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LIFESTYLE & CULTURE

Why moms lose their identity and how to get it back

Being a mother is one of the most fulfilling roles for women, but it’s not the only thing you can be. Finding a balance between mothering, career and self-care and self-love is the perfect combination for happiness.

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Many women think that they are mature and stable enough not to let motherhood change them. What? You can still hang out with your friends while you have a babysitter at home or have fun trips with your partner with your little one in tow. However, it’s truly a surprise how many women lose themselves in their new role and willingly leave most of the things behind in order to be stay-at-home moms or full-time moms.

Are you losing your identity and becoming completely indistinguishable from your kids? When is the last time you read a book? What is your hobby? What’s your favorite way to spend Sunday afternoons? If you either can’t come up with an answer or blurted out something that has to do with your kids, you need to get your identity back ASAP. 

Why moms lose their identity? 

Well, from the second our kids are born, they require our constant attention. While they are awake, they need feeding, changing, bathing and entertainment and when they are asleep, they need us to clean the house, cook food and get ready for when they wake up again. So, it’s really easy to get tunnel vision after you become a parent. Finding an effective way to change a diaper becomes a super fun event. Discovering new baby food recipes is a call for celebration. Or dressing up your kid really nicely brings you immense happiness even though kids don’t care about that at all. Without mothers, there are no kids and without kids, there are no mothers. But can you be a mother and a woman you used to be before? The answer is yes. 

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How can you reclaim your identity? 

Once you notice you’re losing the sense of self, it’s time to make a conscious effort to make time for yourself and commit to your needs. It’s not easy, because your mind will always run to your kids and family, but with practice (and evidence that they can survive without your 24/7 care) you will succeed. 

Come up with a daily or weekly ritual

Find a convenient time of the day in the week and make sure to schedule your favorite activity. This can be reading, watching a grownup movie, going out with friends, having a hardcore workout or anything else that interests you and only you. 

Do something that will make you happier

No matter if that involves being happier at home, at work, finding a hobby or volunteering, come up with something that makes you feel positive emotion and do your best to pursue it. Once you find something that holds your attention, you’ll have a much easier time separating from your little ones. 

Think both short and long-term 

Grab a pen and paper and start creating your bucket list or a vision board. In order to keep your motivation high, make sure to include both short-term goals and long-term goals. For instance, you might want to finish a book and learn to play that new Ed Sheeran song on the guitar. But you also might want to run a 5k race, lose your baby weight and start that private business you always wanted to run. These goals will keep you occupied and as your kids grow, your dreams will start to shape up and take a more meaningful role in your life. Of course, kids always come first, but they don’t have to be the only thing that keeps you going. 

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Stop comparing yourself to other moms

This is probably the most important point on this list and definitely the hardest to achieve. When times are tough, it’s really hard not to compare yourself to the Joneses and feel bad when it seems like they don’t go through the same hardships (even though they most definitely do). Try to be the best version of yourself you can possibly be now and you’ll be much more content. 

Being a mother is one of the most fulfilling roles for women, but it’s not the only thing you can be. Finding a balance between mothering, career and self-care and self-love is the perfect combination for happiness.

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Colonial-era law criminalizing gay sex retained in Singapore

Gay sex is illegal in Singapore. The ban carries a maximum penalty of two years in jail for homosexual acts.

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Gay sex is illegal in Singapore.

That’s the gist in the decision made by Singapore’s High Court, which ruled that its colonial-era law criminalizing sex between men is constitutional and would be retained, overturning a bid by gay rights activists to scrap it.

Singapore is one of former British colonies still clinging to Section 377A of the Penal Code (the “anti-buggery law”), which came into force in 1938 after being adapted from a 19th-century Indian penal code. Though rarely enforced, that the law exists at all is an affront to equal treatment sought by the LGBTQIA people particularly of Singapore.

In Singapore, the ban carries a maximum penalty of two years in jail for homosexual acts.

The latest attempt to overturn the law was spearheaded by three gay activists who lodged court challenges seeking to prove that the law is unconstitutional. But the High Court dismissed all three after hearing them together behind closed doors. The High Court ruled that the law does not violate articles of Singapore’s constitution regarding equality and freedom of speech.

The High Court similarly stated that just because the legislation was not enforced, it did not “render it redundant,” stating: “Legislation remains important in reflecting public sentiment and beliefs.”

Speaking outside the High Court, M. Ravi, a lawyer for one of the complainants, said that the decision is “shocking to the conscience and it is so arbitrary. It is so discriminatory, this legislation.”

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This is not the first time that the law was challenged. In 2014, the first challenge to the law was also dismissed, highlighting that the city-state is still conservative.

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Technology

In politics and pandemics, trolls use fear, anger to drive clicks

“As consumers continue to see ads that contain false claims and are intentionally designed to use their emotions to manipulate them, it’s important for them to have cool heads and understand the motives behind them.”

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Facebook users flipping through their feeds in the fall of 2016 faced a minefield of targeted advertisements pitting blacks against police, southern whites against immigrants, gun owners against Obama supporters and the LGBTQ community against the conservative right.

Photo by @uck from Unsplash.com

Placed by distant Russian trolls, they didn’t aim to prop up one candidate or cause, but to turn Americans against one another.

The ads were cheaply made and full of threatening, vulgar language.

And, according to a sweeping new analysis of more than 2,500 of the ads, they were remarkably effective, eliciting clickthrough rates as much as nine times higher than what is typical in digital advertising.

“We found that fear and anger appeals work really well in getting people to engage,” said lead author Chris Vargo, an assistant professor of Advertising, Public Relations and Media Design at University of Colorado Boulder.

The study, published in Journalism and Mass Communication Quarterly, is the first to take a comprehensive look at ads placed by the infamous Russian propaganda machine known as the Internet Research Agency (IRA) and ask: How effective were they? And what makes people click on them?

While focused on ads running in 2016, the study’s findings resonate in the age of COVID-19 and the run-up to the 2020 election, the authors say.

“As consumers continue to see ads that contain false claims and are intentionally designed to use their emotions to manipulate them, it’s important for them to have cool heads and understand the motives behind them,” said Vargo.

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For the study, Vargo and assistant professor of advertising Toby Hopp scoured 2,517 Facebook and Instagram ads downloaded from the U.S. House of Representatives Permanent Select Committee On Intelligence website. The committee made the ads publicly available in 2018 after concluding that the IRA had been creating fake U.S. personas, setting up fake social media pages, and using targeted paid advertising to “sow discord” among U.S. residents.

Using computational tools and manual coding, Vargo and Hopp analyzed every ad, looking for the inflammatory, obscene or threatening words and language hostile to a particular group’s ethnic, religious or sexual identity. They also looked at which groups each ad targeted, how many clicks the ad got, and how much the IRA paid.

Collectively, the IRA spent about $75,000 to generate about 40.5 million impressions with about 3.7 million users clicking on them – a clickthrough rate of 9.2%.

That compares to between .9% and 1.8% for a typical digital ad.

While ads using blatantly racist language didn’t do well, those using cuss words and inflammatory words (like “sissy,” “idiot,” “psychopath” and “terrorist”) or posing a potential threat did. Ads that evoked fear and anger did the best.

One IRA advertisement targeting users with an interest in the Black Lives Matter movement stated: “They killed an unarmed guy again! We MUST make the cops stop thinking that they are above the law!” Another shouted: “White supremacists are planning to raise the racist flag again!” Meanwhile, ads targeting people who sympathized with white conservative groups read “Take care of our vets; not illegals” or joked “If you voted for Obama: We don’t want your business because you are too stupid to own a firearm.”

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Only 110 out of 2,000 mentioned Donald Trump.

“This wasn’t about electing one candidate or another,” said Vargo. “It was essentially a make-Americans-hate-each-other campaign.”

The ads were often unsophisticated, with spelling or grammatical errors and poorly photoshopped images. Yet at only a few cents to distribute, the IRA got an impressive rate of return.

“I was shocked at how effective these appeals were,” said Vargo.

The authors warn that they have no doubt such troll farms are still at it.

According to some news reports, Russian trolls are already engaged in disinformation campaigns around COVID-19.

“I think with any major story, you are going to see this kind of disinformation circulated,” said Hopp. “There are bad actors out there who have goals that are counter to the aspirational goals of American democracy, and there are plenty of opportunities for them to take advantage of the current structure of social media.”

Ultimately, the authors believe better monitoring, via both machine algorithms and human reviewers, could help stem the tide of disinformation.

“We as a society need to start seriously talking about what role the platforms and government should play in times like the 2020 election or during COVID-19 when we have a compelling need for high-quality, accurate information to be distributed,” said Hopp.

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Health & Wellness

COVID-19 linked to cardiac injury, worse outcomes for patients with heart conditions

COVID-19 can have fatal consequences for people with underlying cardiovascular disease and cause cardiac injury even in patients without underlying heart conditions.

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COVID-19 can have fatal consequences for people with underlying cardiovascular disease and cause cardiac injury even in patients without underlying heart conditions, according to a review published today in JAMA Cardiology by experts at The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston (UTHealth).

Experts have known that viral illnesses such as COVID-19 can cause respiratory infections that may lead to lung damage and even death in severe cases. Less is known about the effects on the cardiovascular system.

“It is likely that even in the absence of previous heart disease, the heart muscle can be affected by coronavirus disease,” said Mohammad Madjid, MD, MS, the study’s lead author and an assistant professor of cardiology at McGovern Medical School at UTHealth. “Overall, injury to heart muscle can happen in any patient with or without heart disease, but the risk is higher in those who already have heart disease.”

The study authors explained that research from previous coronavirus and influenza epidemics suggest that viral infections can cause acute coronary syndromes, arrhythmias, and the development of, or exacerbation of, heart failure.

In a clinical bulletin issued by the American College of Cardiology, it was revealed that the case fatality rate of COVID-19 for patients with cardiovascular disease was 10.5%. Data also points to a greater likelihood that individuals over the age of 65 with coronary heart disease or hypertension can contract the illness, as well experience more severe symptoms that will require critical care.

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According to the study authors, critical cases are those that reported respiratory failure, septic shock, and/or multiple organ dysfunction or failure that resulted in death. “It is reasonable to expect that significant cardiovascular complications linked to COVID-19 will occur in severe symptomatic patients because of the high inflammatory response associated with this illness,” said Madjid, who also sees patients at the UT Physicians Multispecialty – Bayshore clinic.

The novel virus that causes COVID-19 was first identified in January 2020. This novel virus originated in Wuhan, China, and by March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization had declared it a global pandemic. The three most common symptoms of COVID-19 include fever, cough, and shortness of breath. Other less common symptoms are muscle pain, sore throat, nasal congestion, and headache. Symptoms can appear as soon as two days after exposure to the virus to up to14 days after. There is a high viral load in both symptomatic and asymptomatic patients, meaning asymptomatic spread between person to person is likely.

Previously identified coronaviruses known to cause severe illness in humans include Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus (SARS-CoV) and Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS-CoV). SARS-CoV was first identified in southern China in 2002, and by 2003 it had killed over 8,000 individuals in 29 countries. Data suggests that SARS-CoV may have resulted in cardiovascular complications, such as acute coronary syndrome and myocardial infarction. MERS-CoV was first discovered in 2012 in Saudi Arabia. As of 2019, 2,494 cases have been confirmed along with 858 deaths in 26 countries.

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Current COVID-19 treatment options are being researched, and there is a large effort to develop vaccines for prevention and to test antivirals for the treatment of the disease. In the meantime, the study authors encourage all individuals to consult with their health care providers about being vaccinated against influenza and that at-risk patients seek advice on receiving a pneumonia vaccine from their primary care physician. While these vaccines will not provide specific protection against COVID-19, they can help prevent superimposed infections alongside COVID-19.

Study co-authors include Payam Safavi-Naeini, MD, of the Texas Heart Institute; Scott Solomon, MD, of Harvard Medical School; and Orly Vardeny, PharmD, of the University of Minnesota.

It is worth noting that cardiovascular issues greatly affect members of the LGBTQIA community.

A 2018 study in the US, for instance, noted that lesbian, gay and bisexual adults have a “disproportionately high risk” of heart disease and other cardiac problems when compared to heterosexuals.

Another 2018 study noted that trauma, including abuse and neglect, is associated with higher cardiovascular disease risk for lesbian and bi women.


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Health & Wellness

To stay positive, live in the moment – but plan ahead

Mindfulness is when people are centered and living in the moment, rather than dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. Proactive coping is when people engage in planning to reduce the likelihood of future stress.

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A recent study from North Carolina State University finds that people who manage to balance living in the moment with planning for the future are best able to weather daily stress without succumbing to negative moods.

“It’s well established that daily stressors can make us more likely to have negative affect, or bad moods,” says Shevaun Neupert, a professor of psychology at NC State and corresponding author of a paper on the recent work. “Our work here sheds additional light on which variables influence how we respond to daily stress.”

Specifically, the researchers looked at two factors that are thought to influence how we handle stress: mindfulness and proactive coping.

Mindfulness is when people are centered and living in the moment, rather than dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. Proactive coping is when people engage in planning to reduce the likelihood of future stress.

To see how these factors influence responses to stress, the researchers looked at data from 223 study participants. The study included 116 people between the ages of 60 and 90, and 107 people between the ages of 18 and 36. All of the study participants were in the United States.

All of the study participants were asked to complete an initial survey in order to establish their tendency to engage in proactive coping. Participants were then asked to complete questionnaires for eight consecutive days that explored fluctuations in mindfulness. On those eight days, participants were also asked to report daily stressors and the extent to which they experienced negative mood.

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The researchers found that engaging in proactive coping was beneficial at limiting the effect of daily stressors, but that this advantage essentially disappeared on days when a participant reported low mindfulness.

“Our results show that a combination of proactive coping and high mindfulness result in study participants of all ages being more resilient against daily stressors,” Neupert says. “Basically, we found that proactive planning and mindfulness account for about a quarter of the variance in how stressors influenced negative affect.

“Interventions targeting daily fluctuations in mindfulness may be especially helpful for those who are high in proactive coping and may be more inclined to think ahead to the future at the expense of remaining in the present.”

The paper, “Thinking Ahead and Staying in the Present: Implications for Reactivity to Daily Stressors,” is published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences. First author of the paper is Melody Polk, an undergraduate at NC State. The paper was co-authored by Emily Smith and Ling-Rui Zhang, graduate students at NC State. The work was done with support from NC State’s College of Humanities and Social Sciences.

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LIFESTYLE & CULTURE

5 Instant ways to relieve stress

Let’s dive in and find out how you can deal with your stress instantly.

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With everything happening around the world regarding this global pandemic, stress is inevitable. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, the uncertainty of the future can get the best of you. Keeping yourself calm and healthy is the biggest challenge these days. 

Therefore, you need to try everything in your access to fight with panic, stress, depression. While there are countless ways to deal with stress, there are still very few that are practical and promise instant results. 

In this post, I’ve narrowed down some of the most effective ways that have the potential to calm your nerves. 

So, without any further discussion, let’s dive in and find out how you can deal with your stress instantly. Here you go:

Deep Breathes Always Work

Have you ever felt so stressed that you find it almost difficult to breathe? If yes, then you need to lay back immediately and stop everything that you are doing. Analyze your situation and start taking deep breaths. Keep doing so until you feel a little better and start feeling your breath again. 

This practice is very effective, and more often than not, it works. If you make it a part of your routine, you’ll notice that you’ll have fewer panic attacks. Above all, it will help you remain composed during a sudden crisis. So, next time when you get another episode of a panic attack, you should work on your breath. 

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Take a Walk 

Taking a long walk alone works similarly to taking deep breaths. The best thing about going on a walk is that it provides you with the opportunity to clear your head from the toxic thoughts, and you are able to see things clearly. Above all, it entails obvious health benefits. So, you should be doing this regardless of your anxiety and stress. 

Give CBD a Try

Understandably, you don’t always have the energy to go out and take a walk. Lucky for you, there’s a solution to this problem as well. CBD has proven health benefits. According to different medical researches, it can help efficiently when it comes to reducing stress. 

You take it in any form, but in my personal experience, CBD oil works the best. Therefore, I would recommend you try CBD oil next time you feel overwhelmed with anything that’s bothering you. 

Physically Exhaust Your Body 

One can go on and on about the benefits of the exercise. You’ll hear people telling you that you should be working out and doing physical exercises to keep yourself physically fit. But, here’s what nobody tells you. Physical exhausting yourself releases all kinds of happy hormones that are good for your mental health. Hence, they can instantly work as a stress reliever. All you have to do is, get up and start exercising. It doesn’t have to be hardcore, a simple jog or running can do just the trick. 

So, next time, whenever you feel like giving up to stress and anxiety, do one of the things as mentioned above, and you’ll do just fine.

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Health & Wellness

DOH’s Duque says don’t wait for test if you have COVID-19 symptoms; manage it

DOH’s interim guidelines on the management of persons under monitoring (PUMs) suspected with COVID-19 for home quarantine.

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Department of Health (DOH) Secretary Francisco Duque III advised people who have symptoms of COVID-19 to manage their condition as if they really have the disease caused by the new coronavirus instead of waiting to get tested.

As quoted by Inquirer.net from a television interview, Duque said that “if you already know the symptoms, manage it as if it’s COVID-19. If all indications suggest that it’s probably COVID-19, why wait for a test? Manage it as COVID-19 right away. You assume. That’s the way to do it.”

Among the symptoms of COVID-19 are fever, dry cough, cold, shortness of breath, and diarrhea.

Duque, however, did NOT provide the “how to” on managing COVID-19, particularly for those who are not going to get tested, or access medical facilities.

But on February 17, DOH issued Memorandum No. 2020-0090, which contained the interim guidelines on the management of persons under monitoring (PUMs) suspected with COVID-19 for home quarantine.

The guidelines enumerate people who should be home quarantined:

  1. Any person who does not exhibit any sign/symptom, has history of travel to other areas of China and/or history of exposure to a confirmed case of COVID-19 within the past 14 days.
  2. Any person who exhibits fever or any symptom of lower respiratory illness, and has a history of travel to other countries with a confirmed case of COVID-19 but without any history of exposure.
  3. Those undergoing home quarantine shall be prohibited to leave their rooms/hotels where they are quarantined until they have been certified by the local health official to have finished the 14-day requirement for quarantine procedures.

Now how to implement home quarantine?

PUMs should be isolated.

  1. Place the PUM alone in a well-ventilated room, preferably with toilet and bathroom. If this is not possible, maintain a distance of at least one meter from the PUM (for example, sleep in a separate bed).
  2. Assign one person who is of good health as caretaker of the PUM.
  3. Do not allow visitors, family members and even caregivers in the room of the PUM.
  4. Limit the activities of the PUM in his/her room only. If this is not possible, ensure that shared spaces are well-ventilated.
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PUM should use surgical mask.

  1. The PUM should wear a surgical mask fitted tightly to the nose, mouth and chin when in the same room with another household member or when talking to others.
  2. If alone, the PUM is not required to wear mask.
  3. Do not touch mask during use. If the mask gets wet or dirty with secretions (e.g. saliva), change immediately and dispose properly.
  4. After eight hours, throw used mask. Do not reuse or wash masks.
  5. After removal of mask, wash hands with water and soap, or rub hands with 70% alcohol.
The PUM should wear a surgical mask fitted tightly to the nose, mouth and chin when in the same room with another household member or when talking to others.
Photo by @anshu18 from Unsplash.com

Hand hygiene practice for all.

  1. Everyone should perform hand hygiene following contact with PUM, or if in contact with immediate environment.
  2. Perform hand hygiene by washing hands with water and soap. If hands are not visibly dirty, use 70% alcohol.
  3. When using soap and water, dry hands using disposable paper towels. If not available, use dedicated cloth towels and replace when wet.
  4. Hand hygiene should be performed before and after preparing food, before eating, after using toilet, and when hand is dirty.

Respiratory hygiene and precaution for all.

  1. Cover mouth and nose when coughing or sneezing by using surgical mask, tissues, flexed elbows, sleeves of clothes or inside the neckline of shirts. Follow this up with hand hygiene.
  2. Avoid direct contact with body fluids, particularly oral and respiratory secretions, and feces.
  3. Avoid sharing toothbrushes, cigarettes, towels, bed linen, etc.
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Food handling for PUM under home quarantine.

  1. The assigned caretaker should serve the plates/tray only up to the room door (where the PUM is staying).
  2. After eating, pick plates/tray using gloves. Perform hand hygiene afterwards.
  3. Utensils should be cleaned thoroughly with water and soap. Reused as needed.
  4. Do not share utensils with PUMs.
Gloves, tissues and masks used by PUM should be placed in separate container before disposing with other household waste.
Photo by @claybanks from Unsplash.com

Disposal of used gloves, tissue papers and masks.

  1. Immediately throw materials used to cover mouth or nose.
  2. If reusable items are used (e.g. handkerchief), immediately wash after use with water and detergent soap.
  3. Gloves, tissues and masks used by PUM should be placed in separate container before disposing with other household waste.

Cleaning and disinfection of quarantine venues.

  1. Frequently clean/disinfect frequently touched surfaces (e.g. bedside tables, door knobs, bed frames, etc). Use household disinfectant; or diluted bleach solution (i.e. 1 part bleach and 99 parts water).
  2. Clean/disinfect bathroom/toilet at least once a day.
  3. Regularly clean clothes, bed linens, towels, etc. of PUMs.

Now, this is important.

PUMs who develop symptoms should be immediately transported to the nearest health facility. In the same way, all household members of PUMs should seek immediate medical care when signs/symptoms develop.

Frequently clean/disinfect frequently touched surfaces.
Photo by @socialcut from Unsplash.com

Because the DOH is not at all considering mass testing (yet) in the Philippines, these tips may offer temporary comfort as the country continues to come to grips with COVID-19 with the country’s health department’s weaknesses in offering quality healthcare for all now highlighted.

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