Feeling secure in a relationship is not only about how people connect with their partners today. It may also depend on how confident they are that the relationship will continue into the future. Feelings of closeness, trust, and connection, together with a sense that the relationship is stable and has a future, can shape how people experience their romantic relationships.
For people with diverse sexual identities, these expectations may be shaped not only by their relationship but also by the wider social environment. Concerns about whether a relationship will be accepted by family and society, for example, may affect how secure people feel about maintaining their relationships over time.
Assistant Professor Fan Yang from the Faculty of Letters, Arts and Sciences, Waseda University, Japan, and Zichen Zhai from the Graduate School of Education and Human Development, Nagoya University, Japan, investigated whether gay and heterosexual men differ in how they experience romantic attachment and whether perceived relationship stability would help explain these differences. The study was published in the journal BMC Psychology.
The researchers focused on two aspects of attachment: anxiety, which can involve worrying about being abandoned or being unsure about a partner’s feelings, and avoidance, which can involve discomfort with emotional closeness or relying on a partner.
“Our findings highlight the critical role of relationship stability in shaping adult attachment patterns, particularly within sexual minority populations,” says Yang.
The researchers collected questionnaire data from 603 men aged 20–29 years living in Shanghai, China. The participants included 303 gay men and 300 heterosexual men. They completed questionnaires measuring attachment anxiety and avoidance, perceived romantic relationship stability, and their romantic relationship history.
Among the 510 participants who had experienced at least one romantic relationship, the researchers assessed perceived relationship stability by asking how stable they considered their romantic relationships to be, with responses ranging from “very unstable” to “very stable.” Attachment anxiety and avoidance were assessed using a nine-item questionnaire designed to measure these two dimensions of romantic attachment.
The findings showed that gay men reported higher levels of both attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance than heterosexual men. These differences remained after accounting for economic and occupational statuses.
The researchers found little difference between gay and heterosexual men in their relationship histories. The groups reported similar numbers of romantic relationships and similar durations for their shortest relationships. The researchers found a clearer difference when they asked participants how stable they considered their relationships to be. Gay men reported lower perceived stability than heterosexual men, and perceived relationship stability statistically accounted for the differences in attachment anxiety and avoidance between the groups.
“The feeling that ‘this relationship has a future’ may be an important part of romantic security,” explains Yang.
Overall, the study suggests that romantic security may depend not only on how people experience their relationships, but also on how confident they feel about their relationships continuing into the future.
For people with diverse sexual identities, this sense of stability may also depend on whether their relationships feel accepted and supported by their families, communities, and wider social environment.
“These findings may be relevant to relationship counseling, mental health support, and services for sexual minority individuals. Support may need to consider not only communication between partners, but also concerns about whether the relationship can be accepted, supported, and maintained over time,” says Yang.
