This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Even as a kid, Zoneo Lakambini, 47, knew he’s gay. But at least initially, he said he didn’t come out because he was afraid to be taunted for being LGBTQIA+.
“Nalaman ko na ako’y gay elementary pa lang ako (I knew I’m gay in elementary school),” Zoneo said. “Pero hindi ko pinahalata sa mga kaklase ko na gay ako kasi ayaw kong maging dahilan yung sa pagkasira ng aking pag-aaral (I didn’t make it apparent to my classmates that I’m gay because I didn’t want for this to be the reason for me to stop going to school).”
Caring for those who hurt you
Zoneo has three siblings; he is the third child. In actuality, Zoneo said his family did not accept him when he came out as gay. In fact, he had to persuade them of his worth to be accepted. And he is now the family’s breadwinner.
At the time of coming out, “sabi ko, kung hindi nyo man po ako ma-accept na ganito ako, ipapakita ko sa inyo na hindi siya hadlang para makatulong ako sa pamilya, para maalagaan kayo, masuportahan kayo (I told them, if you can’t accept me as gay, I will show to you that this isn’t a hindrance for me to help my family, to care for you, to support you).”
Zoneo doesn’t earn a lot as a showbiz talent, as he just waits for calls for jobs.
Zoneo only finished high school, and this had to do with his being gay. Particularly, his parents did not want him to pursue a degree they considered as only for LGBTQIA+ people, so they made him stop schooling.
“I was in college then, ayaw po (pumayag) ng mother ko sa course na gusto ko kasi nga pambakla nga (my mother didn’t agree with the course I was interested in because it was deemed as for the gays),” Zoneo said.
Love is hard
Nagka-jowa na si Zoneo in the past, and – while this didn’t work out – he remained friendly with the guy. But finding love isn’t a priority. Though this is mainly because he thinks men only use gay people to make money, not for love.
“Ayaw ko po mag-jowa (I don’t want to find a lover),” Zoneo said. “Bilang isang bakla mahirap po talaga makahanap ng jowa na straight na lalaki. Dahil siyempre, pagunahing titingnan ng mga lalaki sa gay ay kailangan may pera, meron kang mabibigay, or meron silang mahuhothot, meron silang makukuha (It’s hard for a gay person to have a relationship with a straight man. The first thing they check with gay guys is if they have money, that you can give them something, that they can leech something off you, that they get something from you).”
Words to live by
Obviously shaped by his experiences, Zoneo wants younger LGBTQIA+ people to not shame their families, while making sure they responsibly support family members.
“Kahit gay kayo, huwag kayong maging sakit ng ulo ng mga magulang nyo (Even if you’re gay, don’t cause troubles to your parents),” Zoneo said. “Kahit gay kayo, ipakita nyo na hindi ito hadlang para humarap sa hamon ng buhay, at maging responsable sa pamilya (Even if you’re gay, show them that this won’t stop you from facing challenges in life, and from being responsible to them).”
In the end, Zoneo wants others to just respect LGBTQIA+ people, particularly since nagbibigay ng saya ang mga bakla sa madlang people.
“Hindi nyo man kami tanggap, irespeto nyo na lang kami bilang tao kasi tao rin po kami (You may not be able to accept us, but at least respect us as human beings because we’re also humans),” Zoneo said. Besides, he added, “nakakapagbigay po kami ng aliw at saya sa inyong madling people (LGBTQIA+ people also give you joy and happiness).”
