Connect with us

People You Should Know

Rev. Myke Sotero: Reclaiming Equal Rights

The drive for Rev. Myke Sotero has always been to “focus my energy in LGBT advocacies and human rights campaigns. I have always wanted a Christian denomination that welcomes people regardless of what their sexual preferences are.”

Published

on

Rev. Michael Angelo A. Sotero
Metropolitan Community Church-Metro Baguio

The LGBT community, says Myke Sotero, still has a lot to do. There’s the “division and politics of the LGBT community, (which) I frown upon. It is like a slap on our own faces,” he says. Still, “I am inspired by the uniqueness and free-spirited people in it. We’re not afraid to speak our minds out and we have a way of saying it with a touch of class and sophistication.”

Michael Angelo A. Sotero – better known as just Myke – knew of the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) “way back in 1997, after meeting Fr. Richard Mickley, OSAe, Ph.D. in (the Pride parade) in the city of Manila,” he recalls.  The connection strengthened in 2003, when Myke and his late partner “entered our relationship in a Holy Union that became Baguio City’s first well-publicized gay Holy Union, officiated by Fr. Mickley, then already the head of the Order of St. Aelred.”  It was then that “I informed him that I wanted to enter the ministry, and build a gay-friendly denomination in the (Baguio City).”

The drive, for Myke, was to “focus my energy in LGBT advocacies and human rights campaigns. I have always wanted a Christian denomination that welcomes people regardless of what their sexual preferences are. Growing up as a Roman Catholic, I felt losing a part of me whenever I come to church. I was part of a local church choir and had been active in church activities, but I needed to lie about my homosexuality knowing that mainline church doctrines frown upon people who are different,” he says. “The feeling of not being worthy of God made me question the validity of my faith and what I was taught to believe. I have stopped coming to church and even questioned the existence of the Divine.”

Even while Fr. Mickley helped guide Myke’s earlier learning, in 2005, he met Rev. Ceejay Agbayani, with whom he discussed starting a Bible study group for LGBTs in Baguio City, in the hopes that this would be the starting seed for the MCC in the region – a plan that took shape in 2008, and, by January 30, 2009, progressed to the establishment of the MCC-Metro Baguio (MCCMB).

“I was hesitant to come out upon entering the seminary. I kept the nature of my ministry to myself and tried to test the waters (to check) how my co-seminarians would react when they learn that I’m with a gay church. Although I’m aware that the United Church of Christ in the Philippines (UCCP), which manages the seminary I was in, possesses many progressive minds, half of it is still conservative. A gay seminarian may send the institution panicking, (and I may) get kicked out from their halls,” Myke Sotero recalls.

Myke, who finished his Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication degree from the Baguio Colleges Foundation in 1998, has had numerous career shifts – e.g. E-representative at Peoplesupport Baguio (2007 to 2008), correspondent cum videographer for the Tan-aw Multimedia Collective (2002 to 2007), medical representative of Metro Pharma Philippines Inc. (1999 to 2001), external relations officer and peer educator of ReachOut AIDS Education Foundation (1996 to 1998), and news writer for the Baguio Midland Courier (1997). But it was around this time (early 2009), too, that Myke realized this was his calling, so he entered the Ecumenical Theological Seminary (ETS) in Baguio City to pursue a Masters of Divinity studies in June 2009, and was, thus, and was installed the MCCMB’s Interim Pastoral Leader.

“I was hesitant to come out upon entering the seminary. I kept the nature of my ministry to myself and tried to test the waters (to check) how my co-seminarians would react when they learn that I’m with a gay church. Although I’m aware that the United Church of Christ in the Philippines (UCCP), which manages the seminary I was in, possesses many progressive minds, half of it is still conservative. A gay seminarian may send the institution panicking, (and I may) get kicked out from their halls,” Myke recalls.

However, one time, one subject in class led to a discussion about homosexuality, and Myke said he “felt the urge to speak out.”

“I was coming out finally and to my surprise, they all welcomed me as an equal,” Myke says.

Now as the pastor, “keeping the flock together is a challenge faced by any pastor. Being an open house church, people just come and go. Many have other priorities in their career (though I’m okay with that),” he identifies as a challenge for MCCMB, adding that there is also the problem of finding financial sources, so that “my partner and I rely on our personal money for the needs of the church during our regular worship services.  I have opened my home for this purpose but members find it inaccessible and impractical to attend MCCMB services due to the distance of my home from the city’s Central Business District.”

Slowly, but surely, the church has been growing, though.

“Being a relatively young congregation, the biggest achievement that I could think of is the successful conclusion of the Baguio Pride Week, where MCCMB took an active part in organizing and sponsoring an ecumenical Pride mass before the parade,” says Myke, recalling that the gathering “was also the day I was installed officially as MCCMB’s interim pastor.”

Myke is now also an active member of the Baguio Pride Network (BPN), which the MCCMB is part of. The BPN is the broadest LGBT network in the city which spearheads the annual LGBT Pride activity in Baguio City.
“I’ve have become more spiritual now that I’m a pastor than before I joined the MCC. It helped me in my understanding of the Scriptures and critical of all the things I learned from my Catholic faith. The experience had been liberating for me. I’m free of the blind dogmas and beliefs now that I learned of God’s unconditional and universal love for all His children,” Myke says.
The LGBT community, says Myke, still has a lot to do. There’s the “division and politics of the LGBT community, (which) I frown upon. It is like a slap on our own faces,” he says. Still, “I am inspired by the uniqueness and free-spirited people in it. We’re not afraid to speak our minds out and we have a way of saying it with a touch of class and sophistication.”

Among the key issues he believes the LGBT community has to focus on are: equal rights, HIV-AIDS, and hate crimes. “The LGBTQIA community needs to claim its rights denied to us for so long. We are not asking for special privileges but just affirming the same rights accorded to the straight community, e.g. marriage rights; we should also focus on the campaign for HIV and AIDS awareness as gay men are vulnerable to the disease, and an increasing number of gay men are contracting the virus due to unsafe sexual practices; and with hate crimes (increasing), we should do all we can to help in the campaign to put an end to hate, fueled by wrong Christian doctrines and homophobia.”

Myke adds: “The MCC ministry is in itself an advocacy to unite the community of LGBT religious to fight for their rights as members of society. It reassures the community that God’s love for them is universal and unconditional, dispelling the common belief that being gay is sinful. The MCC offers a sanctuary for the LGBTs if they feel alienated by their church’s intolerance of people who are different. We preach the theology of love, inclusion and ecumenism and everyone is welcome to build a lasting relationship with God without changing their sexual preference. And with love, we could overcome hate, homophobia and bigotry in our society.”

NEWSMAKERS

Demi Lovato expresses support for trans community: ‘Trans rights are human rights’

“I’m Hispanic, but I’m white-passing, so I’m like… what is my responsibility as an ally? I learned that I have to put my fears aside and speak up for all of the people of color that I love, that I don’t know, and the people that are being treated poorly and abused and killed.”

Published

on

Screencap from the Instagram account of Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato – the 27-year-old “Sorry Not Sorry” singer – expressed her support to the trans community, writing on Instagram that “Trans rights are human rights!”.

This actually came after she participated in the book launch of a friend of hers, @alokvmenon, who launched a new book called #BeyondTheGenderBinary. Lovato participated in her friend’s Instagram chat, where she talked about being an ally to both people of color and the trans community.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAjaYiDhOn5/

“I’m Hispanic, but I’m white-passing, so I’m like… what is my responsibility as an ally? I learned that I have to put my fears aside and speak up for all of the people of color that I love, that I don’t know, and the people that are being treated poorly and abused and killed,” she said during the chat.

Lovato added: “I need to put my fears aside… I just didn’t want anyone to question my intentions… I’m gonna be an ally, and I think people need to do the same with the trans community. I really consider myself an ally.”

Continue Reading

NEWSMAKERS

SATC star Cynthia Nixon says she never had any doubt she’d embrace having a trans child

Cynthia Nixon admitted that she doesn’t know how parents must feel if their children come out at a much younger age. But she said that she never had any doubt she’d embrace having a transgender child.

Published

on

Screencap from the Instagram account of Cynthia Nixon

Cynthia Nixon – former “Sex and the City” star – opened up about being the mother to a trans son, Samuel, 23, who she revealed was transgender in June 2018. Appearing on the “Homo Sapiens” podcast, she told hosts Alan Cumming and Chris Sweeney that her child “didn’t come out to me as trans until he had just started college – and there was no inkling of this for me, about him before that.”

Nixon also admitted that she doesn’t know how parents must feel if their children come out at a much younger age.

But she said that she never had any doubt she’d embrace having a transgender child, particularly after reading an article about parents dealing with a similar thing.

“Before I ever had an inkling my kid might be trans I read a really extensive article (about) all of these parents of pre-pubescent kids who were really struggling with this,” she was quoted as saying. “There was one dad who said, ‘At a certain point, the decision seemed to me I could have a dead son or a live daughter’ and it’s like, after you say that, what more is there to say?”

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bka88yRFSC3/

She added: “You can make all the arguments that you want… but the fact is, as a parent, as a human, you should listen to what people tell you about themselves.”

Nixon has another son with wife Christine Marinoni

Continue Reading

Editor's Picks

Trans kagawad at the COVID-19 frontline

As a frontliner during the COVID-19 pandemic, trans barangay kagawad Kristine T. Ibardolaza of Antipolo City said that her work may be risky, but it’s gratifying because she is one of those who help the needy. Right now, she said, everyone’s fighting, but “this is the time when we should be united as one. We should have one goal. And that is to stop this pandemic.”

Published

on

“It’s very risky to be at the frontline because (in the case of COVID-19) we can’t see the enemy,” said Kristine T. Ibardolaza, a barangay kagawad of Barangay Mayamot in Antipolo City, one of the frontliners facing COVID-19 pandemic. “But as days (pass), I am able to say that it’s gratifying because you know you are one of those who help the needy.”

Kristine admitted that “you’re also only human so it gets hard. It’s physically draining, and a mental torture.” However, “we still trust that everything (happens for a reason).”

A barangay kagawad (in English, barangay councilor) is an elected government official, a member of the Sangguniang Barangay/Barangay Council of a particular barangay, the smallest administrative division in the Philippines. As local leaders, they are directly in touch with people at the grassroots/communities.

With the Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) due to Covid-19, barangay officials were tasked by Pres. Rodrigo Duterte to helm the response to the COVOD-19 pandemic. And so “with our barangay captain… we pack food for our constituents, while monitoring how they are doing. We also give them hope that this, too, shall pass,” Kristine said.

Kristine admitted that “you’re also only human so it gets hard. It’s physically draining, and a mental torture.” However, “we still trust that everything (happens for a reason).”

The barangay – Mayamot – that Kristine serves is big. “It’s like a municipality,” she said, with “more or less 80,000 registered voters.” The number doesn’t include the other family members of these voters – e.g children.

“As much as possible, we want to reach everyone/all families,” Kristine said. But “sorry to say we still haven’t done this… for instance in the food packs made. But at the moment, I think we’ve reached 70% of the families; going to 80%.”

Service delivery is also proving to be challenging.

“I’m not sure if some people think this is a joke; they act like there’s a fiesta. Lack of discipline is the number one challenge. If people follow social distancing, or stay home to save lives, then our job will be easier,” Kristine said.

Already, Kristine – with the other local officials – have been working round-the-clock.

After packing the goods during the day, for instance, and “with help from the sitio chairman, we decided to distribute goods at night, when more people are asleep and are indoors.” This is because when visits are done during the day, people tend to congregate; and this is to be avoided in the time of COVID-19.

“We thought a pandemic like this only happens in movies. It never occurred to me that at a time when I’m the elected barangay kagawad, I’d face a problem like this,” Kristine said.

Kristine said it’s also challenging being a public official because sometimes, “nakalimutan ko pala na may pamilya rin ako. At hindi kami exempted sa pandemic na ito (I forget I also have family. And we’re not exempted from the pandemic).”

To other LGBTQIA elected officials, Kristine said: “Let’s be brave. This isn’t a fight only of LGBTQIA people, but of the whole Philippines and the whole world.”

She added that people should “never underestimate the power of prayers. If everyone prays, this will (soon) end.”

“Lack of discipline is the number one challenge. If people follow social distancing, or stay home to save lives, then our job will be easier,” Kristine said.

But Kristine said that bickering has to stop.

“Right now, everyone’s fighting; even within the LGBTQIA community. This is the time when we should be united as one. We should have one goal. And that is to stop this pandemic,” she said. “This is the time when we should be loving ourselves the most. This is the time when we should express our love to our loved ones. A simple smile for our frontliners. This could lift their spirits.”

And in the end, “everyone – no one is exempted – is experiencing difficulties. Hopefully, everyone is also eyeing a better future after this pandemic.”

As days pass, “I am able to say that (my work is) gratifying because you know you are one of those who help the needy.”

Continue Reading

#KaraniwangLGBT

Defining who you are…

Before discovering she’s a woman, Ruffy Yulo – an intersex person with Klinefelter syndrome – said people gossiped that she “just wanted” to be a woman so she “can sleep around.” The mockery of intersex experience, she now says, ignores the difficulties intersex people go through.

Published

on

This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

Assigned male at birth, Ruffy Yulo, 42 from Ortigas/Pasig City, was already 29 when she discovered “I’m actually intersex.”

She recalled though that, earlier, “when I was 19, when I went to the doctor, I would always get checked. The doctor would always say I have hormonal imbalance.”

But one day, when she was 29, she met a doctor in a gathering for gay and bi men. “The first time he saw me, he asked me what I was doing in that gathering.”

The doctor then mentioned to Ruffy that she may be/is intersex; and “it was the first time I heard of such a condition,” considering her sex assignment at birth.

In hindsight, though, there were “clues” in her life on her condition.

“My family actually hid it. But I don’t think it was their intention to keep it from me. I think they were also scared that society won’t understand (my situation),” she said. But she recalled that “one time, we went to the pediatrician who looked after me. I heard him say: ‘Did I not tell you in the past to fix this?’.”

And so when she was told she’s intersex, “I thought I’d just do the test (karyotyping). If I see from the test that I’m not intersex, that’s okay.”

But when Ryffy took the test, “I found out that I was actually a mosaic, I was really surprised. I was happy, but at the same time, I was also very confused.”

“My family actually hid it. But I don’t think it was their intention to keep it from me. I think they were also scared that society won’t understand (my situation).”

LIFE LIVED HARD

There was a time when Ruffu met someone who’s intersex. “That time, I thought, their case is very complicated. But their situation also made it easy for them… like explaining to those who’d mock them. I was young then; and that’s what I thought – that it was easier for them.”

But after finding out she, herself, is intersex, “it turns out I was wrong. When I found out (I’m intersex), that was when I realized how difficult it is to be intersex.”

For example, as an adolescent, “when my body started changing, I had difficulty going to the toilet. When I go to the male toilet, I would get questioned: ‘Ma’am, this is the male toilet; yours is on the other side.’ There came a point when I wouldn’t even go to a toilet anymore. I’d just contain myself, and use a toilet when I’m in a place with (gender-neutral facilities).”

And when she applies for a job, “I always get to the second interview. But when I undergo medical exams, I never get any more calls.”

Ruffy said: “There was a point in time when I felt I was alone. I felt like there was no one to talk to. It’s like even if you’re talking to a loved one, they don’t really understand you. It’s like speaking in a foreign language with them.”

BODY AUTONOMY

For most people who know Ruffy, “from the time we were classmates to the present time, they all consider me as gay. So even if I explain my situation as an intersex person, they will not understand. In fact, I tried several times,” she said.

There were times when people gossiped about her in school, for instance.

“When we were supposed to have a reunion, I was not able to attend. There were rumours that I (had gender affirmation surgery as a trans woman). That I had surgery because I just wanted to sleep around. Those were the stories that went around. But the truth was, I was already at risk for testicular cancer. That was the main reason why I had myself checked.”

The doctor who can do the surgery Ruffy needed here in the Philippines only had around 70 cases. “Unlike in Thailand, when I went there, I met my doctor and he already did over a thousand cases. In those 1,000 cases, he did (surgery) on two intersex individuals already. So I felt a lot safer (with him).”

It was a costly procedure, Ruffy admitted.

“But, you know, at that time when I did this, I didn’t have a choice. I was already at risk of having testicular cancer. And things needed to be removed. I also told my parents then that since there are many issues with my body, I wanted to fix everything in one go. At that time I was at risk to get testicular cancer, I had hernia… and there was that issue with my being intersex,” she said.

After her surgery, when Ruffy returned to the Philippines, she bled. “So I rushed myself to the hospital. There, while the doctor was checking me, I was surprised when nurses started gathering around me. They left their patients. They were all there trying to ask me several questions. I felt that the questions were irrelevant. They asked: How do you do sex? Why do you think you bled? Did you insert something inside you? Some of them I found really offensive,” Ruffy recalled. “But at that time, I had very little choice but to answer them. I thought, too, that maybe it’s for my own benefit.”

“When I found out (I’m intersex), that was when I realized how difficult it is to be intersex.”

In hindsight, Ruffy said that “there (isn’t a lot of study done about the intersex condition). In fact, when I was talking to a physician, he told me that when they were still in medical school, there’s only one chapter covering this topic. What they know is so limited, so that every time they encounter an intersex person, they tend to ask a lot because it’s their only chance to get answers.”

To Ruffy, though – and she stresses this – if intersex people think that getting (non-necessary) surgery is the answer, “the solution for them to be happy, let me say this isn’t the solution. In fact I discourage intersex individuals to undergo surgery. To start, it’s costly. Secondly, it’s hard. Take my case, for instance, after undergoing the procedure, there were complications. One of the complications for me was… like I had early menopause. So the tendency was… for my bones to be more brittle.”

ON FINDING LOVE

“We know that a lot of men want someone who’s ‘normal’. They want someone who can conceive. They want someone they can grow old with… while caring for their grandchildren. This is something I can’t give,” Ruffy said.

So for a time, she didn’t date. “I mean, I also tried dating. But it’s challenging; it doesn’t work out. From the very start, even before we go on a date, I already tell them (that I am intersex).”

The doctor told her not to immediately disclose. “There was an instance after the surgery – when the doctor told me not to immediately disclose – when not disclosing gave me more problems. The guy thought I lied to him. Even if, in fact, that was not the intention.”

FINDING THE COURAGE

To younger intersex people, Ruffu said that “it’s totally normal to be scared. I will not say that you will instantly be courageous. But if you are facing hardships, these challenges are not exclusive to intersex people. Bisexuals, gays, lesbians and (even) heterosexuals – people from all spectrum, we all encounter difficulties. Perhaps it’s just more complicated for intersex people.

“But, you know, don’t limit your way of thinking that you’d amount to nothing. In fact, there are more chances to improve.”

“There was a point in time when I felt I was alone. I felt like there was no one to talk to. It’s like even if you’re talking to a loved one, they don’t really understand you. It’s like speaking in a foreign language with them.”

That there will always be people who will look down on (or at least look differently at) intersex people does not escape Ruffy.

“What I learned over time is that it is the people who discriminate who have problems. They may be afraid that what other people experience, it will also be done to them. For instance, a person may say another person is not capable. It may be because that person is the one who is not capable. They are only projecting to others their lack of capability,” she said. “The truth is, if we give others a chance, there’s more to everyone (than meets the eye).”

Continue Reading

#KaraniwangLGBT

Trans in Baguio

Van Sanchez, the trans woman vice president of the Baguio City Federation of the Sangguniang Kabataan, believes LGBTQIA people should be strong in fighting for what they feel in their hearts. For her, it’s time to show haters that “we’re already here, and we’re standing up for our human rights.”

Published

on

This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

Van Sanchez, 25 years old from Baguio City, realized she’s trans when she was 15. This wasn’t… surprising for her, since “there are other LGBTQIA people in (my) clan,” she said. “There are 11 of us brothers and sisters. Two of us are ‘bakla’. We also have one sibling who’s a lesbian. So we’re totally complete in the family – we have lesbian and gay members.”

Perhaps it is this that made her family more accepting of her, since when Van’s parents found out she’s trans, “they didn’t react badly… They still fully support us.”

This isn’t to say Van’s life was always easy.

“Yes, I also experienced discrimination,” she said. “A lot of people in society still can’t accept people like us.”

This is why “I’m here advocating for gender equality.”

“If I have a message to younger LGBTQIA people, it’s for them to be strong. Follow your dreams. Stand up for what you feel in your heart; and be proud of this.”
“I was never intimidated while schooling. They cut my hair; they made me change how I presented myself,” she recalled. But she said she never let this stop her.

Van was elected to be part of Sangguniang Kabataan in 2018, she said “representing the LGBTQIA community.” She also won as the vice president of the Baguio City Federation of the Sangguniang Kabataan.

For Van, “it’s not difficult to be a public official. It’s not difficult even for me who’s part of the LGBTQIA community as a trans woman. The work you do is the same.”

Van thinks that being LGBTQIA is somewhat easier in a city like Baguio.

“Here in Baguio City, it’s not that hard to live as a trans person. Particularly now that there are people like us who advocate for gender equality in the city. I have yet to see locals discriminate against people like us,” she said.

She noted – and acknowledged – though that “perhaps they just don’t discriminate as much. It’s not bad to be trans here because people know about us… and they somehow accept us already.”

Van believes “fighting” starts within.

While completing a degree in education, “I was never intimidated while schooling. They cut my hair; they made me change how I presented myself,” she recalled. But she said she never let this stop her.

“I also don’t believe in these when teaching. What matters more is how you teach your students; that you share your knowledge to them. Teaching should not be premised on the physical appearance of people; and even in the acquisition of knowledge/education,” Van said.

“Yes, I also experienced discrimination,” she said. “A lot of people in society still can’t accept people like us.”
“We’re already here, and there’s nothing you can do about that.”

Now, “if I have a message to younger LGBTQIA people, it’s for them to be strong. Follow your dreams. Stand up for what you feel in your heart; and be proud of this,” Van said, adding that “trans people and LGBTQIA community members should be united in fighting for our human rights.”

And to those who discriminate against LGBTQIA people, Van said: “Good luck. We’re already here, and there’s nothing you can do about that. We’re here standing in front of you, and we’re here standing up for our rights. In the end, we’re all humans, and we’re equals in the eyes of God.”

“Teaching should not be premised on the physical appearance of people; and even in the acquisition of knowledge/education,” Van Sanchez said.

Continue Reading

#KaraniwangLGBT

Forever seeking the love…

Forever Diosa may not have personally experienced discrimination as a gay man, but his life – even with supportive family – isn’t always easy. His heart has been broken, for instance. But he believes in using pain to elevate oneself – something, he said, LGBTQIA people should learn.

Published

on

This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

People told Forever Diosa that “if being gay is a sickness, then it can be washed away,” he said. So then gay people can just shower every day to wash this away. “But you can’t wash this away. And so there’s that pain when people mock you for being gay… Every time we step out, we have to accept we’d be ridiculed even if we did nothing wrong.”

Forever Diosa (a.k.a. Geraldine Madridano; and lives in Malabon, Metro Manila) was “five years old when I knew I am part of the LGBTQIA community. I knew because I felt it,” he said, adding that nothing, in particular, triggered this realization.

He isn’t surprised, though, since “let’s say it’s in my blood. There are other family members who are also LGBTQIA.”

He has an an uncle, a designer, who’s also part of the LGBTQIA community; a sibling is trans; and another is a lesbian.

“My family is happy I’m gay. Think of it this way: Would they rather have a drug addict for a child, or a gay child? It’s practical; parents know who they’d choose to have as a child,” he said.

“You should know how to respect yourself. And you should know how to respect others.”
“You can say you helped your nieces/nephews, and your parents. But people say it’s different when you have your own child who will look after you in old age,” he said.

His eldest sibling is a policeman – and Forever Diosa is proud of this. “Just think of that: I have a brother who’s a policeman. None can imagine I have a policeman for a brother. A policeman who has two gay brothers. That seems improbable. I am proud of my brother; I salute him because he is proud of us.”

Not surprisingly, Forever Diosa draws support from his family.

“We can’t say my siblings are perfect. But we’re there to support each other. We support those who need support. Because we can say that at the end of the day, the blood in our veins connect us.”

All too apparent, in a way, Forever Diosa is more privileged.

“I did not experience discrimination as a gay person,” he said; something he attributes to “knowing how to position yourself as a gay person. You should know how to respect yourself. And you should know how to respect others.”

But life isn’t a bed of roses for Forever Diosa.

“Oh, yes, I loved one guy before… We were together for four years,” he recalled.

But then things soured. The guy dumped him… for no apparent reason.

“Until now I want to ask him: What happened to the two of us? I believe that when leaving a relationship, the people involved should talk. That way, if we see each other again, we can smile at each other; we can still be friends.”

But Forever Diosa said that “I am not ashamed to claim him as the guy who hurt me… I don’t regret this experience. I know I was able to help him, and he also helped me.”

He added: “All of us, we have roles to play on Earth. I don’t regret this experience because I survived it. It’s like, his life was extended because of me. Actually… not necessarily because of me. But I became an instrument to help him.”

But the experience actually changed Forever Diosa.

“In the past, people just called me Diosa. But Diosa died because Diosa was hurt. And Forever Diosa was born to show strength.”

“I believe that when leaving a relationship, the people involved should talk. That way, if we see each other again, we can smile at each other; we can still be friends.”
“All of us, we have roles to play on Earth. I don’t regret this experience because I survived it.”

Forever Diosa believes in – shall we say – limited equality.

“I can’t say I back marriage equality because I’m a religious person. I respect other people’s opinions; but I also respect what’s ‘right’. So I don’t believe in marriage equality for now,” he said.

Somewhat contradictory to this, he added: “I support the need to pass the Anti-Discrimination Bill. I may not have personally experienced discrimination, but it could benefit those who are not as privileged as me. There are LGBTQIA people who are not well educated; and they should know their rights. Non-discrimination could also benefit the young, whose parents may eventually rely on. The young need to know/tackle discrimination. This is why we need equality.”

Forever Diosa said that people asked him who will look after him when he gets older.

“You can say you helped your nieces/nephews, and your parents. But people say it’s different when you have your own child who will look after you in old age,” he said.

And so “I hope to have my own family. I hope to find a woman who will understand my past as a gay man. That’s what I will be looking for.”

Jokingly, he said: “I have a female office mate; we agreed that if she won’t find a BF by the time she turns 37, we’d be an item. She’s not yet 37, and she’s still single. I tell her to find a BF, and that our promise to each other won’t be fulfilled.”

Engaging with younger LGBTQIA people, Forever Diosa said “I tell them, ‘Study well.’ Respect yourself. Love yourself. Only you can elevate yourself. The people around you are only there to support you.”

And to people who continue to ridicule and hurt LGBTQIA people, “thank you; you inspire us to do/be more.”

“I hope to have my own family. I hope to find a woman who will understand my past as a gay man. That’s what I will be looking for.”

Continue Reading
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

Most Popular