One Saturday, Tar’s mom called me to ask if he already arrived at my place; supposedly, he told his mom he’s heading to my place, and that he’d stay with me until Tuesday of the following week, so he’d head back home only on Wednesday. Alas, I told her, he’s not with me; and – to be blunt, though still not telling her the whole truth – that “he may be elsewhere.”
“So he lied,” she stated, flatly; and yes, stating the obvious.
Based on the timeline, I – of course – knew where Tar was headed, and stayed at: with his drug-addicted partee-mates, his in-group of gay and bisexual-identifying men who “met” from Telegram, Viber, Messenger, Grindr and Romeo and who gather to have sex while under the influence of drugs (usually, and more commonly, using meth or shabu).
Slamming sessions usually last from 24 hours to three days. And sadly, I have observed that the longer the sessions go, the higher the number of abuses that tend to happen, e.g.:
- slam-mates actually inject others without their consent so they can continue using and abusing bodies for sex (for example, if a top wants to leave already, a “mate” will just inject him with more drugs so that he can continue to fuck, often with the addition of more newly-invited bottoms);
- video-taking happens without consent (this is one of Tar’s fears, actually, that a video of his could be leaked);
- pimping of on-a-high partee-goers, particularly to lure more partee-mates to join;
- and so on.
Tar’s mom was worried about him not being able to go to work that Saturday night, even if he “promised” he’d go to work. I couldn’t tell her that Tar had been lying at work, too, coming up with excuses for his absences.
I couldn’t tell her, too, that as much as I know about Tar’s partee-ing, he lies even to me. About his partee-mates (and usually to “protect” them, the people who use and abuse him). About his use or non-use of pre-exposure prophylaxis. About the stories he tells others (e.g. his mom). And so on.
For as long as he’s partee-ing, the lying won’t stop. I know that. But knowing does not mean I’m okay with it. Because so many people are getting lied to; including those whose only intention is for Tar to be always okay.
And that’s one of the sad parts with dealing with a partee-goer: when your concern, your love is basically rebuffed by dishonesties that could be harmful. Instead, the drug-addicted “friends” are given the truths even if they actually do not care what happens to their partee-mates during and particularly after drug sessions.
