This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Ashley Altamonte, 37, from Baclaran in Parañaque City identifies as a transgender woman, though, sex role-wise, she’s a top.
“Pagdating sa ano… I’m a top. Pagkakakilala ko talaga sa sarili ko, I’m trans; trans top (When it comes to sex… I’m top. I identify as trans; trans top),” she said with an embarrassed laugh, as if expecting for her
Finding oneself
She was still in Grade 4 in elementary school when she realized she’s trans, though only after her heart was broken. But that was also when she met a person who helped her find her true self.
“Nagkaroon po ako ng jowang babae noon. Nalaman ko na boyish siya, nalaman ko na tomboy siya and meron siyang anong babae din (I had a female partner then. I found out she’s boyish, she’s a lesbian and she had a girlfriend),” Ashley said. “Sumakit po yung puso ko noon (My heart was I pain then).”
Ashley added that she, then, met a gay person who taught her to express her true self.
Hate starts at home
Self-expression wasn’t that easy… at least at first.
The youngest of two kids, Ashley first experienced discrimination at home; her father and her brother both physically abused her for being LGBTQIA+. This was also why they stopped sending her to school.
“Lagi akong binubugbog (I was always abused),” she recalled, adding that “kaya ako di nakatungtong ng college kasi kailangan ko daw muna magpakalalaki (this was why I wasn’t able to study college because they told me I had to be masculine first).”
And yet Ashley now finds ways to earn so she can help finance her family.
“Nagyon po nagtatrabaho din ako para rin sa pamilya ko (I work now to support my family).”
Love for a trans top
Ashley is single now, though she acknowledges that being trans and top adds to the challenge of finding love with a heterosexual man.
“Mahirap makahanap (ng love) ang power top na trans kasi di sanay ang mga straight men na sila ang kikilos (Looking for love as a power top trans is hard because straight men are not used to being fucked),” she said.
Life lessons
For Ashley, young LGBTQIA+ people, particularly transgender women, should value education.
“Pagbutihin nyo pag-aaral nyo. Yan ang susi sa kahirapan ng buhay (Study well. That will be the key to deal with the hardships in life),” she said.
And to those who continue to discriminate LGBTQIA+ people, Ashley hopes they’d eventually open their hearts.
“Sana naman balang-araw maisip nyo rin na matanggap kami sa lipunan ninyo. Bilang isang kapatid, bilang kapamilya, at bilang kaagapay sa bawat hinagpis natin sa buhay (Hopefully one day you’d accept us. As a sibling, as family, as one with you in facing life’s challenges),” Ashley ended.
