Earlier research showed that only the most heterosexual men are primarily jealous of sexual infidelity. Homosexual and bisexual men are more jealous of emotional infidelity, in the same way that women are. And so, for a while, it was taken that men are more often most jealous of sexual infidelity, while women are more jealous of emotional infidelity – and that was pretty much that.
But a new study – “Male Sex, Masculinization, Sexual Orientation, and Gynephilia Synergistically Predict Increased Sexual Jealousy” by Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, Mons Bendixen and David P Schmitt, that appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior journal – claims that it is not that simple after all; sexual orientation can also affect jealousy.
For this study, the researchers tapped nearly 4,500 participants aged 16 to 80, recruited partly through Facebook and partly through the Gaysir website and other forums for queer individuals.
Some of the key findings included:
- Most heterosexual men are most jealous of sexual infidelity, but this is not true for bisexual or homosexual men who are most jealous of the feelings their partner might have for someone else. Here, when it comes to jealousy, bisexual or homosexual men bear a closer resemblance to women.
- Lesbian and bisexual women are most jealous of emotional infidelity, in the same way that heterosexual women are.
Perhaps there is more logic to this than might at first meet the eye, claimed the researchers, since there is a strong biological explanation behind jealousy. Particularly: Jealousy is an emotional response to a threat against a valued relationship.
Infidelity is an example of this type of threat, either in the form of a partner falling in love with or having sex with someone else. The way jealousy works is that you react emotionally to signs of infidelity in your partner.
This can in turn trigger a series of actions to protect the relationship. Examples include everything from confrontations, monitoring and restricting the partner’s social contact with other people, to ingratiation, flattery and increased sexual activity.
In homosexual relationships, regardless of gender, mutually hidden sexual infidelity is less relevant. The partner is unlikely to have a secret child with someone else (i.e. a child you believe is yours and therefore invest time and resources in). Thus, the fear of a partner leaving becomes much more important for homosexual individuals – the jealousy is more centered around the emotions involved.
Note that it is constantly assumed that jealousy actually serves a purpose, e.g. jealousy is meant to help keep one’s partner – or one’s partner’s resources – for oneself. In doing so, one maximizes the chances of passing on the genes to the next generation.
But, according to the researchers, one great mystery still remains: bisexual men who are partners with women.
“Bisexual men with female partners are different from heterosexual men with female partners. These bisexual men are also more jealous of emotional infidelity and less jealous of sexual infidelity,” said Bendixen.
This, however, does not fit the pattern. Bisexual men with female partners face the same risk as heterosexual men of investing resources in another man’s child if their partner is unfaithful. Therefore, the picture remains unclear.
“We still don’t know why this is. One possibility is that the jealousy response is easily feminized. As a result, only the most masculine men display typical masculine sexual jealousy,” said Kennair.
This may also help explain why bisexual men are far less common than bisexual women. In the US, up to 6% of women identify as bisexual, compared with only up to 2% of men. If bisexual men are more often tricked into raising another man’s child, their genes are not passed on to the next generation to the same extent.
But for the researchers, this is just a theory, and not something they know or have studied – and is an area that definitely requires more research.
