“Espadahan na!” (Tagalog slur for two boners hitting each other)
“Pompyangan na!” (Tagalog slur for two vaginas grinding against each other)
“Pa’no naging babae ‘yan, eh, may lawit ‘yan?” (How did he become a woman when he has a dick?)
Religious conservatives I have argued with online intrigue me for a number of reasons. One of the most interesting things about these obstinate heterosexist and cissexist folks is their preoccupation with genitals. Yes, they seem to be thinking much about what’s inside your briefs or panties and what you do with them or who you play them with.
For instance, these people are quick to ridicule gay relationships and ask nosy questions. How do they make love? Yes, how do queer couples make love? How can two people make love if they both have penises or vaginas? Two men can’t hit each other’s penises and get off, can they? Two women can’t grind against each other, can they?
As interesting as they may seem, these questions sound hilarious, especially coming from people who uphold moral uprightness. I find it utterly ambivalent. Why are these holier-than-thou folks so preoccupied with sex and sex organs? What do they care about what two men or two women do in private? Do they only think about sex when they think about relationships? Do they also think about what their sons and daughters do with their partners in private?
A more interesting question is, why does it seem that anti-gay Christians know so much about gay sex? It’s fascinating when people who abhor gay men and lesbian women are too aware of or concerned about anal sex or lesbian sex, as if the only thing that gay couples do is have sex. Do these conservatives also treat straight couples the same way? Do they also imagine a straight couple going down on each other?
How did they get to know about gay and lesbian sex anyway? I can only think of a few explanations. 1. They watch gay/lesbian porn. 2. They engage in gay/lesbian sex. 3. They watch live gay/lesbian sex via invitations or voyeurism. Otherwise, what are their sources? Hearsay? Assumptions? Wild imaginations? Erotic fantasies? You see, you expose them quickly as any of the following: ignorant nuts, voyeurs, or homophobic closet queens.
Don’t get me wrong. Gay and lesbian couples may engage in sex, but sex is just a slice of their lives, if at all, and not the entire cake. Reducing same-sex relationships to anal sex or mutual cunnilingus alone is ignorant, narrow, and lascivious.
I imagine a conservative would forgo talks about sex altogether. Thinking about other people’s sex organs and what they do with their sex organs is lewd. Is it not from a religious point of view? You can’t call yourself morally upright when the only thing you can imagine a gay couple would do is get naked under the sheets. How can you invoke moral superiority when the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about gay and transgender people are their genitals and their sexual exploits?
The issue isn’t even about being conservative or religious. The issue is this wanton meddling with something people are supposed to leave alone. Other people’s sex lives are none of anyone’s business. What’s inside their undergarments is none of anyone’s business.
Speaking about what’s inside the undergarments, let’s talk about our transgender friends, who are notorious victims of genital shaming. So, we have these self-entitled holy cows who go out of their way to preach about their gender expertise. Their mission is to tell people to act according to what’s between their thighs. If you have a penis, act like someone with a penis. Act like a man. If you have a vagina, act like a woman. If you’ve been exposed to transphobia, you’re probably familiar with this cissexist rhetoric that sounds pretty reasonable to the average person.
Why would you wear a dress if you were born male? Why would you shave your head if you’re biologically female? But what’s the big deal? So many men and women have come before us bending, defying gender norms without the sky falling down. Did it rain fire on queer parades of pure flamboyance?
It’s silly to even bother telling people to conform to their sex. Someone wants to wear make-up or dress. Someone goes to work wearing a female suit with her ID saying she’s male. And then the traditionalists are up in arms over it. Not only that, these people go out of their way to stop gender nonconforming people from expressing themselves. It’s ridiculous.
Please! I’m not talking about people going to work wearing a meat dress or bikini. No! I’m talking, for instance, about a gender bending queer guy who goes to work in a female garb. Is there something wrong with that? Can’t he work in female clothes? Can’t he work with his makeup on?
Why even bother pointing out the sex of the person? For instance, a trans woman was born male. We know that. But from a social and professional perspective, does that matter? Does wearing dresses and makeup stop her from going about her 9-5, becoming a productive citizen, or paying taxes? Do her genitals care that she’s wearing lipstick?
Genitals don’t talk. Whatever is inside your briefs, knickers, panties, or underpants doesn’t make decisions for you. So, when you say that someone has a penis and therefore has to act like humans who have penises, stop for a moment and think about what you’re saying. You’re trying to say that our lives must depend on what’s between our legs, not what’s between our ears. That’s probably one of the reasons why we remain in a third-world country.
If we think like that on personal matters like gender and sexuality, how can we trust ourselves in handling complex national and global issues?
We are stuck in this primitive way of viewing sexuality and gender. We are subconsciously enslaved by our preoccupation with sex and sex organs, putting us at the bottom of a hypothetical intellectual pyramid. And this preoccupation with sex and sex organs is a disturbing and sometimes dangerous ideology, for it reflects ignorance that translates into unreasonable, at times inhuman, treatment of certain groups of people. It creates needless disquiet and social division.
When conservatives call gay and transgender people perverts, I immediately wince, knowing the former seem to have an unexpectedly fervid predilection for eroticism and genitals than the latter. You don’t think so? Go to online discussions about gay marriage and transgender issues. Or maybe go for an occasional online tour to pages about anti-LGBT preachers who queerly wound up in licentious controversies.