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The kiss and the fist: Getting to the cause of abusive relationships

Of course, long-term relationships are prone to their ups and downs and while there are so many abusive relationships in the world, to understand some of the root causes underneath this, may help someone out there that’s having difficulty in this very scenario.

It’s still a problem in society that is tolerated behind closed doors. Abuse occurs in many different forms, from the physical to psychological and emotional. But, getting to the cause is something that, if done right, can help to support the abuser and the abused. But are there any common traits in the behaviors of abusers and why they may do this?

A Lack Of Empathy

While we think of a lack of empathy as something associated with the mentally unhinged, such as psychopaths, in actual fact, it’s not just something that is exclusive to these types of people. In fact, you can look on AConsciousRethink.com to see an insightful article on how a lack of empathy isn’t just in sociopaths and narcissists. A lack of empathy is something that we are all capable of from time to time.

From the perspective of the abuser, a lack of the ability to interpret the actions of the abused means that the relationship is unable to get past this stage. For example, the abuser could interpret the fearfulness in the abused as a lack of emotion, which could be why the abuser continues to punish.

Abuse occurs in many different forms, from the physical to psychological and emotional.
IMAGE FROM PXHERE.COM

Deep Rooted Trauma

One of the more common reasons behind a person and their predilection to abuse is a complex childhood trauma. Because someone can grow up in an abusive environment, without having addressed the problems later in life, they can view this as normal behavior. Although, a lot of people are aware that what they are doing is wrong, they are unable to rectify their attitudes, because this involves addressing their traumatic past.

Being Unable To Tolerate Injury

Something that is common in abusers is that they are quick to retaliate if they have their feelings hurt. It is something that can be learnt in childhood; if someone hurts you, you hurt them back. But if this behavior accelerates throughout life, the abuser is unable to learn how to tolerate injury. In relationships, being hurt can happen a lot in an emotional sense, but it’s important for these abuses to learn how to process it without acting out physically, which is a common trait in assault or battery cases.

You can learn more from KLGDefense.com about the differences between assault and battery, and the underlying causes. But what is surprising, is that this behavior is more common in boys, especially those that have grown up learning to not show their emotions.

Not Taking Account For Their Actions

The world of abuse is one where the abuser believes that it’s okay to hurt others when they are hurt. Because people believe they are entitled to this, it can become a well-worn behavior that spirals out of control. A feeling of entitlement and believing that they have the right to not be hurt or embarrassed is then fueling the likelihood of punishing the person when this has been compromised.

Of course, long-term relationships are prone to their ups and downs and while there are so many abusive relationships in the world, to understand some of the root causes underneath this, may help someone out there that’s having difficulty in this very scenario.

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Your "not that regular" all-around gal, writing about anything, thus everything. "There's always more to discover... thus write about," she says in between - GASP! - puffs. And so that's what she does, exactly. Write, of course; not (just) puff.

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