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Failed marriage hitting your friend hard? Here’s how you can help

It’s a sad statistic, but roughly one in three marriages end in divorce. Consequently, we all know somebody that will have to go through the heartache and hassle of a breakup at some stage. As a good friend, helping your friend during this difficult time is essential.

It’s a sad statistic, but roughly one in three marriages end in divorce. Consequently, we all know somebody that will have to go through the heartache and hassle of a breakup at some stage. As a good friend, helping your friend during this difficult time is essential.

Divorce hits us all hard, but it can hit some harder than others. It’s particularly important to provide a supportive shoulder to those friends that are struggling. If you haven’t got the firsthand experience of going through the process, you might start to feel a little useless. However, there’s still plenty of things that you can do.

Here are some of the best ways to help your friend through the process and recovery. Make sure that you do. After all, they’d do the same for you if the roles were reversed.

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LET THEM MAINTAIN CONTROL

This point may sound a little counterproductive against everything that’s about to follow. However, you must let your friend stay in the driving seat. There are a lot of things you can do to support them. Ultimately, though, it’s their problem.

Offering advice is fine. But lecturing them isn’t an ideal solution. Your friend is only going to take your suggestions on board if they fit in with their existing views anyway. Essentially, being too active will only lead to frustration. The best thing you can do is listen.

You don’t want to get dragged into a slagging off match about their partner. This is especially true if your respective partners are friends, which is quite possible. Don’t be afraid to offer some support, but realize that they have to make the decisions. Besides, the professionals are better qualified to offer useful tips.

HELP GAIN LEGAL ADVICE

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Money isn’t the most important element at a time like this. However, the financial aspects cannot be ignored either. Perhaps more crucially, dragging the divorce process out for longer than necessary can make it harder for your friend to move on. Therefore, helping them fight the inevitable battle should be top of the agenda.

If you have been through a divorce, then try to use those experiences in a positive manner. In truth, though, your input will only have a limited impact. To give your friend the best hope of reaching an agreeable conclusion, they need a representative that specializes in divorce. This is pivotal from a financial perspective but carries even greater importance if children are involved. Sourcing the best attorney has never been easier with the help of www.Lawyers.com. Not only will the right lawyer actively boost your friend’s case, but it should provide a boost in confidence too.

Many elements contribute to a productive divorce. But getting the legal aspects completed in a positive manner is easily one of the most important tasks. It’s in your friend’s best interests that this remains a priority.

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GET OUTSIDE

Going through a divorce is naturally a very sad time for anyone. Subsequently, the suffering party is likely to encounter stages of feeling self-pity. There’s nothing wrong with being down during such a difficult period. But it’s important to remember that life goes on.

Being locked away for weeks is going to help anyone. Your friend will find it hard to acclimatise to life without their former partner, and their home life can suddenly feel very lonely. The best thing you can do is make yourself available. Whether it’s going to watch your favorite sports team or attending events in the local area doesn’t matter. An active lifestyle will benefit your friend greatly.

Essentially, you want to show your friend that they still have plenty to be grateful for while life is still pretty special. Let’s face it; you’ll probably enjoy those additional activities too.

FIGHT RELATED ISSUES

Unfortunately, shutting themselves away from the world is just the start of those potential problems. It’s quite normal for people to act slightly less responsible during the initial stages after the marital breakup. As a friend, you can play an active role in embracing these ideas in a positive manner. But you must not let them go off the rails.

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We all react differently to life-changing situations. Divorce can leave a person in a very vulnerable position. And this can leave them open to difficulties with alcohol, drugs, and other issues. Worryingly, they often won’t accept that there is a problem. If you’ve spotted signs that a potentially dangerous situation is arising, you need to act fast. Experts at www.ArcProject.org.uk can help fight back against those troubles.

Whether it’s prevention or recovery, it could be key to keeping your friend in a healthier state throughout this testing part of their life. Divorce is hard enough without bringing additional problems into the equation.

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INVEST IN A BETTER BODY

When you end a casual relationship, the period before feeling ready to date again is often quite short. However, the severity of a divorce means that it could take months (or even years) before your friend is ready to get back on the horse. Ultimately, it’s better to take more time than rush back into the dating game. But that doesn’t mean the divorcee can’t benefit from feeling more attractive.

Mentally, building a better body image will work wonders. The physical benefits of feeling fitter and healthier will allow your friend to enjoy other aspects of their life to the fullest. Quite frankly, that can be hugely influential during this period. Furthermore, the new hobby can keep them active while reducing the risk of the above issues.

Divorce can leave your friend feeling low. But focusing energies in a positive manner is a great way to respond while the end rewards can help them regain their health and happiness. From a selfish perspective, assisting your friend will have positive influences on your body too. What more incentive could you need?

BUILD A NEW HOME

Only one (or maybe neither) of the divorcing couple can keep the marital home. As such, there’s a good chance that your friend will suddenly be without a property. A home is one of the most integral assets in anybody’s life. Helping them find long-term accommodation is arguably the greatest support of all.

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In the immediate future, you can offer the guest room or your sofa. On a more permanent basis, you can help them look for permanent accommodation. The divorce also means that they’ll need to start again with certain possessions. Giving them some of your unwanted goods can help them get back on their feet. If items aren’t in the best condition, a little upcycling can work wonders. Visit PopSugar.com for further inspiration. Your friend’s new home will have a unique glow in no time.

A new home will offer new foundations. This can be a key element of trying to draw a line under everything that has gone before. It won’t magically make the pain of a divorce disappear, but it will at least open a new chapter.

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REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES

In those very initial stages, a breakup is likely to encourage feelings of animosity and anger. Long-term, however, it’s important that your friend gains positive closure with the failed marriage. Maintaining those negative feelings will only make it harder for them to trust future partners.

Marriages end every single day, and there’s a whole host of potential reasons. Whether the couple just grew apart, or now hate each other doesn’t matter. The relationship was once filled with love, and your friend should remember that. This doesn’t mean that they have to miss it. Simply that they should appreciate the positive influences that a loving relationship can bring. If kids are involved, holding those feelings of hatred to the other parent is very unhealthy too.

Dwelling on past mistakes can only have negative impacts, and will make it harder to move on. It might not be on the agenda immediately. But, at some point, drawing a positive line under the relationship is key. Otherwise, the fallout of the divorce could plague their progress for years.

CREATE A NEW NORM

Ending a relationship changes a lot, but ending a marriage turns your world upside down completely. While focusing on those essential ideas like finance and a home are the immediate concerns, there are many more features to consider.

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In many ways, it’s like starting a new life. As a good friend, you can be a consistent force to make it less daunting. However, you should encourage them to make positive life upgrades. The responsibilities of marriage may have stopped them from finding a new career path, or taking up a new hobby. This is their chance to follow those dreams. After all, building a happier life is surely the best response.

As a good friend, you should be available to offer support. Ultimately, you can’t be there 24/7. Encouraging them to find happiness within themselves is far more productive than playing an overly active role. Encourage them to stand on their own feet again, and your friend will be back to their best in no time.

Written By

"If someone asked you about me, about what I do for a living, it's to 'weave words'," says Kiki Tan, who has been a writer "for as long as I care to remember." With this, this one writes about... anything and everything.

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