By Toni Gee Fernandez
President/Executive Director, Mujer-LGBT Organization
For years, we fought to convince the world that the enemy of trans people was outside, systems, policies, institutions, people who refused to see our humanity. But somewhere along the way, something shifted. The enemy is not the community anymore. It is them. It is the way they have turned on each other.
There is a quiet cruelty happening within trans spaces, a kind of violence that does not leave bruises but cuts just as deep. You see it in the way they size each other up, who is “soft,” who is “hard,” who is “beautiful,” who is “not.” These are not harmless labels. These are judgments sharpened into weapons.
And here is the part they refuse to acknowledge: not all trans people have the privilege to access gender-affirming surgeries or even buy gender-affirming hormone therapy. Yet somehow, those who can afford it have begun to treat it like a license to look down on everyone else. As if medical access makes them more woman, more valid, more worthy.
They scream about discrimination, yet they are often the first to discriminate against their own sisters. They demand acceptance from the world, yet fail to offer it within their own circles.
What they do not realize is this: every insult, every comparison, every petty hierarchy chips away at the very movement they claim to defend. You cannot fight for dignity while humiliating those beside you. You cannot call for solidarity while creating divisions rooted in privilege, appearance, or the “completeness” of someone’s transition.
The truth is uncomfortable but necessary, change will not begin with society. It must begin with them. With the courage to confront the unspoken cruelty within our own spaces. With the humility to admit when we have hurt each other. With the willingness to rebuild trust where it has been broken.
Because the trans movement was never just about survival. It was about community. It was about lifting each other in a world that tried to push us down. And if that world still feels heavy, maybe it’s because they have forgotten how to carry one another.
Healing starts with accountability. And accountability starts with telling the truth, even when it is painful.
