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This is part of #KaraniwangLGBT, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBT people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

“For me, even if you’re an LGBTQIA person, you can also dance if you really want to dance. And you can do any genres – ballet, jazz, street dance… There’s no dance that is just for LGBTQIA people. Whoever you may be, whatever you may be, if dancing is your passion, you can dance. Everyone’s equal when dancing. Any genre is accessible for people who want to dance no matter the level of their talent so long as they have the passion.”

So said bi-identifying Lee Magdaraog, 26 years old, a dancer cum choreographer with his own dance group in Parañaque City.

Lee Magdaraog thinks that “it’s also easy for (my family) to accept me because I didn’t change just because I am part of the LGBTQIA community. I also don’t step on others for them to be critical of me.”

Lee was in sixth grade when he knew he “may be bakla (gay).” “But I hid this from everyone because I didn’t want to be bullied. I was also afraid to come out because of discrimination,” he recalled. The realization came “when I started getting attracted to other men, but I was ashamed to show it.”

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Fortunately for Lee, “my family accepted me; I have another sibling who’s gay. I also know that they’ll accept me whoever/whatever I may be.”

Lee also thinks that “it’s also easy for them to accept me because I didn’t change just because I am part of the LGBTQIA community. I also don’t step on others for them to be critical of me.”

Lee eventually identified as bi.

He discovered dancing unintentionally”.

“When I was in high school, I didn’t really like dancing. I liked singing then. But one person made me try dancing, so I did. There was one problem: I wasn’t very good at it. But it still inspired me, it motivated me. It feels good to dance,” he said.

And then there was one person who belittled Lee, “telling me I can’t do what they can do,” he said. “So I kept trying, believing that I will be able to face any struggle that comes my way. My goal was to become a dancer; it was my dream and I believed I can attain this dream.”

Eventually, he founded his own dance group.

“The members of my dance group came from other dance groups. They are like me, who were also belittled. I became the person who adopts those who are down, and then build them up to be better so that they can still fulfill their dreams,” he said.

Their dance group has approximately 100 members, divided into five sub-groups. He oversees them all, even if they are – in a way – autonomous. “Dumarating sa punto na nag-lalaban-laban kami (There are times we battle each other),” he said, “pero lagi ko sinasabi sa kanila na kahit ano pa ang desisyon ng judges, hindi kami kalaban. I-enjoy lang nila ang pagsasayaw (but I always tell them that whatever the judges’ decision may be, we’re not really competitors. So better to just enjoy the dancing).”

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His dance group does different dances – e.g. jazz, modern dance, hip hop, fire dance and poi dance. “We try everything, believing that if we can, we should do all dances.”

“The members of my dance group came from other dance groups. They are like me, who were also belittled. I became the person who adopts those who are down, and then build them up to be better.”

Dancing, said Lee, isn’t cheap.

“To be good at dancing, we join workshops given by good choreographers from all over the Philippines and even globally. This gives us knowledge about dancing,” he said. “By joining these workshops, we are also able to share the knowledge to those who can’t afford to pay to attend these same workshops.”

Lee spends from P150 to over P1,000 to attend a workshop, depending on what the workshop is for, and who is giving the workshop.

Lee’s dance group also gives “street dancing” a literal meaning – i.e. they often rehearse on the streets.

“It’s challenging for us to rehearse on the streets because we can’t control what happens there. Like when it rains, we don’t know where to rehearse. Or sometimes, there’s no proper lighting. We do everything in the dark, just as long as we can rehearse,” he said. “Other dance groups have dance studios, where they can see all the dance moves. But for us, we just have to be meticulous when checking the moves of every member. And because we rehearse on the streets, there are times when we are asked to leave because we’re supposedly too noisy or too crowded. But we still dance because this is our passion.”

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For Lee, while dancing can be challenging, some can make a living from it. “If you’re serious about it, you can earn from this,” he said. “Using your talent, you can earn from this. Like when doing fire dancing, which is in demand particularly during summer. Or poi dancing. Or doing backup dance in corporate events. You can definitely make a living from dancing. But you also have to invest in it.”

In his case in particular, because of dancing, “I’ve been able to help send my siblings to school. I’ve helped in buying my father’s medicines. I also give money for expenses at home. I may not be giving money regularly, but when I have earnings, I try to help out.”

There was one person who belittled Lee Magdaraog, “telling me I can’t do what they can do,” he said. “So I kept trying, believing that I will be able to face any struggle that comes my way.”
“Because we rehearse on the streets, there are times when we are asked to leave because we’re supposedly too noisy or too crowded. But we still dance because this is our passion.”

Lee’s message to LGBTQIA people who want to dance: “It really feels good to dance. There will be lots of difficulties. Because when you dance, you won’t immediately be on top. You have to go through steps, through levels. But if you really want this, if you’re really serious about this, you can attain your dream to be a dancer.”

But aligned with his teaching that dancing is for everyone, he said that “I want the young (no matter their SOGIE) to be inspired; instead of just getting addicted to drugs, instead of becoming bums… they should dance, which can help them change. The young should learn about respect, and dancing, can teach this, along with discipline and nurturing of dreams.”

To people who continue bashing the LGBTQIA community, “I pray for you,” Lee said. “I’m even thankful to you. You challenge/inspire us to do better and succeed in life.”

“I want the young (no matter their SOGIE) to be inspired; instead of just getting addicted to drugs, instead of becoming bums… they should dance, which can help them change.”

The founder of Outrage Magazine, Michael David dela Cruz Tan is a graduate of Bachelor of Arts (Communication Studies) of the University of Newcastle in New South Wales, Australia. Though he grew up in Mindanao (particularly Kidapawan and Cotabato City in Maguindanao), even attending Roman Catholic schools there, he "really, really came out in Sydney," he says, so that "I sort of know what it's like to be gay in a developing and a developed world". Mick can: photograph, do artworks with mixed media, write (DUH!), shoot flicks, community organize, facilitate, lecture, research (with pioneering studies under his belt)... this one's a multi-tasker, who is even conversant in Filipino Sign Language (FSL). Among others, Mick received the Catholic Mass Media Awards (CMMA) in 2006 for Best Investigative Journalism. Cross his path is the dare (read: It won't be boring).

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Perya ng buhay

From Bataan, peryante Louise David Flores – who self-identifies as bakla/gay man but lives as a woman – did not get the chance to be educated, so he believes his life won’t amount to anything. He wants other LGBTQIA people to grab all opportunities to better themselves and not have regrets.

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This is part of #KaraniwangLGBT, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBT people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

“As a gay person, you have to learn to enjoy life. When you’re gay, you are ridiculed. But for me, when people belittle me, I say: ‘Take a rest!’”

So said Louise David Flores, 20, from Dinalupihan, Bataan.

Self-identifying as “bakla” (gay), Louise actually “lives as a girl” – perhaps exemplifying the still commonplace confusion with sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression (SOGIE) particularly among those living outside metropolitan areas in the Philippines.

With his father already dead, and his mother with another family (in Lubao, Pampanga), Louise currently lives with an aunt. “I hardly see (my mother),” he said. “Sometimes, I don’t even see her in a year.”

Louise was in Grade 6 when people teased him, referring to him as gay. “That’s also when I realized I’m really gay. I actually told myself: Maybe I’m really a woman,” he said.

And then one time, “I went home with my make-up on. I also started using women’s clothes then. My family didn’t stop me from living as I am; they accepted me immediately as a girl.”

Louise was in Grade 6 when people teased him, referring to him as gay. “That’s also when I realized I’m really gay. I actually told myself: Maybe I’m really a woman,” he said.

For Louise, it isn’t necessarily difficult to be LGBTQIA in Bataan. “This will depend on you – on whether you choose to enjoy your life,” he said. “Living a sad life or living happy – that’s entirely up to you. I say just enjoy life while you’re still alive.”

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Louise admitted that he also experienced discrimination, such as “when I step out of my house, or when I go to the public market. There are some people who’d call me a faggot,” he said. But “I just ignore them. Really, why give them attention? These people do not know that it’s nicer if they have friends who belong to the LGBTQIA community. So, for me, there’s no need to give them attention. I have lots of friends who accept me for who I am anyway.”

Louise currently works as a “peryante” (one who works in a fair/carnival). “We bring the fair/carnival to different places.”

For Louise, it isn’t necessarily difficult to be LGBTQIA in Bataan. “This will depend on you – on whether you choose to enjoy your life,” he said.

He actually started working early.

“I was 13 when I started working. My first job was in a farm, planting rice. There are lots of things to do in a farm. You can plant rice, harvest rice… you can do things like that.”

And now as a “peryante“, “I make people gamble. Our salary depends on the winnings. Sometimes, we just get twenty pesos for a day’s work. Sometimes we get nothing, particularly if we (the betting house) lose. So we don’t have regular earnings.”

Louise doesn’t believe that LGBTQIA (particularly gay-with-straight-identifying-men, which is still common in provincial areas) relationships are real.

“Among 100 men, only one man will truly love a gay man. And he may already be taken by someone,” he said. “And so I don’t take men seriously. I don’t take relationships seriously because the other party isn’t serious anyway. You can always tell when one is serious.”

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To younger LGBTQIA people, Louise said: “As long as someone wants to send you to school, study. I regret not going to school. I want to have a proper job, but I can’t get one because I did not have formal education.”

This is actually also why Louise has sort of lost hope already. “I don’t think I can still have a good future. Because I didn’t get formal education, I can’t find a good job. Maybe in the future, I’ll be stuck at home. I’ll do nothing but look after my nephews and nieces. Perhaps that’s what future holds for me.”

To younger LGBTQIA people, Louise said: “As long as someone wants to send you to school, study. I regret not going to school. I want to have a proper job, but I can’t get one because I did not have formal education.”

And to people who continue to belittle LGBTQIA people, Louise said: “Your ridicule reflects badly on you. Just because a person is gay, doesn’t mean you have any right to abuse him. Those who do this have narrow minds. Put yourself in the shoes of LGBTQIA people to know what they are going through.”

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The lone drag queen

Kenneth Lemuel Esteban interviews Lawrence Villiones, a.k.a. Wire Shun, the 23-year-old lone drag queen of San Jose City, Nueva Ecija, who believes that doing drag is not just a way of expression but is a way of self-empowerment that can also empower other people.

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This is part of #KaraniwangLGBT, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBT people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

“It is very hard to fight for my sexuality and, at the same time, fight for my drag artistry here in the province because most people here are not open enough to understand both.”

So said Lawrence Villiones, a.k.a. Wire Shun, the 23-year-old lone drag queen of San Jose City, Nueva Ecija, who continues to experience hardships for being part of the LGBTQIA community and for being a drag artist in the province.

For Lawrence, discrimination happens every day for him as a member of the LGBTQIA community. “On a daily basis, discrimination is inevitable here in the province. You can witness discrimination in public and sometimes even at work.”

And as if Lawrence is not oppressed enough because of his sexuality, he is also forced to abstain from being the drag performer – something that he always wanted to become – due to the lack of drag culture, and the knowledge and appreciation of the same in the province.

“Being a drag queen here in the province can get really hard… because we don’t have nightclubs and bars that (hire) drag artists for gigs just like in other cities. If there only is a drag culture here in the province, I’d be able to live and enjoy my drag career to the fullest,” he said.

Nowadays, people often judge other people through race, size and gender preferences so Lawrence thinks that, “as a member of the LGBT community, we should convey messages of inclusion and diversity.”

Not surprisingly, Lawrence hopes that “someday, I want be able to have a platform to showcase my talent and show the people that I am more than just someone who can do drag make-up. I want to show them that I can also perform. I can also ‘lip-sync for my life’.”

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Lawrence discovered the art of drag when, “I was in high school, I saw ‘Rupaul’s Drag Race’ on TV, and I got curious. I just tried to watch a single episode.” Lawrence said that at that moment, “I had zero interest and idea on what drag is. I just got the urge to know more about it.”

As soon as he finished college, he tried looking for a hobby, and “I rediscovered drag artistry on social media and I had the time that I didn’t have before so I decided to explore more from the world of drag.”

Lawrence’s drag name is Wire Shun, inspired by his favorite character from a Korean drama that he always watches.

Sometimes, Lawrence wants to go outside as Wire Shun but he can’t because “people here in the province might not understand my art.” he said. “Most of my neighbors might judge me because of my craft because other than the fact that they don’t understand the concept of drag, my drag style is very different and creepy so things might get too overwhelming for them.”

Lawrence added that “even my family is not aware that I do drag… No one knows that I do drag and that drag is my passion.”

And so for Lawrence, the only way for him to express his artistry is “by performing alone in my room.”

Lawrence hopes that “someday, I want be able to have a platform to showcase my talent and show the people that I am more than just someone who can do drag make-up. I want to show them that I can also perform. I can also ‘lip-sync for my life’.”

His drag style is, “very alternative. I serve looks that are very unique, spooky and sometimes it may even look alien-ish,” he said.

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Alternative drag is, Lawrence said, not the typical style that other drag artists do. “It is very different from the looks of other mainstream queens appearing on television because those queens are more focused on serving beauty pageant aesthetic and feminine looks. “

For him, “alternative drag on the other hand has no limitations when it comes to expressing your artistry”

Lawrence is very different from his drag persona; they are like a paradox.

Lawrence can be just as “mundane as I could be. I am just a person trapped in what the society expects me to be. I am just an artist looking for a way to express my talent and creativity.” When out of drag, “I am just this shy person who lacks a huge deal of confidence.” But when he is finally in drag, he can “get very wild and cocky… a complete opposite when he (I am) out of drag.”

Lawrence believes that doing drag is not just his outlet and way of expression, but is also his way of self-empowerment with hopes of empowering other people.

Nowadays, people often judge other people through race, size and gender preferences so Lawrence thinks that, “as a member of the LGBT community, we should convey messages of inclusion and diversity.” He gushed as he added that for him, “my drag artistry is my way of expression and through my art is how I convey that message to people.”

“Being a drag queen here in the province can get really hard… because we don’t have nightclubs and bars that (hire) drag artists for gigs just like in other cities. If there only is a drag culture here in the province, I’d be able to live and enjoy my drag career to the fullest,” he said.

To the aspiring drag queens and artists in general who thinks that they are limited because they are in the province, Lawrence has this to say: “Living in a (non-metropolitan) city is not that big of a deal because no matter where we are, we can showcase our talent and artistry. We just need to learn how to be resourceful. Just unleash your creativity and you can do it no matter who you are. All drag is valid. So just keep on honing your craft and artistry. Let’s just live on and keep on learning so that we’ll be able to reach our goals in life.”

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A devotion to public service

A former non-government organization worker on Boracay island, Raffy Cooper, 34, is the first gay barangay secretary of Caticlan in Malay, Aklan. While raising two of his three kids, he hopes younger LGBTQIA people to “better yourself until you’re ready to take flight.”

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This is part of #KaraniwangLGBT, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBT people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

“It’s important for us to know why we’re being discriminated. And then empower ourselves to find ways for the world to also respect us.”

So said Raffy Cooper, the 34-year-old barangay secretary of Caticlan in Malay, Aklan (Malay is where Boracay is).

“Sometimes people think LGBTQIA people are just deviants in this world,” Raffy added. “But if you have lofty dreams and achieve these dreams, you will be unquestionable and you will be respected in your community.”

Raffy was in Grade 1 when he said he noted having male crushes (his classmates). “I couldn’t explain why I had male crushes then,” he said, adding that he found this “peculiar so I didn’t entertain it then.”

In Grade 6, he became more effeminate; and by high school, “I got interested in using make-up, wearing clothes used by women, and joining gay beauty pageants. My life became complicated because of these.”

Initially, Raffy’s family wasn’t too shocked when they found out he’s gay. “Perhaps because slowly, they noticed I was different.”

Raffy’s aunties also used to dress him up in girls’ clothing, so the “progression” was expected.

But when he started joining beauty pageants, wearing clothes used by women, and even used hormone replacement, “they weren’t very comfortable with those,” he said, adding that the discomfort may have also been because “my family is very religious.”

Raffy has four siblings; all of them are boys. All his brothers didn’t want to have a gay sibling.

“But at the end of the day, with families, no matter the SOGIE you choose, if you love your family and if you don’t bring troubles (for the family), they’ll accept you,” he said. “They’ll come to love you, to accept you. And with what I’ve done in my life, they’re proud of me.”

“It’s important for us to know why we’re being discriminated. And then empower ourselves to find ways for the world to also respect us.”

Overall, by going through everything he did as a gay child, “I think it’s a good experience overall because it allowed me to discover what I can do. It also taught me how to (affect) people for them to realize that even if you are just like that, you still deserve respect.”

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Not surprisingly, Raffy calls for parents of LGBTQIA children to “respect your children. You won’t be able to change them by hitting them or by verbally abusing them, or by discriminating or treating them as less than your other children just because they are LGBTQIA. It’s important to support them so they don’t lose their way. There are parents who do not treat their LGBTQIA children rightly or equally. These LGBTQIA children lose their way; some run away. And when this happens, their lives are ruined. So it’s better to just also respect your LGBTQIA children.”

But he also wants young LGBTQIA people – particularly those still living at home – to obey their parents “because they are raising you. So, study. After studying, when you can support yourself and live away from them, then spread your wings like a butterfly and do whatever you want.”

“Sometimes people think LGBTQIA people are just deviants in this world,” Raffy added. “But if you have lofty dreams and achieve these dreams, you will be unquestionable and you will be respected in your community.”

Coming as a surprise for many, Raffy actually had a wife; and they have three kids.

“I’m not okay with my wife now,” so “two of my kids are with me now; I send them to school. Our youngest child is with my wife because it’s still a baby.”

Raffy said that having a wife was “somewhat surprising not just for my family but even my community. But what’s important is that I’ve been a good father to my children. I do everything I can to offer the best quality of life to my children, the best education.”

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Raffy believes “my kids are all happy. They never experienced being taunted that their father is gay. I think I’ve done my part to help the community; I’ve proven what I can do. So I earned the respect of the community. So my children are never underestimated for having a gay father. I think the community even loves them more because I am their father.”

With raising kids as a gay father, “I am more gender-sensitive. Perhaps with straight fathers, there’s this imposition on kids to be macho.”

Raffy’s son, for instance, is not into sports. “He doesn’t like getting dirty or being sweaty. Perhaps if his father isn’t gay, he’d be asked why he’s like that, and he’d be forced to play – say – basketball. For me, it’s okay if he doesn’t like sports. I don’t think (that by not being sporty) he has plans to be part of the LGBTQIA community. But whatever his plans in life are, I’ll support him.”

Raffy Cooper believes “my kids are all happy. They never experienced being taunted that their father is gay. I think I’ve done my part to help the community; I’ve proven what I can do. So I earned the respect of the community.”

Though he finished BS Biology in college, Raffy’s career path has not be aligned with that field.

“Currently, I’m the barangay secretary of Caticlan. I started working as the barangay secretary last June (2018). This is my first time in public service. I used to work for a non-government organization. Perhaps I caught the eye of the barangay captain, who asked me to work for him. I am enjoying my work because I am directly dealing with people, and I am able to help somehow.”

This is the first time that a member of the LGBTQIA community became a barangay secretary in Raffy’s place, and “my presence there is (deemed) peculiar… a little more colorful. Many are happy with this.”

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Should he choose to also become a local leaders, “my first priority will be empowerment,” Raffy said. “I want for members of the LGBTQIA community to be more empowered; for them to be more capable to compete not just locally but globally.”

Raffy is also actually the reigning Queen of Aklan.

When he was younger, he regularly joined beauty pageants, going to far areas just to do so. But he stopped when he had his family.

And then they had Queen of Aklan, and “I got interested to join. Its advocacy was good.”

Malay, where Boracay is, has the second highest number of HIV cases in the whole of Aklan. Meanwhile, Aklan has the second highest number of HIV cases in the whole of Western Visayas.

Boracay is a hotspot for HIV infection because it’s a tourism area. “Here we can say that sex work is also rampant, including members of the LGBTQIA community. This is tolerated, and even accepted, because it’s a product of the tourism industry,” Raffy said. “I’m not saying it’s the main product of the tourism industry, but it’s happening. It’s the reality.”

Raffy thinks that “if we will encourage these people to know their HIV status and teach them how to protect themselves from HIV, the number of people getting infected in Aklan will lessen.” And so for Raffy, “it is very important for a person like me who has the voice for the community to join a contest that will raise awareness about HIV.”

Luckily, he said, he won.

“I want for members of the LGBTQIA community to be more empowered; for them to be more capable to compete not just locally but globally.”

Raffy is big on education.

“When you’re LGBTQIA, invest first in your education. Because in the future, you will need a job. You won’t just party or sleep around. It’s okay to discover yourself. But at the end of the day, you have to invest in your education.”

He also sees this as an important tool for self-empowerment.

“To members of the LGBTQIA community, continue to empower yourself. Don’t consider yourself as a lesser human being than other people. You should always be proud of yourself, and always do your best.”

And to people who may continue to frown upon LGBTQIA people: “I think it’s time (for people) to be open-minded that the world is not only filled with straight men and women. There are also people who chose different ways to express themselves/their SOGIE. So we have to be respectful. At the end of the day, your life won’t change by forcing other people to change.”

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Rainbow rising in Bataan

Only 18, Maria Ella Danaya Gigante – self-identifying as a gay man in Bataan – already makes a living to help his family. He tells other LGBTQIA people to find happiness in what they are, and show others that LGBTQIA will find ways to show we deserve to be accepted completely.

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This is part of #KaraniwangLGBT, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBT people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

Maria Ella Danaya Gigante, 18 from Brgy. Payumo, Dinalupihan, Bataan, was still in elementary school when he started feeling “different” – i.g. he was attracted to other men, and he also expressed himself in an effeminate manner.

“I really just want to give my family a good life. I want to be able to buy them everything that they want.”

He was “lucky”, in a way, because his family accepted him.

“At first – when family members noticed there was something different with me – I
was scared tell them who/what I really am,” he recalled. “But an elder sister told me that when I start high school, I’d be more gutsy to be who I am and tell them the truth. And indeed, this became true. And when I finally came out to them, they accepted me immediately. They told me that there’s nothing they can do if I’m really like this.”

This is perhaps why, for Maria Ella Danaya, family always comes first.

“I read somewhere that a person who talks too much has nothing worth hearing; and those who stay silent are better thinkers.”

He is currently studying at Eastwoods College of Science & Technology, also in Dinalupihan, Bataan, where he taking up IT Programming.

READ:  San Julian PRIDE: Aiming for equality in rural areas

This is not the course he really wanted to take up. “But gay men are talkative. And with this course, I can work in a call center, or have any job that will allow me to use my loquaciousness,” he said. In the end, “I really just want to give my family a good life. I want to be able to buy them everything that they want.”

Maria Ella Danaya, in fact, already currently works as a freelance hairdresser.

“It started when a gay friend rebonded my hair. It didn’t work on my hair, and it angered me. I did to my mother’s hair what my gay friend did to my hair, and it worked. I also have an auntie who has five salons in Batangas. She taught me the proper ways to do hair rebonding, give Brazilian treatment, do hair cellophane, and so on. That’s how it started for me,” he said.

Everything he earns from work, “I give to my family, particularly to my mom.”

Though his family has been accepting of him, Maria Ella Danaya admitted that, “to be honest, there’s really discrimination done against LGBTQIA people, particularly outside our homes. This is an unavoidable fact. People like us become outcasts; society just doesn’t prioritize thinking about us.”

Now how does he react to this?

“I stay quiet. I read somewhere that a person who talks too much has nothing worth hearing; and those who stay silent are better thinkers,” he said.

Everything he earns from work, “I give to my family, particularly to my mom.”

For Maria Ella Danaya, “my message to other LGBTQIA people is not to mind what other people say. Instead, show who you really are. Be happy in who you really are, and what you have.”

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And to people who continue to discriminate against LGBTQIA people, “I can only say one
thing: The same LGBTQIA people you put down will rise to show you we also deserve complete acceptance.”

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A life in pink

Having experienced discrimination, trans pageant enthusiast Sophia Montecarlo even thinks this is “normal”, though she also thinks LGBTQIA people should use their bad experiences to do better in life. “Take failures and challenges to be better versions of yourselves,” she says.

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This is part of #KaraniwangLGBT, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBT people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

Sophia Montecarlo, 21, from Imus City in Cavite, knew of her sexual orientation since she was a child. “I always knew I’m not male,” she said. “There’s something inside me telling me that I’m really a woman.”

Perhaps to be expected (and even if this is saddening), “my family was initially shocked. And at first, they couldn’t support me for being who and what I am.”

Sophia Montecarlo sadly thinks that it is “normal” for LGBTQIA people to experience discrimination and/or bullying.

What made it difficult for her family to accept Sophia was their religious affiliation.

“I am not part of the Roman Catholic Church; I am from Iglesia ni Cristo (Church of Christ),” she said. And “in our religion, we do not support… we do not believe in people being LGBTQIA.”

Because Sophia couldn’t deny who she is, this created a fracture in her relationship with other family members. “All family members are part of the Church of Christ. And for me not to harm them because I also love them, I chose to separate myself from them,” Sophia said. And so while she still lives with her family, “but I am no longer an active member of the Church of Christ.”

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It was this move – her “courageous step” – that allowed Sophia to start to openly express herself especially to her parents. And “that’s the time they also opened up to me and started accepting me.”

Sophia sadly thinks that it is “normal” for LGBTQIA people to experience discrimination and/or bullying.

There will always be people, she said, who will say that God only created man and woman. “These same people (will) say that LGBTQIA people were not really created by God. But one thing is for sure, I believe that the discrimination we experience can uplift us and make us stronger persons.”

When Sophia Montecarlo was in her third year in college, she started joining beauty pageants.

When Sophia was in her third year in college, she started joining beauty pageants. “I was 18 then, and this became my passion,” she said. “I and my friends decided to just join a pageant; and I had fun experiencing what was happening backstage and onstage, so I continued joining pageants.”

Since 2017, she must have joined over 20 beauty pageants already. “But I only join pageants when I have free time, or when I am readily available.”

Sophia already placed in pageants in Cavite, and even won titles already. The biggest prize money she said she got was from P7,000 to P10,000.

“It hurts when you don’t win. I particularly feel sad because of the effort given by my handler and my friends,” she said. “But I also take these failures to become better, and use them to win in the next pageants.”

“Being true to yourself will lead you to become a better person, to become a stronger individual who can influence other people as well.”

Having finished college at Cavite State University-Main Campus (with a degree of Bachelor of Science-Business Management, majoring in marketing management), Sophia is currently working as a call center agent.

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But “I am looking forward to having a stable job that will help me provide for the needs of my family.”

To younger LGBTQIA people, “be true to yourself,” Sophia said. “Being true to yourself will lead you to become a better person, to become a stronger individual who can influence other people as well.”

And to people who continue to discriminate or bully members of the LGBTQIA community, “you’re not doing anything (substantial) to us. All you do is say that we’re failures; that we’re not really members of this society. But I can say that there’s nothing you can really do; we’re already here. And we’ll prove to you that we’re living (our lives) and we’re (going for it).”

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Sa isang banda ng bahaghari

Cavite local Edson Julianda Gloriaga is part of a band, where he found a way to express his being part of the LGBTQIA community. He now says for others to use music to showcase what they can do without heeding those who are only there to pull others, like LGBTQIA people, down.

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This is part of #KaraniwangLGBT, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBT people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

Edson Julianda Gloriaga, 25, from Bailen, Cavite knew he’s gay since he was seven years old. “Doon ko naramdaman na iba ang pagtingin ko pagdating sa lalaki. Tapos mas gusto kong babae ang kasama ko; mas gusto kong kakumpitensiya ang babae kesa lalaki (That was when I noticed that my feelings for other men were different. I also preferred hanging out with women. I preferred playing/competing with girls, not boys).”

At first, Edson’s father couldn’t accept him – something he believes is because of machismo, e.g. the male members of his family are brusque, with his uncles even regularly get into fights because of machismo.

Nandiyan yung times na nabubugbog ka; bubugbugin ka kasi hindi ka tanggap (There were times when I was physically abused because I was not accepted),” he recalled.

“You will be ridiculed, you will be denigrated… even by your own family because you are gay, and they believe you’ll amount to nothing. But if you convert this into something positive, it will be your inspiration, your motivation to show to them that no matter what happens, no matter what I choose to do in life, I can improve to contribute better in society.”

By the time he was in fourth year high school, when Edson was already earning his own money, family members started to accept him. At that time, too, “I told them that this is the real me, I can’t change this. And I can stand up for my chosen gender identity.”

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Not surprisingly, Edson believes that “particularly at first, it’s hard to be an LGBTQIA person in (the Province of) Cavite.” However, “you learn to turn this negative experience into something positive. You teach yourself to be motivated by this… You will be ridiculed, you will be denigrated… even by your own family because you are gay, and they believe you’ll amount to nothing. But if you convert this into something positive, it will be your inspiration, your motivation to show to them that no matter what happens, no matter what I choose to do in life, I can improve to contribute better in society.”

Edson was in high school when a friend urged him to join a band.

He started as a musician (a flute player who became a clarinet player). But in 2010, he stopped being part of a band because he moved to Manila; this lasted for almost four years.

“When I returned to Bailen, Cavite, my training started again; this time as a color guard of Banda Kabataan #77,” he said.

“We also earn from being in a band, even if money isn’t that big, but for us, for people whose lives revolve around music, you don’t pay attention to money. For us, as long as you are enjoying what you’re doing, then money is not a big issue.”

Being part of a band is a “stress reliever for me,” said Edson, adding that this also: 1) allowed him to travel far and wide; and 2) allows him to explore himself to ascertain what else he can do as an individual.

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Not surprisingly, while “we also earn from being in a band, even if money isn’t that big, but for us, for people whose lives revolve around music, you don’t pay attention to money. For us, as long as you are enjoying what you’re doing, then money is not a big issue.”

Unlike his gender identity (at least in the beginning), his family is supportive of him being part of a band. This may be because family members are also band members. For instance, his cousins are also in bands, so “for my family, my being part of a band is a non-issue… But they tell me to always be careful, to look after myself. And that if this is where I can improve myself, then continue being in it.”

Being part of a band, said Edson, allows him to “show my talents to others, share these to others, particularly to those who intend to join bands. I want to share my talents, and everything I have learned.”

This is why he said he’d be “happier if all LGBTQIA people in my place join bands because in bands, no one will ridicule them or will look down at them. People who belong to bands know that LGBTQIA people can contribute a lot to bands.”

“Don’t be afraid. Don’t listen to what other people will say because – you need to remember – they do not feed you, they do not provide you sustenance, they do not dress you, they do not provide you housing. They’re just people looking to disparage you; people who want to put you down.”

Edson already had five boyfriends (the first one was in college); none of these relationships lasted long.

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But Edson learned life lessons from having relationships.

“A former BF cheated on me, so while in one relationship, I also cheated. That former cheating BF replaced me with another gay guy, and I had a hard time accepting it. That cheating ex-BF replaced me with my friend. Now I know better; that I should not do to others what was done to me because they may also do it to other people who will also unintentionally get hurt,” he said.

To younger LGBTQIA people, “continue doing what you want to do. Know yourself better by being certain with your gender identity,” Edson said. “Don’t be afraid. Don’t listen to what other people will say because – you need to remember – they do not feed you, they do not provide you sustenance, they do not dress you, they do not provide you housing. They’re just people looking to disparage you; people who want to put you down.”

And to people who continue to discriminate against LGBTQIA people, “ang masasabi ko lang huwag nilag tingnan sa physical figure ang katangian ng isang tao, bagkus alamin nila kung ano ang nasa loob ng taong yun, kung bakla man siya o tomboy (I say: Don’t judge people based on their physical attributes. Instead, know people for who they really are),” Edson said. “Lagi nating tatandaan na kung ano ang kayang gawin ng lalaki at ng babae, kaya ding gawin ng isang bakla o ng tomboy (Remember that what men and women can do, LGBTQIA people can do, too).”

“I’d be happier if all LGBTQIA people in my place join bands because in bands, no one will ridicule them or will look down at them. People who belong to bands know that LGBTQIA people can contribute a lot to bands.”

In the end, to survive – and even thrive – in life, “Turn bad experiences to motivate you, to inspire you to show to them that no matter what happens to me, no matter what other people say, I will stand proud. I will stand proud because I am not alone; I am with God, who accepted me for who I am. I know these people will also accept me one day because they will also be proud of me,” Edson ended.

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