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Power structures in partee groups, and how abusers strengthen these to control partee-goers

In partee groups, there are those who hold the power (e.g. the suppliers, the orgynizers, et cetera). And there are those who are powerless (e.g. the usually young newbies, the freeloaders, et cetera). When this power structure is strengthened, the abuses worsen.

Photo by Diego Lozano from

Tar partee-d with an older businessman in Pasay City; in between shabu/meth injections and the fucking that followed it, he supposedly said he wanted to “help” Tar by giving him a “way to better himself” by, basically, “working for me”. This was repeatedly stated for… three days. Meaning: he was able to pump Tar with drugs for three days, and then – while high – he was able to use and abuse Tars body repeatedly for those three days.

By the third day, though, the “appeal” of the promise was gone; it became apparent, Tar belatedly said, that he was being “hooked” by this businessman, who kept promising to introduce him to this-or-that famous businessman (supposedly a friend of his), or to give him a “starting position in my own business”, or “to guide you to become a better person than you are”. All Tar had to do was “drop everything you are, everything you now have”, and to “just trust me”. And with the “spell” gone, Tar said he started becoming “paranoid”, and “I had to get out of there”, particularly since the guy seemed bent on not making him leave.

The businessman didn’t want to book him Grab, and Tar remembered removing it from his phone at that time. So he Messenger-ed me to book for him; he was panicking, feeling jailed, and he said he had to leave ASAP, particularly while the businessman seemed receptive of the idea of him leaving.

Tar eventually found himself at my place… supposedly after “haggling” with this businessman to allow him to leave. And once sobered, we got to discuss power structures in partees – e.g. he was “nothing” compared to the (pretending to be) “someone” businessman, and so the latter had “control” over him and what was happening to him (and them).

Looking back, this wasn’t the first time this supposedly happen to him.

Like when the infamous orgynizer (one who organizes orgies, luring the participants with the use of drugs) Neil (and yeah, you still see him active in Telegram and Romeo, among others) introduced Tar into partee-ing. Tar was “invited” because Neil’s sosyal friends needed a top they can use and abuse, just stuff him with drugs and they can do what they wanted to do to his body.

Like when Mike, the Pasig-based older guy who was “in love” with Tar (though only when they’re using drugs, that’s chem love for you) would make Tar skip work so he can fuck Mike for two, three days in a row, ending up to Tar losing a job for excessive absences. Mike’s “promise” was to “not give Tar up” when he’s down… only to dump Tar the moment he was confronted with the possibility that those in his circle may be informed about his addiction (his high-paying job was more important to him, obviously).

Like when that other Pasig-based guy injected Tar without his consent, and then proceeded to invite another partee-goer who then had sex with Tar while he was too high to make his own decision. Oh… he may have videotaped it, too. But he felt he had “authority” over Tar for being the “provider” of what they used.

Too bad that after the repeated occurrences of this, the power abuse, in Tar’s life, he continues not to truly see it, and see how this actually impacts his whole life (not just while partee-ing). Or maybe he does, and yet refuses to heed the lessons. And so the abuses continue to happen, strengthening the power structure in partee groups. And in the cycle of addiction, this is always at the expense of those who get abused…

Written By

Frolic Lopez - a pen name, quite apparently - used to be (predominantly) sapiosexual (that is, he used to predominantly find intelligence sexually attractive/arousing). But then... life happened, and he discovered that he should be more 'trysexual', more open to possibilities to experience everything life can offer. He now writes - and shares - about everything life throws his way.


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