. “Over and over what we hear again from our elders is that they feel invisible and forgotten by the rest of the community, and that includes our younger people… And what we’ve seen is that it’s so powerful when older and younger people come together and engage as activists,” Adams was quoted as saying by Out.com.
These two points – ageism, and the need to dump it if we want to move forward TOGETHER – was re-emphasized to me after hearing from some of PNP’s suspects in the demise of Christine Dacera.
As FYI: Christine, a flight attendant, partied with mostly gay/bi friends during New Year’s Eve. She passed away on New Year’s Day; and the PNP has been “forcing” a narrative that she was “raped”, with a high-ranking policeman even claiming that when gay men get drunk, they “also become men”.
This one’s not to talk about PNP messing everything up; PNP’s assertion that “gay men are still men” (based on this antiquated misconception that “gay men are not ‘real’ men”); PNP’s erroneous belief that alcohol is a “cure” to being LGBTQIA (Hello, CBCP, send some my way!); and PNP’s insinuation that, yes, all men are rapists.
Instead, this is to focus on how “damage” can come from within the LGBTQIA community. And we really need to be aware of this; and even take steps to deal with this.
Now back to ageism and how this happens from within.
When ABS-CBN News interviewed some of the initial suspects (who were released when the court told PNP it, basically, didn’t do its job properly to pin these people down), one of them stated (off-handedly, if I may add; proceed to 56:25 in the YT video below) that they mingled with “mga bakla” in a separate room, but that this room had “matatanda/bakla na may mga edad na” so they may as well move to their room/a different room since “wala namang pogi dito eh“.
Discriminating may have been unintentional (ageism, and yes, lookism); but it’s still there.
The suspects’ names have been unnecessarily dragged by the PNP which committed errors after errors after errors when it dealt with this case – e.g. it prematurely declared the case “solved”; it claimed there was “rape” when the initial autopsy report did not back this claim; its key people even threatened that if the suspects did not willingly surrender, then they should expect the worse (and yes, we all know what THAT meant); and it basically prevented another autopsy from being done to the body when it had the body embalmed sans informing the family, etc.
Our bigger enemy here is injustice… to everyone involved (i.e. Christine; her loved ones; and her friends and acquaintances, many of them treated – even without proof – with prejudice). And how this injustice can be perpetuated even by those in positions of power.
But just as important is for us to stay… united against these abuses.
And part of this is not to become sources of, well, discrimination ourselves. Because how can we stand united if we discriminate against people we hope will actually support us (e.g. the LGBTQIA community as a whole, including the elders and, yes, the “not pogi“)?
So let’s be more self-aware as we start dealing with this…
About sex work (and prostitution) among Filipinos at the time of Covid-19
Various Facebook GCs (group chats) highlight how Covid-19 may have pushed many Filipinos into the sex industry. And yet – except in these GCs – this is largely ignored.
Facebook just prompted me to “join” three GCs (group chats) related to sex work (and even prostitution). One is for “mga lalaking bayaran“, another for masseurs with ES (extra service; the extra being the sexual favor), and another for “for hire daks Pinoys”.
These aren’t exclusive GCs, actually; and they aren’t new, either. Many others like them abound in Facebook (among other social networking sites).
But upon checking, what struck me with these GCs this time around is Covid-19’s effect/s on the (current) memberships. So many are in this because of desperation. For instance, it is not uncommon to see comments like: “Nawalan lang ng trabaho; sino gusto tumulong para may ipa-Pasko kaming mag-aama“; or “Para tulong lang sa online classes.”
This is another facet of the sex industry (and even prostitution) as exacerbated by the pandemic.
And this face – while at least tackled overseas – isn’t really openly discussed in the Philippines…
IN THE SHADOWS
Prostitution is illegal in the Philippines, this is worth stressing. Penalties vary, up to life imprisonment for those involved in trafficking (covered by the Anti-Trafficking in Persons Act of 2003).
No, the country doesn’t distinguish between sex work and prostitution; here, those in the sex industry are largely considered as in need of being “saved”. Not just the body, too; but also the “soul”.
But – get this – prostitution is actually openly tolerated – e.g. let’s stop pretending we don’t know what many GROs actually do; what masseurs offer when they say “E.S.”; and that there are local government units that give workers (of bars, spas, massage parlors, KTV bars, and so on) “pink cards” to guarantee that they are STI-free and are “sexually clean/safe”.
And really, except for the occasional “saving” of trafficked people (who are then turned over to the Department of Social Welfare and Development) we see in TV, the deafening silence on this is what’s remarkable.
This silence is… worrisome.
Particularly because this continues to happen; and yes (yet again), exacerbated by Covid-19.
What the GC members I’ve come across in Facebook are doing aren’t new, actually. The Philippines – dearies – isn’t excluded from the “oldest profession in the world.” This, obviously, includes male sex workers (befitting the handling of this topic here).
Consider that in 2003, the University of the Philippines’ Population Institute and Demographic Research and Development Foundation released the 2002 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study (YAFS3) that noted that about 11% of sexually active young people aged 15-24 did it with someone of the same sex. Of this figure, 87% are men who have sex with men (MSM; meaning they may not self-identify as gay or bi, but have sex with other men).
Here’s what’s worth stressing in UP’s study: Almost half of those who had same-sex encounters also engaged in commercial sex. Approximately 19% paid for sex, while 11% received payment for sexual favors.
At that time, Dr. Corazon Raymundo, project coordinator of YAFS3, stated that it appears that in a fast changing world, the “usual norms and expectations do not hold true anymore.”
There are too many interconnected issues that should be considered here…
There’s poverty; and how this forces people to do things they may not otherwise do.
There’s the continuing lack of government support for its people; otherwise, those who do not want to sell themselves wouldn’t be forced to do so – e.g. selling oneself for “online classes”; because of loss of employment; etc.
There’s the pervasive ignorance re the sex industry; this is what leads to the abuse of those involved in it because – since they are considered illegal to begin with – they can’t even access State support if they are abused, etc.
There’s the impact of tech on the industry.
There’s the ongoing hypocrisy re this – e.g. church people want to “save” sex workers; but ask them to give these same people job in the church, and start counting how many reasons they can come up with just to (basically) say “No way!”.
There’s the continuing “punishment” of those in the sex industry; and yet… look at how the patrons get away with “buying” (e.g. the GCs in Facebook blatantly haggle with the service providers, demanding for the absurd while asking to lower the prices).
There’s the continuing ignoring of the sexual and reproductive health concerns of Filipinos.
There’s the silence re this; it’s staring us in the face, and we don’t even talk about this.
And on, and on, and on we go…
In the end, this needs to be tackled. No matter your angle” – e.g. because it inadvertently signifies the adverse effects of Covid-19 on poorer sectors of society; because it highlights government inaction/misaction; because it needs to be monitored as a health issue; because you’re self-righteous and you want to “save” them all; etc. – this shouldn’t, couldn’t be ignored. Covid-19 is re-emphasizing what was already there; and so please… just address this already…
Enter the alter world
Welcome to the alter world, where people tweet and retweet their or other people’s sexual engagements. Though often maligned, it actually also highlights formation of friendships, info sharing, emotional support, and even provision of a ‘safe space’ for those who wish to express their sexuality.
Some time back, Kurt (a.k.a. @MoanerBottom) opened a Twitter account as a form of revenge. “I found out that my ex had an ‘alter’ account and he was fooling around with different people,” he recalled. And so “I wanted to prove to him that I can also do the same thing.”
Little did Kurt know at that time that he would become a mainstay in the alter world/community. A few months since opening his own alter account, he garnered over 130,000 followers, all of them craving – and even waiting – for what he would post, usually dominated by sexual encounters (“kalat videos,” he calls them) with mostly students, including a basketball varsitarian “who likes to penetrate deeply”, a Blue Eagle who allowed for his orgasm to be videoed, a Tamaraw who also allowed himself to be videoed as he orgasmed, and bending for a Red Lion.
“I must admit that I am a shy person in real life,” Kurt said. But “here in Twitter, it is like I have less shame and more courage to do kalat (contextually: shameless) posts and videos.”
Kurt is, obviously, only one of the people – not just Filipinos – with alter accounts, which many like him, say is similar to a “pseudonym — like Batman to Bruce Wayne, or Superman to Clark Kent; where people can have a separate account from their primary accounts, usually used to express themselves more ‘wildly’ yet more ‘discreetly’/anonymously.”
And so welcome to the alter world, where people tweet and retweet their or other people’s sexual “collaborations”, hookups, fetishes, fantasies and social engagements, with the audiences often never really knowing the content generators/producers/distributors.
That the alter world is often dominated by sexual content is a given.
Onin (a.k.a. @Onin_NuezPH), for example, sees his alter account “as an avenue for me to express myself and my sexuality. I am able to let everyone know within the community about my sexual desires without the fear of being judged.”
Looking back, it was actually “a friend who is an alter too introduced me in this alter community,” Onin said.
One of the early instances Onin trended was when some of his nude photos circulated on Twitter. Many got curious, asking the person who previously reacted or shared the photos if there were more.
It whetted Onin’s interest; and so he started posting more photos and short videos. His followers quickly increased, reaching more than 145,000.
Taking pride that he is one of the more talked about alters out there, Onin has produced content that may seem trivial… but these have been keeping the alter community and lurkers interested, from balancing a shampoo bottle on top of his erect penis, sharing a photo of his endowment while asking his followers if they want to kneel in front him, a comparison of the length of a deodorant spray with his penis, wearing a see-through underwear, and teasing his latest sexual collaboration.
Standing out in a platform where hundreds (even thousands) of alters saturate news feeds is a challenge. After all, it is not an easy feat to attract someone’s attention — what more to make them like, share, or follow an account.
For FUCKER Daddy (a.k.a. @ako_daddy), therefore, it all comes down to the type of content being posted, not just being well-endowed, willing to perform bareback sex, or how often the face is shown.
A licensed professional who has a son, FUCKER Daddy started as a “lurker’ (i.e. one who lurks, or just consumes content/views profiles) on Twitter. At that time, he wrote “my real-life sex stories, hoping it will pick up from there,” he recalled. “Unfortunately, alter peeps seem to be more into live action.”
And so FUCKER Daddy met someone from Telegram, without realizing that the person was “sort of (a) big (personality) on Twitter.” This guy discretely took a short clip of their sexual encounter, and then posted it on his alter account. “It was hit. (And) the rest is history.”
By August 2019, FUCKER Daddy said his inbox started receiving direct messages from different users – e.g. asking for more, congratulating him, wanting to collaborate, and so on.
He actually now has several sex videos in his cam. But he still doesn’t make recording the primary thing when engaging in sex “as my goal is to have hookups; videos are only secondary.”
Besides, he said that “I do not want to spoil the moment for sex and think only of it as merely for Twitter.”
But every time FUCKER Daddy posts a video, he said his over 95,000 followers respond to them “with enthusiasm, getting more curious and intrigued.”
Making a living
The concept of alter, however, isn’t set in stone.
For one, there are actually alter accounts whose owners prefer to use their real names and show their faces (like Onin), mixing their personal and private lives along the way. Following the Batman/Bruce Wayne and Superman/Clark Kent analogy, there are also people who follow the Tony Stark/Iron Man mantra, i.e. openly announcing that they are one and the same.
Secondly, monetizing is actually possible.
Also, one may be part of the alter community without knowing it – i.e. one engages in alter activities without recognizing it as such.
“I do not even know that I am involved in the world of alter,” John said, adding that he did not even know what the term meant until it was presented to him. Instead, his account is used to “promote my RentMen and OnlyFans accounts”, just as he also promotes his availability for “personal appointment to people.”
John actually used to work as a brand ambassador, but because of this change in his work, he “can no longer work (in) that (field) because I am doing porn.”
He admitted that “this type of thing is double-edged.” On the one hand, “you can earn a great amount of money,” he said, “but there will be sacrifices.”
He noted, for instance, that the perception of people about me changed; most people judge you right away because of what you do, and not because of who you are as a person.”
But he ignores the naysayers; “I do not mind because this job gives more than what I expected!”
Like John, Onin also promotes his JustFor.Fans (JFF) account on Twitter to respond to the requests of his followers.
“They (my followers) want to see me in action and they are willing to subscribe too,” Onin said, with his exclusive content including: he and his partner having sex, and collaborations with other alters. “You will not earn that much, but pretty enough to compensate for the contents that we are posting.”
Not all alters think alike, obviously. FUCKER Daddy, for instance, won’t monetize his content, saying: “I value sex as it was created. I never sell any (videos) because I think it is something that is worth free. I simply treated it as making memories while those (who) watch put up the numbers.”
Behind the handles
The world of alter has actually already caught the attention of researchers.
For instance, in a study by Samuel Piamonte of the Philippine Council for Health Research and Development, Mark Quintos of De La Salle University Manila, and Minami Iwayama of Polytechnic University of the Philippines, it was found that the alter community may seem overtly sexual, but there is more to it than that.
“The sexual aspect of alter is the core of alter, but it has been enriched by more complex social benefits to users such as including formation of new friendships, sharing of information and advocacies, reciprocations of emotional support, and provision of a ‘safe space’ for those who wish to express their sexuality but find that doing so outside of the alter community could be met with stigma from their peers and family.”
Kurt sees his alter account as an avenue for him to tap his inner self and show the Twitter universe his kalat. Onin uses his alter account to broadcast his sexual side (together with his partner). And FUCKER Daddy uses his alter account as “a constant source of info, hookups, convo… and to learn social demographics as well.”
The evolution, indeed, continues.
Hate from within the community
Yes, yes, yes… with increasing numbers of followers, multiple likes and shares, and the creation of alter “celebrities”, this has not been spared from criticisms.
And sadly, said Kurt, at least in the Philippine setting, the prejudice against alters comes from within the community. “Kapuwa LGBT ang nagsisiraan at nagpapataasan sa isa’t-isa,” he said. “I know… that I cannot please everyone (but) for me it is okay, as long as I know that I am not doing anything wrong.”
Perhaps a “surprise” is the audience’s inability to “appreciate” the free content given them, with Kurt noting that there are times when “they are also pissed off with the things I post.”
This seems to contradict the findings of Piamonte, Quintos and Iwayama, since – here – the alter community can become a fearful place, too.
John, like Kurt, noted how people resort to demeaning others when they do not fit preconceived notions. But he just laughs this off, saying: “Do not hate me because I look good and make money (from) it. Life is too short to be a bitter person. If you do not like what we do, then shut the fuck up.”
The Pandora’s box, so to speak has been opened; and lessons learned along the way can just “make you stronger and bring out the best in you,” said Onin, who like many alters, “just focus on my goals.” And it is exactly because of the existence of this interchange – the content creation, and the love-hate reaction to what’s created – that alter is not going to disappear anytime soon (or at all).
Details and photos of sexual encounters were lifted from the Twitter accounts of the interviewees.
Simple but effective tips on how you can better protect trans women
Given that our lives are considered less than a lot of people, it’s easy for trans women to become victims of violence and for the perpetrator to get away with it. So our best defense against any untoward incident is to always think of our security and the security of our friends.
These are simple but effective tips on how you can better protect the trans women in your lives in the context of a night that could go wrong. Given that our lives are considered less than a lot of people, it’s easy for trans women to become victims of violence and for the perpetrator to get away with it.
So our best defense against any untoward incident is to always think of our security and the security of our friends.
If you are hooking up with someone, ALWAYS send a picture of the person you are hooking up with to people you trust with your life. If you are hooking up with someone from a club, bar, or any public place, ask your friend to take your picture with the person you’d be with. This can be de done discreetly or with the permission of the other person. When asking permission, tell the person that you’re taking his/her picture for security purposes.
If you are going to someone else’s house for a booty call, send your GPS location via Whatsapp OR text the address of your location to people you trust.
If you are walking someone home or dropping them off, do not leave until the person is already inside his/her house. Do not let your drunk or high friend go home alone, either invite your friend to your house or accompany them home.
4. “I’M SAFE” CALL/TEXT.
Always demand an “I’m safe” call/text from your friend as soon as they’re home.
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