Think of love as a sort of garden that you need to take care of so it continues to grow. Once you fall in love, it doesn’t just stay that way forever. You do need to work at it, so that it sticks around and your love doesn’t go stagnant. If you have been with your partner for a long time and you have been through some major life changes then you could be after some tips and tricks on how to stay ‘in love’.
Check out the article below to find out how you can keep the spark alive with your partner.
6 Second Hug
One way you and your partner can learn to feel safe around each other is to initiate six second hugs. It is thought, and proven that a hug lasting six seconds is enough to send a healthy level of oxytocin around your body. This is the bonding hormone and it will lower your cortisol levels, which is the stress hormone. Your nervous system will thank you for this hug, and so will your partner. A six second hug is long enough to do while the kettle is boiling or before you go to sleep at night. This is a wonderful way to be intimate and loving towards your partner.
6 Second Kiss
So, you’ve heard of the six second hug. Now, it’s the turn of the six second kiss. This works exactly the same way as the hug. Kissing for six seconds has the exact same effects on your mind, body, and your soul. A six second kiss can make you feel like you are on top of the world, and everything just disappears so it’s just you and your partner present. This type of kiss takes you from room mates or coparents, back to lovers with passion and want for each other.
Put Tech Away
In order to stay present with your partner, you sometimes need to get your head out of technology. With it being the 21st century, everyone has a phone, laptop, or some form of tablet. This has taken a massive toll on communication and relationships. Try and invest in a lock box for your devices, that way you can set a timer and enjoy each other more. You could stick a film on, or play a board game. Do something that you both enjoy and be sure to find yourselves again.
Use Open-Ended Questions
Something else to consider is using open ended questions, rather than ones that get a simple yes or no answer. Instead of saying: did you have a nice day at work? Say something along the lines of so tell me, what did you get up to at work today? Make the answer longer, so you can speak more. You don’t just want to get through your relationship with yes and no’s. It can take some practice to do this, especially if you are only used to asking basic questions. Practice by writing some down and putting more thought into your questions. If you need some help with this then you can use something like love in five.
Don’t Get Boring
Another way you can keep the spark alive in your relationship is to stay fun, flirty, and free. Try and be spontaneous whenever you can, instead of penciling everything in, just head on out on random dates. If you both love theme parks for instance, then head to your nearest one or even go on a road trip to one further away. When your relationship becomes predictable, it then becomes boring.
Avoid Defensiveness
Have you ever been in a heated discussion and said you did this, you did that, you’re making me feel? These are all ways you are being defensive and it never ends well in these sorts of arguments and discussions. Instead, try to address issues in your relationship like this: I’ve been feeling a certain way lately and I think we need to spend some quality time together. This stops walls being put up instantly and not being able to get past the issue.
Stay Connected
Now, when was the last time you were intimate with your partner? As you get older and the longer you are together, the trickier it can become to be excited about jumping into bed together. However, that doesn’t have to spell the end of your relationship. Staying connected is much more than this, it can be a hug, a kiss, or even something simple like your partner doing the dishwasher or putting the clothes away.
Be aware, if you are going ages without intimacy then you can quickly enter the roommate or coparenting feeling. Which can lead to issues further down the line that will certainly need to be addressed.
Sext & Flirt
Next, you should make sure that you are thinking about sexting and flirting. This is particularly important if you spend a lot of time apart from one another. Sexting can make sure that you continue to feel connected even when it feels as though you can’t be farther apart. Sexting and flirting can both feel awkward at first, but the more you explore it, the more comfortable it becomes over time. When it comes to sexting it’s often a case of keeping an open mind and making sure that you know what is going to interest your partner, not just yourself.
Be Playful
Another option worth thinking about is how to bring the fun back into your relationship. There are lots of different ways that you can do this but the best option is to keep things as playful as possible. For instance, you might want to think about keeping jokes between the two of you. Or, you might also want to think about looking for ways to keep things fun throughout the day. This is just one idea that might work well for you and your partner. But there might be some trial and error that you need to think about.
So there you have it, ten ways you can bring back intimacy with your partner. Remember, if the spark fades, work on both yourself and your relationship. Love isn’t supposed to be easy, but it is supposed to be fun.
