I need to see a specialist; I have a thyroid issue.
I think my bone’s collapsing; my back is hunched.
Something’s wrong with my face; my jaw feels loose.
Too many pimples; I don’t know why.
My shoulder’s too low; I think my bone’s literally melting.
These are but some of the “observations” that Tar, my partee-going partner, said at various times in the past, since he started attending partees, or drug-induced sex gatherings. These statements usually surface when he’s “coming down” from a two- to three-day session with his drug addicted partee “mates”, those he hangs out with to inject meth and then have nonstop unprotected sex.
Every single time, I explain to him that everything is in his mind.
Well, at least for now… until the incessant drug use will eventually change his body, his health status. And then everything he’s worried about – and maybe even more – will become true.
But for those in relationship with a partee goer, this is “common”/“usual”. I believe it shouldn’t be… but it is. That is: When your partner nitpicks on just about everything, though more particularly things all over his body. That something’s wrong here or there. That this or that isn’t as good as it used to be. And that something has got to be done about that one or the other one.
I noticed that this stems not just from what’s taken, but how the other partee goers “treated” him. Like when he was told he gained weight; or his hair’s too long already; or he has a single pimple on his forehead; and so on and so forth. All these are amplified, and Tar suddenly thinks they’re really, REALLY bad… when they’re really not.
I wish for Tar to realize that, physically, there’s nothing wrong with him.
At least not yet; the addiction could eventually change this.
I want him to know that it’s all in his head; induced by the drugs used, and hammered by his partee “friends” to make him feel so “low” he’d think the only way to be “complete”, to be “better” is to be with them, people like him who, supposedly, understands him because they go through the same shit.
And for as long as the partee-ing continues, this seems like a losing battle. But I love him enough to keep trying…
