This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
On May 17, 2023, Patruni Chidananda Sastry’s partner, Raji, gave birth to a child (pronoun: they/them); which was deemed poignant because the world was observing IDAHOBIT (International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Interphobia and Transphobia). “I never imagined this day would come, often feeling overwhelmed by the thought of parenthood. But hearing our baby’s heartbeat for the first time, I knew a new part of my soul was blossoming,” Patruni.
Patruni, an openly bisexual person, is a drag artist based in Hyderabad, India. And he embarked on another “journey”, this time from “being a drag queen to becoming a biological dad”.
DRAG EMERGENCE
Patruni first saw a drag performance in Bangalore in India in 2019, when he was still doing performance art. He wanted to bring the drag scene to Hyderabad, but – at first – he did not want to be in it. At that point, a few friends told him: “If you can’t do it yourself, how would someone else do it?”. This changed his way of thinking, and gave birth to his drag persona: S.A.S (Suffocated Art Specimen).
“When I decided to do drag in Hyderabad, I wasn’t getting any performance space,” he recalled. “People thought it to be a vulgar art from.”
Businessperson Bhagi Sravani helped Patruni by allowing him to perform at Nirvana Café, where – from 21 expected guests – over 500 people showed up. “That was when I realized how people saw drag as empowering,” Patruni said.
Patruni’s “style” was established in 2020/2021, when he decided to forego “wanting to be beautiful” by trying out something different, something weirder. “I started learning about tranimal drag, an alternative art from where drag is shown as anti-beauty or disgustingly. Trash is used as a statement for fashion and it always has an element of superficialism. I adopted to this and started performing.”
PROMOTING DRAG
“People initially didn’t understand what I was doing. I have always been compared to some or the other artists (since) the idea of anti-beauty was not something people were trying to seek,” Patruni recalled, adding that he persevered because “my innovative performances aimed to educate and challenge traditional beauty standards.”
In a way it helped that Patruni is accepted by his family.
He first came out to his family as gender fluid, “and we had a wonderful discussion of what and how I feel, and they accepted me.” He came out for the second time as pansexual, and they similarly accepted this. “Coming out to my family and gaining their acceptance provided crucial emotional support. (So) when doing drag, I make sure it is not hidden from them.”
Nowadays, Patruni says his gender identity is “multifaceted and fluid”, and he now identifies as “Gender Maverique”, gender non-conforming, and gender fluid, with a sexuality that is pomosexual, pansexual, and bisexual. “I have faced numerous challenges due to my gender identity, including societal misconceptions, discrimination, and hostility from both the drag community and broader society,” Patruni said.
FORMING A FAMILY
During COVID-19 lockdown, Patruni hosted live shows online for Pride month, when he noticed “an unfamiliar account following my every move and showing up at every live show I put on.”
He met Raji at a family function, where a relative put a little too much kumkum on his forehead, making it fall into my eyes, and she offered him a towel to clear his eyes. “I didn’t realize at the time that my ‘adoring social media fan’ was none other than Raji.”
They eventually started dating, and “I was still skeptical about revealing my sexuality,” Patruni recalled. “I dropped her a text one day: I am pansexual. The next day, I got back two weblinks about pansexuality and a question: ‘Is this what you meant?’ I needed to know whether she understood me, so I called her. ‘It doesn’t matter what your sexuality or gender is. I may not fully understand these words and feelings, but it only matters whether you love me and wish to be with me,’ she said to me.”
Patruni and Raji got married on August 18, 2021.
“When I opened about my relationship, people questioned my queerness. They put me in a box of their assumptions, a place I didn’t want to be in,” Patruni said. “I made it through all the judgment because of Raji, holding my hand firmly throughout. That support made it clear that I was marrying her for myself, and she would help me live my most authentic self.”
‘WE ARE PREGNANT’
Initially, Patruni said he did not necessarily want to have a child. “As an out and proud queer, I was still skeptical to get a part of me to face this brutal world where being queer has been difficult and someone being parented by a queer person would have to go through the same pain/harassment unless the world is becoming better.”
But Raji got pregnant. “For the initial days and times, I was still merely thinking about how we as a couple could navigate the process. I did not know where and how to start,” Patruni said.
A big issue for him was, of course, him doing drag. “This was the same time when the world started seeing drag as an unsafe art form for kids. With right-wing politics calling for a complete ban on drag queen story hour, and calling drag artists as groomers… to bring up my child with the idea that their drag artist parent (is wrong) felt very scary.”
In the end, though, even if it took him “time to own up and welcome my newborn with open arms and not give up drag”, Patruni realized that “being a drag queen and a parent at this point is a testament to owning up and stating that drag is an art form, and as a parent and a drag artist one (could) express and teach love, empathy and community building.”
TEACHING LOVE
Patruni knows he, eventually, has to explain everything to their child. And yet “I don’t have a stringent plan; I neither would keep it hidden since I do drag as a regular profession, not would I keep it too open. I hope for my child to self-learn.”
But he knows that he wants to teach love and acceptance.
“To LGBTQIA+ individuals, including my fellow drag queens, who aspire to form their own families, I want to say that your love, identity, and dreams are valid and powerful. Do not let societal norms or prejudices dictate the course of your life,” Patruni said. “Embrace your authentic self, and surround yourself with people who support and understand you. Building a family is a personal journey, filled with challenges and joys, but it is entirely possible and beautiful in its unique way.”
And for those “who harbor hate or misunderstandings about the LGBTQIA+ community and drag culture, I urge you to open your minds and hearts. Fear and prejudice stem from ignorance, and it is through education and empathy that we can bridge these gaps.”
