By Rev. Joseph San Jose
Pastor, Open Table-MCC, an LGBTQIA+ affirming church
Initially identifying as a transgender woman, social media personality Maria Sofia Love recently stated via a Facebook Live that she is no longer trans, even denouncing her sexuality by saying she finds being gay as degrading because it is an affront to god who created people in his/her/their image and likeness.
This is the response of Rev. Joseph San Jose, pastor at Open Table-Metropolitan Community Church.
Nagtatanong: Pastor, anong reaction or perspective mo dun sa video ni Maria Sofia na nag-detransition and saying na natagpuan nya ang pagbabago at true joy kay Lord?
Me: Knee jerk reaction ko… I felt sad and pained for him. Him kasi nga nag-detransition na and he identifies na ulit himself as a man.
I felt pained and sad because, I sense and felt, that there is so much pain under and behind everything he said. But this is my interpretation and assumption and I might be wrong. Baka nga joyful naman talaga sya.
Kung hindi madali ang mag-transition mas lalong hindi madali ang mag-detransition for our trans-siblings. I cannot imagine the emotional turmoil and dissonance it takes to detransition especially when it is motivated by faith perspectives na anti-trans. Despite her saying na masaya sya… and again this is my interpretation… I sense deep pain behind his words.
Nagtatanong: Yun nga pastor. Feel na feel yung video niya. She speaks from her heart.
Me: He na nga. Hindi na she.
Nagtatanong: Ay oo nga pala. Sorry naman.
Me: I haven’t really put a lot of thought about her video yet kasi ayokong magchika at mag-labas ng statement because I’m not trans and gusto ko muna mabasa ang reactions and statements of trans women. I’ve asked one of our trans women attendees anong reaction nya and from there, I may release a statement or maybe her statement will be sufficient.
Pero knee jerk reaction ko and knowing a little bit about religious conversion therapies and programs as well as stories of so called ex-gay and ex-ex-gay, there are LGBTQIA+ people who really have it hard and struggle a lot. And then within the larger LGBTQIA+ community and in smaller groups, organizations, workplace, and group of friends meron din talagang hindi magagandang bagay among us.
Among gay and trans women – meron mga “mean gurls”. Mga acclang matataray. May kultura ng katarayan sa atin. Meron ding unspoken and spoken standards of a “proper” gay or trans. May standard or stereotyping of how trans women should be. Dapat passing. May certain standard of beauty to be considered as a “respectable ” trans person within the community.
Because we are sexually suppressed and oppressed, hindi maiwasang may certain level of hyper-sexuality kaya sabi ni Sofia, “puro harvatan”. Yung hooking up culture.
Meron ding internalized misogyny sa mga bakla. Then we are also part of the an unforgiving cancel culture na madalas hindi naman critical thinkers even among the wokes and progressive queers. Natuto lang ng konting SOGIESC or konting bagay sa advocacy, kung maka-cancel and kuda na sa ibang LGBTQIA+ wagas.
Joke nga sa “Free To Be Me”, bakit ang mga bakla pag nag-away kahit simple lang – warla level 10 kaagad ang energy. Wala man lang level 2 or level 3 muna. We also use our oppression to be unforgiving and ungracious of others especially our own.
So with all of these and many more “imperfections” within our queer community (sino bang community ang perfect lalo na ang mga megachurches?), some LGBTQIA+ individuals come to the conclusion, “Ah, totoo ngang makasalanan ang ‘gay lifestyle’. Totoo ngang walang tunay at lasting na kaligayahan sa LGBTQIA+ community. They are then pushed towards megachurches that are more than willing to embrace them, welcome them, and give them platforms of validation IF they would reject and renounce their sexuality and gender identity, and accept the megachurch’s teaching that their sexuality and gender identity are wrong and can be changed or the very least suppressed.
Our queer siblings find themselves in a faith-community that shows them some level of kindness, compassion, and applause but at the expense of denying, suppressing, or rejecting a significant part of their humanity. And without realizing it, that such beliefs and practices are insidious forms of psycho-spiritual harm.
Nagtatanong: Hindi ko naisip yun pastor. Yung palang mga chakang ganap sa LGBTQIA+ community can cause some of our queer people to believe na mali talaga ang sexuality nila and then try to change by joining megachurches.
Me: Yes. If you listen to them carefully, it is a common context and perspective. Magkakaiba man ang karanasan, they will articulate how they were hurt by other LGBTs or how the “LGBTQIA Lifestyle” have led them into terrible experiences.
Or in the case of Sofia, how nothing really genuinely made her happy, content, and complete.
Nagtatanong: Anong gagawin natin pastor? Nakaksad naman.
Me: Nakakasad talaga. Nasabi ko rin ito sa MCC chat and this might be a controversial take on this: There is partial truth sa mga sinabi ni Sofia sa video nya.
When any person, hindi lang LGBT, try to seek happiness and fulfillment in objects, success, material wealth, jowa, sex, even barkada or even gender transitioning… when you use things, people, and experiences as distractions or as fillers for emptiness or loneliness, you will never ever be fully content or happy. It is like trying to fill up a hole in the sand with ocean water.
This is a story as old as time and all spiritual traditions have spoken about this. This neediness. This trying to grasp on things to complete us or satisfy us. They will never ever bring the fullness of life. Even religion will not fill such emptiness if we also use any religion or any spiritual practice, or any other version of Christianity as a filler or as a distraction.
Even Jesus. If you are using Jesus to fill an emptiness within but not really recognize the Jesus that is already within you and as you, then even your way of using and abusing Jesus will not make you genuinely fulfilled or even right with God. Kaya tignan mo, meron ding mga Christian na hindi masaya. Merong mga pastor na abusive at harmful.
Regardless of our sexuality or gender identity or whoever else we are; regardless of our religion or struggles, genuine happiness and contentment is knowing and accepting that you are loved and worthy of love just as you are, and whatever you do must come from a place of love and self-assurance and not to fill-in any need or emptiness.
Kung bakla ka or lesbian, yung mga “baklaan mo” ay ginagawa mo kasi mahal mo ang sarili mo hindi dahil naghahanap ka ng pagmamahal or validation sa iba at ibang bagay. Yung pagjojowa mo ay hindi dahil malungkot ka lang at feeling mo ang pagkakaroon ng jowa ang magpapasaya sa iyo. Na basta’t magkajowa ka magiging okay ka na. Basta’t may jowa ka na you will live your happily ever after. Jusko, anong happily ever after? Ang dami kayang struggles ng mga couples and the struggles are even more amplified when people get into a relationship with the wrong notion that the other person will make them happy.
Isa kang taong may sariling kaligayahan at sense of self and to have a partner is to share and compliment one’s life with another and not use the other to fill the void within you.
Yung pag-tratransition as a trans person is a long process of accepting, loving, embracing, and affirming the truth of who you are as a human being and as a trans person, and not because you will finally be validated or accepted by other queer and trans siblings. Hindi ka magtratransition dahil lang fashionable or dahil nakikita mong masaya yung ibang trans persons na nagtransition. Ikaw mismo sa sarili mo as a tran speron you undergo a long process of self-realization and actualization of who you are as trans and what kind of trans you are. Kasi hindi rin lahat ng trans ay nagtratransition. There are some trans persons who are perfectly happy and content kahti hindi magtransition at kahit hindi mag gender-reassignment surgery. Their transness is as valid as any other.
Kaya mahalaga talaga ang trans-affirmative counseling and also a trans-affirmative and trans-supportive community. Isa sa mga sinabi ni Sofia ay yung kawalan ng guidance and how he regrets transitioning. To some extent may katotohanan yun na important ang guidance, compassion, and caring environments that help with our trans siblings sa kanilang journey of self realization and eventually, if needed and decided, transitioning. Important na within the trans community and within queer communities talagang may fostering of care and guidance sa isa’t isa lalo na sa mga young people who feel and think that they are trans or might be trans.
Nagtatanong: Ang nakaka-sad lang din pastor, parang convincing ang chika ni ate mo at may mga mahihikayat pa sya to go to megachurches para magpa-conversion.
Me: Kaya sabi ko rin sa MCC chat na mahalaga ang gampanin at pagpapatuloy ng Open Table-MCC. Pinaalala ko rin sa mga Open Table peeps how it is important for us, by the grace of God, to genuinely improve our community as a safe space for everyone – na hindi tayo “mean gurls” within Open Table. That we, as individual queer Christians, should be better with our sense and practice of grace with one another and thereby becoming a better affirming church community.
Mahalaga that we improve our ways of community organizing so that we can also improve with how we evangelize and proclaim to reach out to more of our queer siblings lalo na the young people. So that they are not led to the old and distorted idea that you cannot be both LGBTQIA+ and Christian at the same time, and that to find a joyful, and fulfilling life with Jesus you have to give up your God-given sexuality and gender identity when MCC since 1968 has been proclaiming that we can integrate our SOGIESC and Christian faith, or rather reclaim the truth that they were never separate or in opposition in the first place; that we can and we are living examples of joyful, fabulous, and fulfilled queer Christians who continue to face the challenges and troubles of this world.
It is for people like Sofia that we are called and we continue to exist and persist. While there is no possible way that we can reach all our queer siblings and save them from anti-LGBTQIA+ churches, we do our part and our calling for our queer people. And after all, it is God’s work. Not exclusive ours. It is God who does the saving and transforming, and sometimes God does so in and through Open Table-MCC.
This past weekend (end of May), merong Inclusive Church Conference sa Bangkok.
Aside from MCC, there are other LGBTQIA+ affirming churches across East and South East Asia doing the same God-called-work. All these LGBTQIA+ affirming church across Asia na mga maayos at genuine ang ministry (take note, genuine at hindi scammers. hahaha), they are a light and a beacon of hope for queer people wherever they are – in Taiwan, Hongkong, mainland China, Singapore, Malaysia, South Korea, and Open Table sa Pilipinas.
Nagtatanong: Merong bang hindi genuine ang ministry? Sino kaya? Charing! LOL! Daming chika ni pastor. LOL
Me: Pastor nga kasi, makuda. Ipopost ko itong chika na ito with some edits para hindi ka makilala.
Nagtatanong: Hahaha. Sige lang pastor. Salamat sa chika.
