While interviewing a sex working Romeo user about his experiences in the sex industry (e.g. how he entered the field, what it is like for him, et cetera), another sex working Romeo user messaged me to ask if I’m interested to hire him.
“1,300,” he stated his price, actually “lower” than what I’ve noted those like him actually ask for when booking clients.
Then he sent three naked photos of himself.
And then he started asking for money (at first PhP200), supposedly for him to buy ulam/viand.
“No,” I said. I haven’t met this person; I am not his client; and I don’t even know him.
He lowered the amount to PhP100.
I still said “no”.
The appeal for pity followed, with him telling me I am not humane for not giving him money for his dinner (added with him being from the province, him being all on his own and away from his family, et cetera).
Then the threats came.
“I will make you popular in social media,” he said. “I will shame you.”
Supposedly, because I am on a gay dating app, I was more interested in kamanyakan/horniness than in helping people (him, in particular). And this didn’t sit well with him, thus the threat to shame me.
Not scared (LOL), but more… analytical, this encounter made me realize key points in my engagements with some in the sex industry in the Philippines.
1. The move of the sex workers online is imminent.
When the Cybercrime Prevention Act was signed into law in 2012, it recognized the emergence of the online world as a new frontier in the fight for… well, basically controlling anything sexual. In fact, the law punishes those engaged in cybersex with prision mayor or a fine of P200,000 to P1 million.
That we’re late is obvious; internet pornography has been popularized, even normalized, since the 1990s.
Nowadays, and particularly for MSM sex workers, there are numerous GCs (group chats) in Facebook, and more than a handful of personal accounts in Twitter and Telegram (cross-promoted in other social networking sites like Facebook, Romeo and Grindr) promoting sex workers and/or their work.
Clients may or may not hire them for physical contacts; but the services (actual yet virtual services, such as oncam shows; or promotion of the services in online channels, to be done in person when an agreement has been made) have moved online already.
It is now common to receive messages from strangers, and even my online “friends” who offer “lifetime access to my Telegram account only for P200”; or “see my sex videos – all 180 of them – for P500”.
2. The government is useless in “handling” the sex industry… particularly online.
Selling sex is illegal in the Philippines – e.g. the Revised Penal Code, enacted in 1930, defined prostitution as the sale, purchase and exchange of any body for sexual exploitation for cash, profit or other considerations/favors. Article No. 341 actually punishes persons engaged in, profits from or pays for prostitution with imprisonment of 8 to 12 years.
Yes, the local definition of those involved in the sex industry tends to be women-centric (e.g. Article No. 202 of the Revised Penal Code punishes women engaged in prostitution with a jail term of one to 30 days, or a fine of up to P20,000).
But yes, men (including men who have sex with men/MSM) are in the sex industry, too; not only as clients but as service providers.
Besides, this focus on women is, EXACTLY, a big part of the government’s failure.
No matter the SOGIESC of those in the sex industry, aside from “raids” done in bathhouses or rundown cinemas, or the “saving” of those in the sex industry with the closing of massage parlors or karaoke/videoke bars, I have yet to encounter efforts to deal with the many layers involved in the sex industry.
For instance:
- Does DepEd (which, under Sara Duterte, has P150 million in confidential and intelligence funds) have efforts to deal with poverty that forces many young people to see their naked photos, videos of themselves masturbating or having sex, et cetera)?
- Are lawmakers (even) interested in making laws that recognize – and not automatically make illegal – sex workers, thereby allowing them to come out of their hiding to access much-needed services (e.g. health-related services, and access to law enforcers if they are abused by clients)?
3. Opportunism is there… from both sides of the fence.
On one hand, there’re practices of clients that ought to be called out, e.g.
- sex with minors (who just happen to be online)
- grooming of kids
- trafficking
- abuse of the position of power (as the one with the power of the purse)
- et cetera
On the other hand, if we actually start considering sex work as work, there’re practices of sex workers that ought to be called out, e.g.
- non-delivery of agreed-upon services
- the shaming to huthot/extort money from people (similar to what that sex worker MSM is trying to do to me in Romeo)
- “pay now, sex later” approach to extort money (again similar to what that sex worker MSM is trying to do to me in Romeo)
- et cetera
4. The lumping of all involved in the sex industry as “prostitutes” is affecting responses.
In December 2021, I spoke with Ms Eda Catabas, member of the Transgender Women’s Group of the Philippine Sex Workers Collective, who said at that time that “when you’re a sex worker, it is common for people to automatically label you as a prostitute”.
As Catabas stressed, it is time to distinguish the two – i.e. one is forced into the situation, the other chooses to be in it. This is a contentious issue – e.g. some feminists who’d argue that all persons in the sex industry are automatically abused; but there are those who’d say that choosing to be in this line of work should be left to individuals, and this, in turn, is empowerment.
All the same, Catabas said that because this is a taboo topic in the Philippines, “we don’t really talk about it” so that “the level of awareness of people about this kind of work has not elevated.”
The word “prostitute” is loaded. And when this is imposed on people, “all the misconceptions linked with the word is forced on people,” Catabas said, adding words closely linked with “prostitute”, from immoral, to bastos, to “not a real work”.
In fact, said Catabas, “that it’s not a work you should be proud of, regardless of the effort, the hard work you exerted while doing sex work. (Similarly, you) can’t be proud of the (fruits of your labor) – for example, you were able to buy a house, you sent your siblings to school, you became a breadwinner, you feed your relatives. But (people expect that) you should just shut up about the fruits of your labor,” she said.
Truly, there is a need to revisit the way we discuss the sex industry, and those involved in it.
5. The sex negative lessons taught to Filipinos is making worse the victimization of everyone who is sexual at all (including those in the sex industry).
Yeah, yeah… many people tend to look down on sex workers (heck, this is why people snicker when saying “prosti” or “Japayuki” or “GRO”). And this also touches on how negative we treat people open about their sexuality. Blame the culture; blame religion; blame… whatever.
There is, in the end, the need to teach sex positive lessons – e.g. that sex between two (or more) consenting adults (no matter their SOGIESC) is/can be beautiful; that people can decide for their bodies; that you have options when engaging in sexual activities (such as on the safer sex methods to use); that there are entities you can (supposedly) go to if/when abuses happen; et cetera.
So yeah… for MSM, there is no shame in using gay dating apps; or in engaging with people to look for whatever you two are looking for; and yes, for not allowing to be victimized if the other party wants something you are unwilling to give.
We still have a long, long, LONG way to go.
But we need to start talking about all these now (if not sooner or later).
Otherwise, those “I will make you popular in social media” and “I will shame you” become the “norms” that fail to protect everyone, no matter at which side of the fence (related to sex work) they may be…
