This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Six days after the birth of Karen’s child, people from the newborn screening department of the hospital where she was at visited her to tell her that “kailangan nyo pong i-confine yung baby kasi sa condition po ni baby is hanggang seven days lang po ang baby nyo (you need to confine your baby because she has a condition that will cause her demise in seven days).”
Flabbergasted, she asked why, and she was told her baby has CAH, so she had salt wasting (thus low in sodium and high in potassium). But she was also angry that she was only told after six days, when they knew the baby may not remain alive after seven days.
Karen remembered not registering the baby yet since the doctor and the nurse wo helped in the delivery of the baby were “surprised because they saw the child had male and female genitalia.” And yet she also remembered being forced to choose “between male or female” (they even went to their house). They only agreed to allow late registration when Karen said she’d have the child get more tests. But prior to karyotyping (this only happened in 2022), the child was registered as female. Karyotyping, nonetheless, showed she’s female.
Ongoing challenge
In the six years that Karen raised her intersex child, she noted various intersex-related concerns that parents/guardians have to face.
For example, medical care is still lacking in non-metropolitan areas. As an example, in Laguna where they live, endocrinologists are not readily available, so they have to go to a nearby town to access experts. And then these experts order laboratory tests (e.g. karyotyping, ultrasounds, X-ray of the bones) that are only offered in more cosmopolitan areas, like Metro Manila.
Also, “mahirap yung sa gamot (accessing medicines is hard).” She spends around ₱15,000 every three months when buying medicines from Apotheca in Makati City; and since she’s a single mother, “things aren’t easy.”
Similarly, various agencies continue to be unaware of intersex variations, so that they – basically – do not recognize the need to provide support to intersex people. Karen was critical, for example, of the local social welfare department that was supposed to provide her the certification required by the Department of Health (DOH) and the Mayor’s Office. “I had to teach them before they helped.”
Staying positive
But there have been positive occurrences.
For example, parents of children with CAH actually started an organizationso that they can help each other deal with probably similar concerns. So now, “meron akong mga (I have) friends and we help each other in procuring medicines” from Hong Kong, where “we only spend ₱6,000 per three months.”
Their doctor also established a “continuity clinic” closer to them, and “sila yung mag-a-arrange sa laboratory at sila yung mag-i-schedule na (they arrange the laboratory tests, and they set the schedules).”
And there are some agencies that actually help – e.g. the Newborn Screening Center in her locality was the one to tell her about ways to get support, documents to prepare for this, and so on.
A doctor already told Karen to prepare her child for surgery “para ma-correct na natin yang baby mo to female (correct your baby into female).” The subtle pressure scares her, not knowing how to respond to the doctor.
“I need to know if kailangan ko ba talagang ipa-opera yung anak ko, or hintayin ko na lang yung siya talaga mag-choose kung anong gusto niya (I need to have the operation done on my child, or should I just wait for her to choose what she wants)?” Plus, “may nalaman ako doon sa parents na nagpa-opera na ang mahal, aabot ng ₱300,000. Saan ako kukuha niyan (I heard from parents who had their child operated that they spent almost ₱300,000. Where do I get that)?”
For Karen: “As a parent, nahirapan ang sarili mo. Ano ba talaga ang dapat mong gawin para sa anak mo (you struggle. What do you really do for your child)?”
Creating family
Karen is glad to have seen other intersex people, and “okay naman sila, normal naman buhay nila (they’re okay, they live normal lives).” And this gives her hope.
To parents of intersex children, “maging strong lang sila. Mag-pray. Huwag silang mahiyang makipag-usap sa mga katulad na meron kami. Yung ibang parents nahihiya eh. Dati nahihiya din ako. Kaya lang di kaya na solohin ko ito. Meron naman sa community na parehas sa case ko. So huwag sila mahiya mag-reach out sa community na gaya sa amin (be strong. Pray. Don’t be ashamed to talk to others with intersex children. Some parents are embarrassed. Even I used to be ashamed. But I couldn’t handle this on my own. There are others in the community like me. So they shouldn’t be ashamed reaching out to communities like ours).” – WITH MICHAEL DAVID dela Cruz TAN
THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE APPEARED IN “I EXISTS”, A COFFEE TABLE BOOK PRODUCED IN 2023 BY INTERSEX PHILIPPINES, INC. (IXPI) TO HIGHLIGHT THAT THE ‘I’ IN THE LGBTQIA ACRONYM EXISTS, AND THAT MANY OF THEIR ISSUES CONTINUE TO BE NEGLECTED EVEN BY THE LGBTQIA COMMUNITY.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ON IXPI, OR OF “I EXISTS”, CONTACT IXPI, THE PIONEERING ORGANIZATION FOR INTERSEX PEOPLE IN THE PHILIPPINES.
