Last year, I “chatted” with two of my long-term partner’s partee-mates (the people he uses drugs with, so they can have sex for days). One was apologetic (e.g. that he didn’t know Tar, my partner, was in a relationship; and he didn’t know that Tar “suffered” because of their drug sessions, including the hospitalization, job loss, and so on). The other one was “quiet”; but he saw the messages I sent to him, and these even drove him away from some of his online accounts (like Telegram, Viber and LinkedIn).
But at least both left Tar alone.
At least until they didn’t.
I just found out that the one who didn’t respond has contacted Tar again; and that they have been having sessions again. This Ortigas-living engineer who works in Pasig.
And this is something I have come to realize with partee-goers. That is, they get addicted. When there is fear of discovery, they make an escape (including avoiding the partee-mates who could put them at risk to be discovered). And then – give them enough time – they re-connect with their past partee-mates again anyway, so they can become addicted together again.
It’s a cycle; for some, even a never-ending cycle.
And it’s a cycle those who love someone consumed by drugs have to live with, to deal with.
At times I actually think it’s “better” that I know who Tar partees with; at least there’s “safety” in knowing, right?
But addiction is addiction, and it still needs to be dealt with.
And apparently, not just by the partee-goers, but those around them, too (myself included). This is something I have to continuously process, too.
Besides… the partee-mates still “disappear” when shit happens. This one does, definitely. No word at all from him when Tar lost another job. Not even a sigh when Tar started fighting with family members (because of the “disappearances”). And his “solution” to Tar’s personal difficulties is “I have stocks, come over”.
The wish is always for some awakening to happen. For this – or any – partee-related cycles to be broken. And yeah, the waiting continues…
