This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBTQIA+ people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA+ people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Jasper, 24 years old from Cebu City, was around 16 years old when she was first paid for sex. “Pinoy ba, ingon-ana; 100 to 150 pesos, ana (a Filipino gave me ₱100-₱150),” she recalled. This was after she accompanied sex working friends while they worked, and a client chose to be with her, not them.
But she only became a regular sex worker when she turned 18 or 19, when her sex working friends started to regularly take her with them to service foreign clients. Eventually, she got used to working on her own. “Para mangita, usahay sa cell phone, ug meet-meet. Mura siyag apps. Kanang Tindr, ingon-ana (To look for clients, I use my mobile phone, then meet them in person. From apps. Like Tindr). Then meet.”
Jasper said some members of her family know of what she’s doing… to an extent. Her mom, for instance, thinks she’s just selling sex online, or if she meets clients at all, it’s just as an escort. But her father doesn’t know anything at all.
With sex work, Jasper said she trusts her guts. “Kung mahadlok ko, lakaw. Mudagan. Akong kahadlokan kanag… unsaon mi… kanang… nasa sa unsa ba, natabo sa trans sauna. Na-captive sila. Unya ug dili na madawat, patyon, ingon-ana (When I feel scared, I leave. I run. What I am afraid of is… it happened to transgender women in the past. They were held captive. And when they are not accepted, they could be killed).”
GROWING UP TRANS
Jasper was only 9 or 10 when, according to her, she realized she’s different.
She had an uncle who’s gay, and “nagliwat na sad ko niya (I took after him),” she said. “Ang pag-ila sa akong kaugalingon trans kay taking kog hormones. Unya sauna pa jud kay ganahan jud ko akong lawas mahimong babae, ingon-ana. Ganahan jud ko ma-babaye nga tawo (I always saw myself as trans since I have been taking hormones. Even then, I wanted to be feminine. I always wanted to be identified as a women).”
The third of eight kids, Jasper said both parents were shocked. And while her mom eventually accepted her, it took her father longer to do the same. “Hangtod nga naabot ko 15 years old, nadawat na niya kay nakapoy na siyag badlong (I reached 15, he just accepted me after getting tired stopping me).”
As a transgender person, however, her chosen family – the transgender community – has been a constant support, e.g. the hormones she takes are from her contacts there. Like others, however, they self-medicate, and really only learn from each other, even if none of them are medically trained. “Basta muguwapa (As long as you become beautiful).”
SURVIVING AT THE FRINGES
Now and then, Jasper stops selling sex. Like when she gets busy at school. “I still plan to finish,” she said.
But, yes, she returns to the industry “as needed”.
Not that this is a bed of roses for her.
“Naay customers nga mamugos (There are customers who force you),” she said, adding that this is particularly true with refusing to use condoms, which – she said – she usually uses. “Pero depende… kanang naay may dili, magpapugos na lang (But it also depends… there are some who force me, and I just cave in).”
This is the source of fear for her.
“Naa koy nadunggan, amiga nako, kaila nako, mag-adtoan sa amo. Namatay sa AIDS. Gikuyawan sad ko (I heard of someone, a friend, someone I know, who used to visit us. She died from AIDS-related complications. This scares me).”
This is why “pagkahuman nako nga di ko mag-condom ba, makonsensiya ko. Kuyawan ko, magpa-test ko (After sex without condom, I feel bad. I get scared. So I get myself tested).”
Sadly for Jasper, as far as STIs are concerned, condom is the only protection she knows of. And she said she is only able to get supplies after being forced to get tested for HIV; no HIV screening, no condoms are given to people like her in health facilities.
Alas, no, she has yet to hear about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).
LIFE DIRECTION
Doing sex work, said Jasper, works for her now. “Padayon (Continue),” she said.
And this is even if she recognizes the challenges existing. “Kaya man (They can be dealt with).”
Not that you’d hear her openly discuss her decision to be in this industry. “Sa kinahanglan ra (Just to those who needs to be told),” she said, adding that not everyone “deserves to be told about your life.”
In the end, “pretend as needed, pero padayon ra (but just continue). Escort kunuhay, mamurikat diay (Pretend to be an escort, though doing sex work). Ikabuhi bitaw (This keeps you alive anyway).”
