As a parent or foster carer, you play a vital role in nurturing your child’s emotional development. Teaching kids how to manage their emotions from an early age builds their resilience, self-confidence and mental wellbeing.
Use the following tips to help instil emotional strength in children.
Validate Their Feelings
Children often have big emotions that they don’t know how to handle. When your child expresses difficult emotions like anger, sadness or fear, resist the urge to dismiss them. Instead, validate what they are feeling. Say things like, “I understand you feel very angry right now. It’s okay to feel that way sometimes.” This shows them that all feelings are acceptable, even the uncomfortable ones.
For foster children especially, validation is important as they process complex emotions related to their situations. Validate their sadness over missing a parent or anger about being displaced from home. This acceptance helps them healthily express their feelings.
Set Limits on Behaviour
While validating feelings, also set limits on how those emotions can be expressed through destructive behaviour like hitting or yelling. Explain calmly, “It’s alright to be upset, but we don’t hit. Let’s take some deep breaths to calm down.” Establish clear boundaries while still allowing them to feel their emotions.
Teach Coping Skills
Equip children early on with positive coping methods to independently manage difficult emotions. When they’re upset, teach them to take deep breaths, count to 10 or squeeze a stress ball. If they’re angry, encourage them to go for a walk or do jumping jacks to release the energy. Foster children especially need healthy outlets like drawing, writing or listening to music—you can put some of your foster care payments towards encouraging new hobbies. Practicing these skills when they’re young will enable kids to self-soothe throughout life.
Encourage Emotional Expression
Let children know all feelings can be discussed openly in your home. Ask them regularly how they’re feeling and listen without judgement. Don’t tell them to “get over it” or “stop crying.” Let them cry on your shoulder and talk through their sadness or anger. Expressing emotions helps children process them in a healthy way.
Promote a Growth Mindset
Instil the belief that they can cope with challenges. When they fail at something, frame it as an opportunity to learn, rather than something they can’t do. Praise their efforts, not just successes. Teach them positive self-talk like “I can handle this.” This growth mindset allows them to persist through difficult emotions.
Use Children’s Books
Read books together that explore feelings like anger, worry, grief and jealousy. Ask them how the characters handle their emotions and what they could do differently. Seeing characters work through challenges in a healthy way teaches children emotional intelligence. For foster children, read books about foster care that normalise their experiences.
Role Model Emotion Management
Your children are always watching how you cope with stress and setbacks. Model healthy emotional regulation by managing your own feelings well. Use calming strategies, speak kindly to yourself, and apologise to your child if you make a parenting mistake. Your example is their greatest teacher.
Connect Through Play
Unstructured play time is essential for children’s emotional development. Have regular bonding time doing fun activities together. Arts, crafts, pretend play, board games and physical games allow them to express themselves, work through anxieties and build self-confidence. Foster children especially benefit from one-on-one play time.
Look After Yourself
Raising children is rewarding but also draining. Make sure you also care for your own emotional health with regular self-care activities. Whether it’s exercising, socialising with friends or taking alone time, don’t neglect your needs. Refuelling yourself enables you to remain patient and positive with your kids.
Seeking Help
If your child exhibits ongoing difficulties regulating their emotions, reach out to a paediatrician, counsellor or child psychologist. Professional support can aid emotional development. Early intervention is ideal, but help can improve mental health at any age. Destigmatise seeking help so your child knows it’s okay to ask for support.
With patience and compassion, you can instil lifelong emotional strength and resilience in your kids. Use these tips to build their emotional intelligence starting at a young age. What matters most is providing a nurturing environment where they feel safe to express themselves. With your support, they will gain the skills to manage life’s inevitable challenges.
