By Jaya Leonardo Jaud
Vice President, Mujer-LGBT Organization
Project Officer for Transgender Women, Sustained Health Initiatives of the Philippines – SHIP
Project Officer for Transgender Women, Pilipinas Shell Foundation, Inc.
I’m only speaking for myself here, but you know what I value more and more as I get older?
Honesty.
I’d much rather you say, “Hey, that hurt my feelings. Can we talk about it?” than dump me as a friend and leave me wondering what I did wrong and without a way to fix things.
I’d much rather you say, “I’m overwhelmed right now. I’ll get back to you when I’m able” than totally ghost me.
I’d much rather you say, “Listen. I love you so much, but I’m worried about you” than let me wander off into the deep end because the conversation might be uncomfortable.
I’d much rather you tell me what you want out of our friendship than to expect me to read your mind.
I’d much rather hear your actual opinions, your real feelings, your true thoughts than some shallow response.
I’d much rather you say, “It’s not you. I’m just in a bad mood today” than to lash out at me out of nowhere.
I’d much rather you say, “This is tough, but I’m in a dark place. Can you pray for me?” than to think everything is fine with you and never know the true state of your heart.
I’d much rather you say, “I want to go. I’m so grateful for your invitation. I hope you’ll invite me again, but I can’t this time” than think you rejected me and wonder if you didn’t come because you don’t like spending time with me.
You don’t have to pretend with me.
You don’t have to tip-toe.
You don’t have to play games, work to be more palatable or squeeze yourself into a box.
Because seriously, I value your honesty.
I’m here for it.
Tell me the hard things because losing you in my life would be infinitely harder.
