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Meeting Mr. ‘Virtual’ Right

So you want to go online to find Mr. Right – here are suggested tips on how to go about it, so that (when he finally comes along) you don’t eff it up.

The likes of,,, et cetera gave dating a new face – no longer do we have to go to gay venues (with physical existence, that is), e.g. clubs, baths and saunas, since the picking and/or getting picked up can now be done through the largely faceless (and intangible) information superhighway, i.e. Internet. With the change of “venue” come the changes in approaches, as the rules – or some sense of rules, at least – affected by the physical versus the virtual settings.

A run through on how to succeed when gay dating online:

  • Create an honest persona. No, you don’t have to put your real name. No, you don’t have to tell anyone where you live. And no, you don’t have to everything about you just like that. But yes, even when just creating profiles, be sure that using “HUGE COCK” to describe the size of your genitalia means exactly that, else you’ll have to constantly find excuses not to have sex with him whenever you meet him, especially if you end up liking him. As in non-virtual relationships, honesty is still the basis of forming a relationship online, so be sure to tell only what you can live up with in the flesh. Related to this is to be careful not to sound pathetic, e.g. use of suggestive names like “Hung4U” or “SexyLover” or “WaitingBottm” are: 1) desperate sounding, as well as 2) delimits possibilities, as it, automatically, makes the profile owners mere sex objects, not relationship people.
  • Related to above is to be specific. If you are just out to have sexual partners, then suggestive names will suffice. But for someone named “BigHole” or “CockCrazy” to claim they are only looking for long term relationships obviously doesn’t hold sway. Note that going online isn’t everyone’s idea of finding dates just because it is yours – help out those looking for specific by being specific.
  • Yet again related to the above, whatever the specifications required of you may be, send photographs accordingly. Meaning, if they are out for just sex, give the password to your cock shots; but if it’s a date you want, send that photograph from your yearbook (or maybe not THAT Photoshopped, but you get the point).
  • When sending messages, use correct grammar/syntax/et cetera. No matter that using English, for example, is viewed as imperialist, but many – if not most – still judge the way people speak/write. In this case, being able to use English will definitely. Oh, and try to avoid ALL CAPS – that’s shouting in online communication.
  • Don’t overdo it. Meaning, avoid “I love you” or giving out your number or sending nude photographs or giving out love sonnets when sending your first message. This is way tasteless in real dating, and it isn’t any better online.
  • Having said the above, though, be personal. Don’t send out generic messages – it’s awkward realizing you’ve been emailing the same person using different accounts the same messages when you finally meet the person.
  • Read between the lines – this is the “body language” of the Internet. E.g. when someone responded “Whatever” to your inquiry of “I am a happy-go-lucky person into almost everything, which I hope you are, too. What do you like doing, should the time come for us to hang with each other?”, it means that he was civil enough to respond to your message, but he isn’t THAT into you, so drop it.
  • When getting a sense that something magical can happen between the two of you, set a “real” date. It’s the next step, obviously. Just note: 1) To do it in public, 2) Follow dating rules as they apply to other non-online dates, 3) et cetera. And when things don’t turn out as well as you want them to, remember to be civil on and offline, e.g. don’t send out hate mails, or badmouth ex-dates who didn’t like you.

There are actually many relationships that started from online, so that, despite the initial perspective that no real relationships can be formed through online dates, the Internet has become as just another venue for people to meet. The question now is on how to make use of the technology to, hopefully, help you finally find the one for you. So go forth and start the typing…

Written By

"If someone asked you about me, about what I do for a living, it's to 'weave words'," says Kiki Tan, who has been a writer "for as long as I care to remember." With this, this one writes about... anything and everything.


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