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A chat with an orgiast

Outrage Magazine chats with Balthazar, a Manila-based orgiast (i.e. one who is into orgies) who believes that “I should always try as many things as possible because life is short.” Others may frown on his preference, but Balthazar believes that being an orgiast taught him to keep an open mind and be more accepting, and to learn to please others not just oneself.

Balthazar* believed “I should always try as many things as possible,” he said. “Life is short.”

And it was this way of thinking that led him to “this theater in Makati City, where – while I was still in high school – I used to watch by myself after our exams.” It was in that cinema where “I remember older men touching me. And it felt good.”

It felt so good for Balthazar, in fact, that “it became a primary reason for me to keep returning to the cinema.”

Balthazar, of course, knew before then that he was into men. He remembers having sex even when he was not even 10 years old yet, with a man who worked in the family-run bakery. “My parents caught us; he was fired. But my Dad and Mom never discussed what happened with me,” he said.

Balthazar believes in the notion that “men – including gay men – are more sexual than women,” he said. “Men like sex. Men, straight or gay, love to have sex. (And if) you have two men given the opportunity to express their sexuality, with no responsibilities attached to this expression, then I’d say sex obsession is probable.”

Now that he finished college, and he’s been actively seeking sex, Balthazar said he prefers orgies, and “the more, the merrier.” He added that “people may say it’s impersonal, but for me, there’s more fun in the concept of sharing, of sharing something intense in a communal manner.”

Balthazar isn’t “very, very strict with this, however.” That is, the “not strict” portion of him being an orgiast involves the “selection process”. That is, “”sometimes I meet someone for the first time, and I ask for a one-on-one sexual encounter. It is a screening process, basically. In a one-on-one, I get to know if there is some sexual chemistry; just a little something that would make sex at least good or not a complete waste of time.”

Balthazar added: “I get a lot of messages from men saying that they want to join or experience for the first time group fun or group sex, and I would simply reply that want to meet them first for a one-on-one sex encounter. As I say to several of these men: Do you introduce a total stranger to your friends?”

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And when the chemistry is there, though, Balthazar said he already has “a listing of who wants to join what ‘trip’ (sexual preferences).”

Being an orgiast taught Balthazar to be “more accepting,” he said. “Somebody will find somebody attractive, even if he isn’t to your liking.” As such, “I keep an open mind. Now, I do not have much of a standard when it comes to my sexual partner, just for him to have a functioning dick.”

It is also as an orgiast that Balthazar said he learned to be “an active sexual partner.” “There are those who think that just lying in bed, doing nothing is good. Orgies ‘require’ you to learn to please the participants, not just yourself. The act is there for everyone involved, not just a select few.”

It is because of this, too, that Balthazar said he prefers “experienced ones, meaning I do not like virgins and this goes to teenagers, as well, who do not even know what they want yet.”

Balthazar said he may want to keep an open mind on drug (and even alcohol) use during orgies he himself organizes, but “so far, I see no need for them,” he said. This is because of his belief that “you can get as much high from orgies as you would when using (drugs or alcohol).”

Alas, he admitted that while “I provide condom and lube, these are not always used. Safer sex is preferred but…. things happen. I remember being shocked once to find bareback sex happening (in an orgy I organized). In these cases, there’s nothing much I can do; but I try my best to have lubricants and condoms accessible. My friends and the other orgy participants already know where to find them.”

Having been an orgiast most of his life, Balthazar said there are lessons he learned. For one, “be flexible to get the most from life,” he said. For example, “be willing to sometimes be a top or be a bottom depending on the partner; this way, you get more options.”

Secondly, “and more importantly, though, “because life is short, enjoy it. And do not make life shorter, practice safer sex,” Balthazar ended.


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