Cheating is apparently quite common, with 23% of men and 19% of women who are not married having cheated.
This is according to Techopedia, which analyzed available data on infidelity to create a one-stop guide to the secretive world of cheaters – answering questions such as ‘do men really cheat more than women?’ and ‘which US states have the most cheaters?’.
Key findings of the analysis done by Techopedia include:
- US tops the league table of countries with the most cheaters
- Texas, Nebraska and Alabama are America’s infidelity hotspots
- 31% of affairs are conducted between co-workers
- 18.6% of men in Europe do not consider sexual intercourse to be cheating
- 23% of men and 19% of women who are not married have cheated
US cheating by state
In a league table of which countries cheat the most, the US comes in first place, with a staggering 71% of people surveyed admitting to cheating. Germany and the UK come in close behind, with 68% and 66%, respectively.
A closer look at America’s infidelity map reveals where cheating is most prevalent. A 2023 survey by Solitaire Bliss, which polled nearly 2,000 people, found Texas, Alabama, and Nebraska to be the top states for infidelity. Additionally, data from Ashley Madison highlights Columbus, Ohio, and the Florida cities of Miami and Orlando as having the highest rates of unfaithful partners.
Infidelity in the workplace
The data reveals that 31% of affairs happen with co-workers. Industry and job roles certainly play a big part; a study from the Journal of Sex Research shows that the likelihood of having an affair increases with one’s position on the corporate ladder. Specifically, 9% of non-management and low-management employees report infidelity, a figure that more than doubles to 24% among middle management and rises to 37% for upper management.
Data from Ashley Madison reveals that men in a trade (e.g. carpenters, electricians, plumbers) and information technology fields are more prone to infidelity. In contrast, women in education and medical professions are more likely to cheat.
The definition of cheating varies: 18.6% of European men don’t think intercourse is cheating
For some, any “bonding” that makes your partner unhappy can be considered cheating, including emotional affairs. However, definitions of cheating vary widely. While intercourse is often viewed as the ultimate form of cheating, a 2017 survey by Superdrug Online Doctor reveals that it isn’t always seen that way. According to the survey, 18.6% of European men, 14.4% of European women, and 3% of American men do not consider intercourse as cheating.
On the flip side, 43.5% of American women consider going out as friends to be a form of cheating, compared to just 23.4% of European women. When it comes to more intimate actions like handholding, over half of American women view it as cheating, while a third of European women do. Overall, American women have a lower threshold for what they consider unacceptable, including emotional intimacy, compared to their European counterparts.
It’s often assumed that men cheat more than women, and while this is true, for unmarried couples the difference isn’t substantial. A study by the Kinsey Institute found that 23% of men and 19% of women have cheated. However, the gap widens significantly for married couples. According to the 2022 General Social Survey (GSS), 20% of men and 13% of women admitted to infidelity. Additionally, 67% of men and 53% of women who cheated on their spouse did so more than once, per the Truth About Deception.
Interestingly, men and women cheat in different ways, and cheating rates are influenced by age. Men are more likely to engage in one-night stands, while women often seek emotional connections. Moreover, men tend to cheat more as they grow older, with the trend peaking before they reach 80. In contrast, women’s peak years for infidelity are generally between 50 and 69.
Why do people cheat?
The reasons behind infidelity often stem from emotional and psychological factors. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy identifies key motivations for cheating, including anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment to one’s partner, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation. For men, sexual desire and the pursuit of variety are significant factors, as highlighted by a 2017 survey where men cited reasons such as “the other person was really attractive” and “people were hitting on me.” Additional reasons men gave included doubts about their relationship, lack of sexual intimacy with their partner, and feeling neglected.
In contrast, women commonly cite their partner’s lack of attention as a primary reason for cheating, which aligns with the broader issue of feeling unloved. Other reasons include finding a new partner emotionally supportive, doubts about the relationship, physical attraction to the other person, and boredom.
These findings support psychologist Ritch C. Savin-Williams’s observation that men are more likely to be motivated by sexual desires, while women are often driven by a need for emotional connection.
The repercussions of being unfaithful
One of the most significant consequences of infidelity is its role in causing divorce. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), 88% of divorced couples identified infidelity as a major factor in the breakdown of their marriage. Beyond the marital split, the emotional pain and loss of trust that follow can cause lasting damage, straining relationships with family and friends and potentially leading to the isolation of the betrayer.
This isolation can contribute to further psychological issues, including depression and anxiety, which may lead to regretting their actions. In fact, Superdrug Online Doctor’s 2017 survey found that in the U.S., 57.8% of cheating women and 71% of cheating men regretted their actions.
Infidelity not only inflicts psychological and emotional damage on the betrayed partner – who may experience anger, sadness, and confusion – but also impacts children if the couple has any. Children can suffer from increased anxiety and depression, which may lead to declines in academic performance and social interactions. They often feel torn between their parents and may even blame themselves for the family’s breakdown.
The long-term effects on the family can also include reduced frequency of family gatherings and increased tension among relatives, leading to strained relationships.
Is your partner unfaithful? Learn to identify cheating red flags
Although cheating is often seen as a one-sided action where the cheater bears the blame, it’s important to remember that relationships involve two parties. Infidelity might not occur if both partners address their needs and maintain mutual satisfaction. However, a partner’s low commitment or desire for variety can be beyond the betrayed partner’s control. In such cases, it is beneficial for the betrayed to be aware of infidelity rather than being left in the dark.
To help identify potential unfaithfulness, Techopedia suggests watching for red flags such as increased time away from home, difficulty reaching your partner, frequent late hours, new hobbies that might involve others, and a noticeable decline in interest in daily interactions and future plans.
Techopedia also advises being alert to other specific signs and recommends several tools to help investigate whether your partner might be cheating. The article explores these details further.
Remember, while you can’t control infidelity, you can stay alert to the signs if you suspect your partner might be cheating.
