Cebu City-based TV personality and writer/editor Jude Bacalso was at the center of controversy starting Monday, July 22, over an issue that started with an alleged misgendering, which led to what was deemed an unjust punishment given to the violator, and then with netizens joining the fracas.
n a post on his Facebook page on Sunday, July 21, one John Calderon described an incident in a restaurant inside a Cebu mall. Particularly, he supposedly helped an employee of Ulli’s Ayala Center Cebu after the same was “made to stand” for approximately two hours after he offended Bacalso by misgendering her.
“Hello! Ikaw ba to ang nagpabarog og empleyado sa Ulli’s Ayala Center Cebu for two (2) hours because this server from Ulli’s called you ‘Sir’?… So ni-interfere ko and asked this guy Jude unsay nahitabo if tag-iya ba sya or customer. The guy Jude sarcastically said na ‘Go ask him (referring to the server) what happened.’ Then I asked the server unsay nahitabo and ingon sha ‘Natawag nako shag sir.’ then gibira nako ang server ngadto sa ilang staff room then this server broke down into tears and mura shag ga panic attack,” Calderon recalled at length.
It is worth noting that Calderon also repeatedly misgendered Bacalso.
Calderon also alleged that the employee was shamed, and that even if he already apologized to Bacalso, he was allegedly still not allowed to seat until he satisfied a line of questioning of Bacalso.
“Og wala me maabot sa akong mommy ngadto og wala me mu interfere, dili jud mahunong og barog kaning server facing this guy Jude Bacalso,” Calderon stated.
After Calderon’s post went viral, Bacalso initially addressed the matter in a now-deleted Facebook post.
“What transpired between me and the staff at a restaurant was a series of errors. Yes, I was addressed as sir. No, I did not scream or shout at the wait staff who did. My students call me sir and my nephews and nieces call me uncle, so it is no skin off my nose and it is funny to me that transphobes seem to think I am anguished by it. I am used to being misgendered, and if it is an honest mistake, I take that as an opportunity to educate,” Bacalso was quoted as saying.
Bacalso also added that since she knows the owners of the venue, she informed them about the incident.
Bacalso, nonetheless, also stated that the employee may have stood there for hours.
“Did the staff stand there for hours? Yes, we were waiting to resolve it with the owners. Did I demand that he stand there as punishment? No. The supervisor was there when I discussed with the erring staff that perhaps a gender sensitivity seminar would benefit them. The supervisor acknowledged that this incident was a wake-up call to them and that they would welcome that opportunity,” Bacalso added.
The restaurant eventually posted two statements on their Facebook page saying they were handling the incident internally.
Even if the immediate post from Bacalso was removed, she eventually posted on Facebook that the issue had already been tackled with the management of the business. Sans the employee involved, she said she met with people from the company and “I am happy to share that we have agreed to pursue together more inclusive practices in the restaurant.”
Seemingly to apologize, she added: “I also realized that in the impassioned pursuit of my advocacy, I could have done with a little measure of kindness, sadly quite absent in the ruckus this has all unnecessarily created when it was made public without our knowledge. I made a personal apology to the group present, and requested if I may do so for the concerned waiter. I am also making it very public with this post, as it has become quite public fodder.”
Bacalso has been maligned online, even if LGBTQIA leaders have been divided, some seeing her side due to the impacts of misgendering, while others not accepting of the seeming entitlement that Bacalso is perceived to have shown.
For instance, Magdalena Robinson, who helms transgender organization CURLS in Cebu City, stated that “The case of Jude Bacalso is a pain point of the advocacy the make society realize that misgendering is an offense… Wala yan sa mukha, sa genitals, ug uban pa. TGD (Trans and gender diverse) people really feel the distress when we are misgendered. Tomorrow, or a day in the future it will not be Jude, it will not be in Ullis, it will not just be standing up for two hrs, it will happen to whoever, whenever and however. So need mag-step up sa mga business sector that they will encounter TGD people in their transactions. So they have to prepare their staff for these occurrences.”
Drag queen Lumina Klum focused on what was allegedly done to the employee. “So pag pinatayo mo ng 2 oras yung nagkamali sa harap mo bigla kang tatawaging ma’am? If nagkamali, educate! Hindi lahat ng tao aware sa ganyan.”
Disney Aguila, who heads Bahaghari Center for SOGIE Research, Education and Advocacy, Inc., agreed, stating that education should have been done instead of shaming. “We educate not to humiliate.”
But with the online world now attacking Bacalso not because of the deemed entitlement, but because she’s transgender, drag queen DeeDee Marié J Holliday stated that there is a need to “please stop misgendering her. Address the way she handled the situation. Calling Jude as ‘sir/uncle’ makes you part of the problem.”
