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Reintroducing romance back into your long-term relationship

You may be trying to get a promotion at work, have a newborn to look after, or just have too much on your plate to even think about the quality of your relationship. It’s extremely easy to take what you have for granted until the dreaded mention of divorce lawyers or couples counseling comes up, and you realize you may have made a mistake in ignoring the lack of romance in your life.

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For many people, the daily grind of the 9 till 5, and the sleepless nights that accompany creating a family can have a huge toll on the romance in their relationship. It’s finding the time – and energy – to actually want to spend time together in a romantic setting, that can prove difficult a lot of the time.

You may be trying to get a promotion at work, have a newborn to look after, or just have too much on your plate to even think about the quality of your relationship. It’s extremely easy to take what you have for granted until the dreaded mention of divorce lawyers or couples counseling comes up, and you realize you may have made a mistake in ignoring the lack of romance in your life.

Now, this isn’t a blog to say you should be like a newlywed couple, or still in your honeymoon phase fifteen years in. Every relationship is different, however, if you have found that you can’t remember the last time you and your partner truly laughed together or shared an intimate moment – something has to change. Especially if you are unhappy about that lack of intimacy and feel extremely distant from your other half. You may still be best friends, and be getting along fine – like many couples, or you could be fighting at every given minute and feel like your starting to hate each other.

Whichever it is, try a few of the following suggestions and see if they help to reintroduce some much-needed romance back into your relationship.

 

Communicate

This first title may have made you sigh with a question of how it is possible to communicate your deepest feelings to someone you no longer feel close to. The most simple (and often brutal) answer is – nothing is going to change in your relationship unless you are both aware of the problems and put the effort into solving them. Your partner may be completely unaware of the way you are feeling, or feel exactly the same, but has been to scared too bring it up.  One quiet evening, over a bottle of rose, try to open back up to each other about your feelings and allow love to find you both again.

Keep In Contact Through The Day

How long has it been since you sent or received a text to/from your partner whilst you/their at work exclaiming: “I can’t wait to see you”, or simply “I love you”? Communicating throughout the day can inject some excitement, fire, and lust back into your relationship and show your partner that you still feel that same love for them you did when you first became exclusive. You may feel disconnected because you are exactly that – disconnected.

Try to put some effort into really keeping connected throughout the day, and enjoy the wonders it does for your lack of romance. Feel excited to see each other again at the end of long, hard day.

Schedule Date Night

When was the last time you spent some time and money on truly romancing each other? Bought flowers, got all dressed up, booked into a fancy restaurant, and order their most prestigious bottle of champagne just to celebrate how awesome you both are? Just taking some time to reminisce and reflect on the relationship you have built over the years, talking about memories from the past, or wants for the future, can have you seeing each other in a completely different light. Or that same light that has dimmed over the years. Try to seduce each other again, and remind yourselves why you are so perfect for one another.

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Relationships aren’t all rose-tinted glasses, and jumping into bed at every moment possible all the time. They take hard work to maintain, and a lot of commitment. It’s important to give your relationship the hard work it deserves, rather than throwing the towel in prematurely, and feeling the regret a decision like that is quite commonly accompanied by.  

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Your "not that regular" all-around gal, writing about anything, thus everything. "There's always more to discover... thus write about," she says in between - GASP! - puffs. And so that's what she does, exactly. Write, of course; not (just) puff.

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