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Partee-ing as a clique… at times of abusers and their enablers

Because they’re “exclusive”, partee groups can be gatherings of abusers. But one hopes that every member of such a group start thinking about their “mates”, and that they’re kept safe (somehow). Otherwise, it’s hard to disregard claims that partee-ing is but a session of finding fun at the expense of others.

Photo by Yogendra Singh from

Tar “disappeared” for two days. No texts; no “liking” in FB; no “heart-ing” in IG; no response in TG; no “seen” in Messenger and Viber; no answering of his phone. In our “history”, this means he’s in a session… yet again. And either he’s too high to do anything else (but savor being high, usually with his body used and abused by his partee-mates), or – as was noted in the past – his partee-mates actually prevent him from engaging with the “outside world”, so they do stuff to him so he won’t do this (like re-inject him without his consent, tie him down, and so on).

And so, worried, I reached out to his “regular” drug-mates – e.g. there’s the BPO guy in Sta. Ana whom he met via IG, there’s the IT guy in Pasig whom he met via TG, there’s the BPO guy in Pasig whom he similarly met via TG, and so on.

One outright “denied” being with Tar; or even knowing him or of him. As if I have not seen the conversations he had in IG with Tar, luring Tar with steady supplies of ice. One said he hasn’t seen Tar for a while. Two seen-zoned my messages. And so on.

I reached out, too, to their common “ninong”, or the one who introduced so many of them to partee-ing. Initially, he appeared to be “interested”, asking lots of questions. Only to say he didn’t know any of these guys anyway. And only for me to find out from someone we both knew that this “ninong” actually just didn’t want to share whatever info he had. I was, apparently, an “outsider”, and asking for info about one of them – even if the intention is to protect this person – is a red flag for them.

And I have issues with this.

The “ninong”, himself, is alleged to have recorded videos of those partee-ing (Tar included); various “definitions” of “abuse” would count what he did as “abusive”. Some of those partee-mates, as mentioned, re-injected their partee-mates sans consent. Some forced their partee-mates to have sex with multiple partners while too high. Some even allegedly raped their partee-mates (for instance, I know of a minor who was forcibly barebacked while high). And so on.

At times when I worry about Tar (such as when he “disappears”), calling them out for their actions becomes secondary to wanting Tar to be found safely. Recognizing that partee groups can be gatherings of abusers (as cited above), one can really only wish every member of such a group start thinking about their “mates”, and that they’re safe (somehow). Otherwise, it’s hard to disregard claims that partee-ing is but a session of finding fun at the expense of others…

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Frolic Lopez - a pen name, quite apparently - used to be (predominantly) sapiosexual (that is, he used to predominantly find intelligence sexually attractive/arousing). But then... life happened, and he discovered that he should be more 'trysexual', more open to possibilities to experience everything life can offer. He now writes - and shares - about everything life throws his way.


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