This is part of a series of articles attempting to describe, enter, portray, and hopefully understand the psyche of someone waiting for answers, and outcomes of the unknown. Some days will be long, some days will be shorter than usual, some days will be too devastating… all reflected in the articles.
“‘I am missing your playfulness’ was the first thing I read when I woke up on the second day,” Pierce shared. To which he replied with “I am missing it, too.”
He smiled after he sent his reply. That was his first smile in almost two days.
The continuous thoughts, feelings, and fears were still in his mind – all slowing sinking deeper.
Pierce was starting to be triggered by things that remind him of everything.
Every time he scrolled through the messages and photos in his phone, listened to Spotify, walked pass familiar places, his tears would fall. And it was only the second day.
Like how he expected it, time was very, very slow. Things were moving at a glacial pace. No matter how hard he tried to keep himself preoccupied, blank thoughts and empty moments would take over.
“I wanted to drink a glass or two of Moscato to cap the night off, but a part of me stopped it and just let the emotions and feelings come in and dwell,” Pierce narrated.
What is really happening? What will happen tomorrow? What will he feel and think in the coming days?
It was a punch to the gut. It was emotional torture. It was mentally draining. It. Was. Difficult.
