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The real deal of love

Outrage Magazine’s contributing writer Calex believes that there is no need to force things because “overall, when everything is ready—the soul, timing and the universe—everything will just fall into place without me forcing things because they will just happen.”

After coming out as a lesbian in early 2009, I was instantly and madly attracted to two of my friends. Andrea, whom I have just met at the gay club, instantly drew me to her, she’s mysterious, smart, successful and sexy. Emily, is my good friend and former gym buddy, who introduced Andrea to me. Perhaps, I was just fascinated that I realized where I truly belong—that I became comfortable about the real me. I was honest enough to tell what I felt for them—that I liked them, but I just wanted to meet other people as well. Talk about shopping! It’s like I don’t want to purchase the first thing I saw. Besides, I was new to the scene and wanted to meet loads of people see where things go. In short, I didn’t want to commit until I was sure that I want to be with that person, and she wanted me too.

Looking back, I realized I projected the energy of not being ready to commit. Hence, I attracted both girls who are similar in my situation. Andrea just broke up with her fiancé of 4 years, and Emily was in an open relationship with a woman in Canada. Currently, Andrea is in a polyamorous relationship, while I have no update of Emily’s love life, just that she’s finishing her thesis back in the Netherlands. In addition, another friend of mine is slimming down to keep her husband. Thus, I am now asking myself if I am more suitable to an open relationship? Maybe this can keep everyone happy? It’s unrealistic to expect or imagine that you can only have one partner in your whole life. Everything and everyone that comes into our lives happens at the right time and place—only the soul knows about it. No mistakes, no failures, no regrets. Take it with a grain of salt and run with it.

An NPSB (no partner since birth), I’ve seen more monogamous couples break up and have nasty lawsuits of annulment, divorce and legal separation filed than those who have chosen to cohabit. Is it because people get bored to spend their lives with just one person? Isn’t life this one big classroom wherein we learn based on trial and error? As beings, our energy changes from one form to another, either we stay in the same level or progress by passing our tests. We end up with people who complement the energy we project, either they are of lower or higher spiritual standing to us. Yet, the goal is mutually beneficial; we ought to learn from each other. No endings, only changes.

Perhaps this is why I am not a marriage advocate. I don’t want a nasty break-up ruining our couple and/or family live/s. First, everything should be split 50/50 and let’s keep our jobs so that nobody is totally dependent on the other. Also, I would like us to keep and flourish our individual identities—we are more than a couple/family, work, et cetera. Definitely, I keep my options open and will allow my future partner to spend time with their friends and their own ‘me’ time. At times, it’s just nice to get away from them all—like spending a day by yourself, reading a book in the park, without distractions of the Internet and mobile phone.

Overall, I just keep reminding myself, when everything is ready—the soul, timing and the universe—everything will just fall into place without me forcing things because they will just happen. Only the soul knows what is truly good for you, be it bad or good. Just reminding everyone to enjoy and focus on the present.

I leave you with this article: 12 Signs that Your Crush May Be the One.

Converse with Calex at

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