This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Joey’s condition was common knowledge in the barangay in Pagsanjan where he used to live. “So while growing up, people treated me differently. Para akong kababalaghan doon sa aming community. So natatak na sa utak ko na different ako (It was like I was a mystery in our community. So it made an impression in my mind, that I’m different).”
He wasn’t told, though, that – born with ambiguous genitalia, and then assigned male at birth – he was named “Joey” because it’s gender neutral, and that when they come of age, they could pick what they wanted to be (a girl or a boy). He was even compared to track athlete Nancy Navalta, who people assumed was intersex. And he was similarly told that the doctor who attended him at birth recommended for him to undergo surgery, but his father refused since “masakitin akong bata, baka daw may mangyari (I was a sickly child and he worried something bad could happen), so postpone the surgery.”
GROWING UP INTERSEX
Growing up intersex wasn’t easy. Joey experienced being taken to some hidden place by a person who was curious about his condition, and “tapos gusto niya makita katawan ko (he wanted to see my body).”
In his school in Laguna, Joey was teased, called “P, T and I – pepe, titi, itlog (vagina, penis, testicles). The teachers didn’t do anything. I think I didn’t get support from them because they were just as mystified.” Also in school, he had difficulty using facilities – e.g. “Hindi ako nakakapag-CR ng tama sa schools. Hirap na hirap ako. Sa boy ako pero I had to use the cubicle (I couldn’t use the toilet properly at school. It was hard for me. I used the male toilet and yet I had to use the cubicle).”
Though Joey was eventually diagnosed to be with hypospadia, he was confused while growing up. “Nagkaroon ako ng (I had a combination of) gender dysphoria and gender identity crisis.”
In 2010, when Joey was 25, he had “stage four testicular cancer, so this was related to my being intersex.” Apparently, his testicles did not descend, and his parents were not advised properly about what could happen when this happened to a person. “So after 25 years, this progressed to cancer since the testicles did not have proper placement in my body.”
The surgery and succeeding treatments were costly, Joey recalled. “Around ₱1.5 million since I had two surgeries, and then chemotherapy for six months.” And then after the surgery, “nawalan ako ng source of testosterone. Kung di ako mag-sa-shot ng testosterone, nagtutubuan mga suso ko (I lost my source of testosterone. If I don’t take testosterone shots, my bosom appears), and feminine features start to surface. With testosterone shots, Nebido, I spend ₱13,000 every two months.”
LEARNING ABOUT INTERSEX
In fact, Joey only knew of the term “intersex” in 2019, while taking up Law. The case of Jeff Cagandahan was discussed in one of his subjects. But even then, even when he already had the word to identify themselves with, Joey said he didn’t have the strength to come out. This was particularly since he believed he reached a point in their life where “di ko naman need eh; di ko need i-broadcast ito (I didn’t have to come out; I didn’t have to broadcast my condition anymore).”
But then he started thinking that someone may be going through what he experienced. “Parang feeling ko maraming bata na kagaya ko. Lumalaking parang in the dark. Ako kasi feeling ko mag-isa ako eh. Doon na ako naglakas ng loob na mag-out (I felt that there are kids like myself. Who grew up in the dark. Because for me, I felt I was alone. And that gave me strength to come out).”
This is also important for Joey because he believes that intersex people face various issues. In his case, for example, that feeling of being “kulang (lacking)”, such as when entering romantic relationships. “In the end, I became a source of narcissistic support, so I’ve had abusive relationships.” Then there’s the impact of everything he medically went through because of his intersex variation on his sexual health. “I also don’t have libido, and I think it’s related to my condition because I now lack hormones in my body.”
ONGOING DIFFICULTIES
Beyond these personal experiences, Joey was also made aware that despite the hardships intersex Filipinos go through, “there are no agencies solely helping intersex people… except for Intersex Philippines, Inc.” And as was shown in his experience, this is bad because when there are no experts, “there are errors committed when parents solely base their decisions – such as in imposing ‘normalization surgery’ on intersex children – on the advice of doctors, even if they also lack knowledge.”
Joey wants parents of intersex children to reach out. Besides, he added, internet is readily available now. “Spend one hour in YouTube, marami ka na matututunan about intersex. Hindi mo na kailangan ng mga medical journal. Yun lang ang gawin ng mga magulang (you will already learn a lot. You no longer need medical journals. That’s all they need to do).”
EXPRESSION OF DIVERSITY
But more importantly for Joey, “This condition should not be treated as a disease, or even as a condition. I believe that God is very wise; God will not create something unintentionally. Is it a mutation? No! That’s created intentionally to add variety. Like a flower; if all flowers are daisies or roses, that’s not nice. We need variety, we need variations. I think that’s the same with those in the spectrum of intersex. Male, female, intersex. That’s how this should be seen. Not as a disease or an illness.”
And for younger intersex people, “huwag nilang iisipin na nag-iisa sila. Merong mga tao na naka-experience ng mga possibly pinagdadaanan nila. Reach out kasi sa mga ganitong situation, ang pinaka-important para malabanan mo yung struggle is support group. Yung may sasabihan sila. Isipin na merong mga tao out there na puwede mag-guide and puwede tumulong sa kanila (don’t think you’re alone. There are others who may have experienced what you’re going through. Reach out because in this situation, to face your struggle you need a support group. One you can talk to. Think that there are others out there willing to guide and help you),” Joey ended. – WITH ARTHUR ABAD NWABIA
THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE APPEARED IN “I EXISTS”, A COFFEE TABLE BOOK PRODUCED IN 2023 BY INTERSEX PHILIPPINES, INC. (IXPI) TO HIGHLIGHT THAT THE ‘I’ IN THE LGBTQIA ACRONYM EXISTS, AND THAT MANY OF THEIR ISSUES CONTINUE TO BE NEGLECTED EVEN BY THE LGBTQIA COMMUNITY.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ON IXPI, OR OF “I EXISTS”, CONTACT IXPI, THE PIONEERING ORGANIZATION FOR INTERSEX PEOPLE IN THE PHILIPPINES.
