Parents don’t need to be blamed or shamed when providing sex education to their children, they need better support to help them safely parent their children in an increasingly complicated, digital world without compromising their values. This is because self-identified feminist mothers unintendedly compromised their values about children’s rights to comprehensive sex education due to societal pressures and fears of judgement.
This is according to a study — “The compromises and contradictions of ‘feminist’ sex and relationships education in the home: empowerment vs. protection in digital risk societies” by Emily Setty — that was published in Sex Education.
For this study, 15 self-identified feminist mothers were involved in one-hour one-to-one interviews that aimed to explore their perspectives on: topics connected to young people’s sociosexual lives and development; how they conceive of and enact their role as sexuality educators for their children; and how evolving sociocultural contexts to sex and relationships and tapestries of learning and influence affecting their children shape sex and relationships education in the home.
While participants shared their commitment to fostering open and honest communication with their children about sexual rights, safety, and wellbeing, they also expressed significant concerns about protecting their children – particularly their daughters – from gendered risks of shame, stigma, and violence, often pushing them to adopt protective strategies that conflicted with their feminist values.
For example, while advocating for consent and empowerment, some mothers admitted to discouraging certain clothing choices or closely monitoring their children’s online activities to mitigate risks. These actions reflected a tension between their feminist ideals and the fear of gendered stigma or harm.
According to Setty, “the feelings shared by the mothers in our study show a tough struggle: while they wanted to break away from traditional gender roles and encourage independence in their children, the pressures of today’s risk-aware society often made them second-guess those goals. This highlights a bigger issue—how hard it is to balance feminist values in a world still shaped by limiting ideas about gender and sexuality.
“We need to empower parents — not burden them with blame or simplistic advice. By reflecting on their own values and biases, parents can help their children critically navigate the challenges they face, whether online or offline.”
The study also found that these feminist mothers often externalized their struggles, attributing their challenges to broader social norms that undermine feminist principles.
For instance, participants indicated that while they advocated for their children’s rights to express themselves freely, they felt compelled to impose restrictions for fear of negative repercussions, particularly concerning issues such as gender, sexuality and online interactions.
Setty continued: “The challenges young people face today, particularly online, are extensions of issues that have always existed—but with new dimensions. If we want to support them, we need to move beyond alarmism and instead provide a framework that combines structured guidance with opportunities for self-reflection and empowerment.
“Parents shouldn’t just be told to ‘do better’ or blamed for societal issues. Instead, they need tools to collaborate with their children and other adults—teachers, schools, and even peers—to create solutions that are practical, supportive, and free of shame.”
